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netman

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Everything posted by netman

  1. Mar, good advise but one thing; you fail to address HOW to ELIMINATE those unfounded feelings and insecurities. I think that she realizes where these feelings come from, and I think she's reaching out for help on how to stop these feelings and thoughts. Kitty, your feelings are NOT pathetic. Your feelings are real and they cannot be ignored. I too was pretty bad at one time with my jealousy and possessiveness. I'm not completely cured, but I'm much, much better thanks to this site. The best help I've received here are from people who have been where you are and have bettered themselves, so here's my contribution. The fact that you're here, you know for a fact that you're definitely (not maybe) going to drive your partner away. But picture him leaving you because of this. Not a pretty thought right? BUT what if you guys WERE to break up? What if he DID cheat on you? What if he DID leave you? Would it be the end of the world? No. Would it hurt? Of course it would, but would jealousy and possessiveness decrease the odds that he won't cheat on you? Nope, not at all. As for being upset if he looks at an attractive woman on the TV, so what if he DID find the woman on TV attractive. You can't translate him finding a woman attractive to he finds YOU less attractive because the woman on the TV is attractive. You following me? You have to work on building your self-esteem, and you have to love yourself more than you love the relationship. You're more than likely a codependent and clearly you're too emotionally attached to your boyfriend and to the relationship. You have to work on your jealousy and you're going to have to mentally detach a little from the relationship. You have to work on getting rid of the fear of losing the relationship and losing the love of your partner. Try not to obsess over these thoughts; don't let your imagination get the best of you. Concentrate and work on being a better, more trusting girlfriend. Believe me, he'll love you more for I recommend picking up the book "Overcoming Jealousy" and "Codependent No More". The first book helped me realize the thought process of the jealous mind and made logic of my jealous illogical thoughts (hope that makes sense). It helped me wake up and realize that my jealousy would push away the person I'm trying so hard to be over-protective of and protect, my girlfriend. It helped me to slow down my jealous thoughts and actions/re-actions, and helped me realize what my fears were based on, and I was able to see beyond my fears and beyond the possibility of losing my girlfriend and her possibly doing something to destroy my trust. The second book, helped me realize that all these jealous thoughts grew more and more from my codependency to my girl and the relationship. I'm a totally different person then I was 5 months ago. I love and trust my girlfriend, I don't question her about things, and I don't obsess over what I think she's doing when I'm not around. I used to be at work thinking all day long, wondering who was she talking to, who was looking at her, who was trying to approach her. I learned to stop worrying about things I can't control, and I'm more at peace with myself. My girlfriend notices the change, and she loves me more for it and we couldn't be happier. Remember, love yourself more than your relationship. Remember that your boyfriend chose to be with you, and he loves you. Trust him with all that you got, and work on your self-esteem and insecurities. I wish you luck, and please keep us updated with your progress.
  2. I agree 100% with Nate, and I know first hand that that's the only option you have. Her interest level has already hit rock bottom if she's treating you in this way. And lokagirla, I see your point about control, but I think that it's not control over the girl that is important, but control of the relationship in the sense that you don't let the relationship become more important then your personal happiness. I JUST this weekend broke up with my girlfriend because she was becoming very argumentative and she would snap at the pettiest things. Even though she treats me like a king and all, plus she's gorgeous (model material), I love myself more than my relationship with her. I was becoming unhappy after months of her trying, and me trying to put up with it, so I gave up. I broke up with her on Sunday, and she cried, and showed me emotions that I've never seen before. She is a very secure person and she has a lot of pride, so it took a lot for her to call me day after day trying to win me back after I kept rejecting her and rejecting her. After about 3 days, I felt that she was sincere in her motivation to change for the better so I decided to take her back. But in my head, she's on "probation" and I'm going to take it slow to see if she really is going to change. If she doesn't, I will not hesitate to leave again. I know that you're not supposed to want your partner to change, but this is something that I could not put up with. So far things are WAYYY better, and now she knows that if she goes back to that petty arguing and stuff, I'm not afraid to leave. Some might say that I now have the control of the relationship, but I rather say that I have the upper hand now. Never be afraid to end a relationship just because you love the girl. Seems like you've been showing her a lot of weak signs, and she's disrespecting you with the comparisons and the insults. I know you love her and don't want to lose her, but you're pushing her away by accepting her crap. That might not make sense to you, but by you staying with her and tolerating her nonsense you're showing her that she could do anything to you and you won't leave. Do you really want to be in a relationship where the girl is walking all over you? Females hate weakness in their men; they want confidence. They want a man who's going to stick up for himself and stand for something. You have not done that. Forget the postitives in the relationship. Right now YOU'RE obviously reasonably content since you haven't left yet, but you will eventually resent her for her treatment and you'll resent her more after she breaks up with you. Take the advise and break up with her ASAP; there is no other option that you should even consider. If you break up with her and she really loves you, she'll try to change her ways to make the relationship better. But if you break up with her, and she easily walks away then it proves that she lost enough interest in you that she doesn't even want to try to work it out. There's no progress without struggle.
  3. Shyguy, great reply. I'm going through something a little similar, but maybe not to the same extent as BuffaloSoldier. I too have a hard time trusting my g/f, even though she never really has done anything to prove that she couldn't be trusted. I've been much better, but it's a constant up and down struggle in my head. When I do trust with all my heart, it does feel great. It feels like I have some newfound freedom in my thoughts and in my relationship. But the bad part is that the distrust gets triggered anytime she tells me about something she did and it doesn't make sense to me, and I have doubts about if it really happened or not. It's very frustrating....
  4. Please don't take this like I'm bashing anyone, but this is more proof that men and women CANNOT have platonic relationships with a person of the opposite sex when in a relationship, or at least it's very hard. Dita, I think that this probably started with emotional infidelity on your part. Even though in the beginning of the relationship with your friend, you guys had no intention of doing anything physical or sexual, you may have given this "friend" attention that you should have been giving your boyfriend and him with his girfriend. I think you saw the signs of the possibility of something happening between you and him, but what happened happened. Since you love your boyfriend and you guys have such a great relationship, I think that you should definitely tell him the truth, and if it's meant to be he'll stick by your side. But I hope that you take this as a huge lesson in life. Good luck!!
  5. This is my worse fear about marriage. My girlfriend and I are just TALKING about marriage, and sometimes I feel like she takes me for granted and has stopped making the same efforts as before. And she talks about marriage EVERY day, saying things like, "When we get married....." I know she loves me, but the lack of effort is really secretly pushing me away. It's scaring me and it's making me really think twice about going through with marrying her.
  6. Sweetpie, you're exactly right!! My sister was with a her b/f for about 7 years, and she loved and trusted him 300%, so when he spent his weekends with his "boys", she never once questioned it or suspected anything, until finally the girl he had on the side found my sister's number and called her. My sister was totally devastated and shocked. And if you don't trust them and you become jealous and accuse them of things, you will surely push them away to the arms of someone else that will make them happy since no one can remain happy being the victim of accusations and jealousy.
  7. SwingFox, that's great that you can trust your g/f 200%. You don't know how I wish that I could do that. If it was easy, a lot of us wouldn't have the problems we have with jealousy, insecurity, and distrust. It's easy to say that everyone deserves a fresh chance, and I agree with that, but it still doesn't neutralize the subconsious instict not to trust 100% because of past experiences, and the worse the experience the harder it is to give that trust; that's my point. I work at building the trust in my g/f everyday, and everyday the more she loves me and reassures me and proves it to me, I get closer to where I want to be.
  8. I believe that anyone who's been cheated on will always have a hard time trusting their new mates in any new relationship, no matter how much they believe they trust deep down inside. They tend to not trust, then allow the new partners to earn their trust instead of giving them 100% until proven otherwise. Just my 2 Cents.....
  9. Eyethink, man you got me thinking big time. Your situation sounds like it could be me in 15 years. Is there hope for our relationship if my g/f remains this way? Did you see signs of this behavior before you got married? I'll give you an example of the pettiness of her arguments. I have 2 cells phones (one personal one from the job) and she was trying to call me for about an hour on Saturday during the day but she couldn't get through. I get really bad reception in the house, so it happens. Anyhow, when she finally got through (keep in mind I had no idea that she was trying to call me) she yells at me about how she's upset that she couldn't get through to me, and that it's my responsibility to make sure that I have reception since that's the only way she can get in contact with me. I was like WTF!?!?! I told her that that was the dumbest thing she ever argued with me about. Then later that day, something else I did pissed her off and again she argued with me and we hung up the phone. This doesn't happen to often, but when it does I get so angry and I feel like she's being selfish and illogical in her reasons for argueing; she's definitely pushing me away. She's gorgeous, very loving and affectionate, but I'm beginning to feel like she's not bringing anything positive to this relationship. Sometimes I think that she takes things for granted since we've already talked about marriage and stuff. Yesterday, we spent an ok day together, but I was still so angry that I told her that I wouldn't marry her until she took anger management classes. She laughs thinking I'm joking and insists that she doesn't have a problem. She's argued with her family and everyone else all her life that to her it's natural. She's constantly bickering at me and she tells me that that's the way she talks and that I'm too sensitive. I love her and I could definitely see her as my wife, but I feel like she's going to drive me bananas and I see myself becoming very discontent. Should I break up with her hoping that she realizes how her bickering and arguing is hurting me? I WOULD risk losing her, because I want to make sure that I'm happy the rest of my life. What should I do?
  10. Coyote, your ex is exactly the type of guy that I'm trying not to be anymore. Through this site I've progressed greatly and I've learned how insecurity, co-dependence and emotional attachment on his part, and past experiences all affect the jealous mind. In my view and from personal experience, being jealous and/or having jealous thoughts is not a decision that we make. All jealous people would love to switch it off or rid it overnight, but the truth is that is doesn't work that way. There's no "cure" for a jealous mind. He really has to work on his self-esteem and self value so that he doesn't have to here you validate his worth all the time. I don't think you should even consider getting back with your ex. if he doesn't admit that he's the one with the problem and that he needs help. He will never be happy and never be satisfied with you. On top of that he'll always compare you to the girl that cheated on him in the past, and in his head he'll always feel justified in his jealousy and accusations. He broke up with you because he probably felt that you didn't love and reassure him enough, which all us jealous people constantly need, and it'll never be enough. I too have had thoughts of breaking it off with my g/f because of this reason but I know better now. Reading your post made me realize a quality in my self that I have to work on. I recently put a post stating how I thought my g/f was not romantic enough and stuff like that, but yet she calls me like 3 times a day to tell me that she loves me and that's still not enough for me; I feel so ungrateful now. She tries in her little ways, but in my head I guess I've convinced myself that if she's not very romantic with me then she doesn't love me THAT much. It took your post to realize how wrong and unfair I've been; so in a funny way this post of you reaching out for help has helped me. I LOVE THIS SITE!!!
  11. I just knew that somebody would make this comment. Thank you for your honesty, but don't misunderstand. You're right, not many men act like me, but maybe I've just been spoiled in the past by having so many women who would always do these things for me, but now I find someone I may want to spend the rest of my life with, but I don't get it as much from her. Maybe that's the irony of life. I guess you're right though, Knctrnl22. Maybe my standards are pretty high; definitely a reality check for me. I should just enjoy my time with her and not think so much about this stuff. It's easier said than done though, but I'll try.
  12. Sweetypie, I guess you're on the right track since she's definitely not slacking off THAT much, but it is noticeable to me. I guess that it might be my insecure nature that needs me to be constanly reassured, so when she used to do these little things I felt great about the relationship. Since she doesn't do it as much, I get mixed feelings in my head about how things really are. Honestly, I already decided to pull back a little. I always do things not expecting things in return. However, shouldn't I call her on it when I see her slacking? It hasn't been a complete year yet, so imagine 2, 5, even 10 years of this. My resentment will rise and my interest level will drop even more. I could tell that you really love your man, but what if he stopped doing the little romantic things for you. Wouldn't you call him on it if he stopped so drastically?
  13. My g/f and I have a great relationship and we love each other dearly, but sometimes I just feel like she takes things for granted. In the beginning of the relationship, she used to be very romantic and passionate. She would send me cute e-mails and leave me romantic voicemails and stuff like that (I've always done the same and still do), but now I don't get anything like that AT ALL almost. Ever since we've gotten closer and we started talking about marriage, I feel like she has the "he's not going anywhere" attitude, so she probably thinks that she doesn't have to put in work into this relationship anymore or as much. I'm beginning to resent her, and I'm losing interest by the day. Yeah, she calls me like 3 times a day, but it's the little things that I'm talking about. Just last night, she mentioned how she notices that I don't leave HER voicemails anymore and that I've been a little cold with her. I told her that why should I do those little things if she doesn't do those little things herself. Then she started the mushy puppy eyes "you don't love anymore" talk; I know she was joking but I felt that she meant it a little. I'm concerned because a friend of mine recently got divorced from his wife of 9 years because of this same thing, but I don't want to make the mistake of getting married without clearing this issue. Am I wrong? Am I asking for too much? Am I just overreacting? Are there other ways to make my point to her?
  14. Sabena, I believe that men and women COULD have friends of the opposite sex, but I'm not really one of those types of guys. I have 5 sisters so I had all the female goto power that I needed, and I've always been "hooked up" with a female whether in a long term relationship or just dating. Although, I know a lot of female friends that I've grown up with or live in my old neightborhood, I just never maintained friendships with females (my g/f loves that) beyond just "Hello, how you been?" when I see them. Maybe when I was younger but not now. I've had relationships with females in that past that I've halted because they've found b/f's that they're happy with. I feel like I'm giving respect to the guy. Plus, a lot of guys maintain friendships with females because of the hope that one day a relationship or something could evolve, and when they see that the female found someone the hope is gone, hence the need to maintain the friendship. This may sound bad and it isn't always the case, but it's the truth. I see a lot of females who have male friends who are silently after them, but they just don't pick up on it. You mean you didn't know they liked you when they would call you everyday and invite you to the movies and dinner and stuff? Come on.... What's worse is that sometimes there are women who DO pick up on this and take advantage of the kindness and take it for weekness. Believe me, I've been down that path. Never again!!! I hope noone take offense to this...
  15. LuckyDuck, like others have stated everyone goes through this kind of situation at least once in their life. It hurst like hell, I know... For me, the best way to get over someone is to spend time with someone else. It seems that you're not interested in dating someone else because you're still stuck on that girl, but you HAVE to go out and start seeing other people. Keeping hope alive probably gets you through the day, but she is definitely stringing you along and you're letting it happen. It seems like you don't want to stop her from calling you, but you'll never move on as long as you guys still conversate. Be happy for her that she's with someone that's making her happy, now be strong and move on. You can get through this. You seem like a great person, so I don't see you having any problem meeting someone else.. I also agree with bzborow's post 100% If you don't want to go cold turkey, just slowly start telling her that you're sleeping or you're busy when she calls. Don't just ignore her calls, just slowly give her simple excuses. Maybe then she'll get the hint and decrease the calls altogether. And once you decrease the contact and you start moving on and seeing other people, you're going to find yourself a happier person and you're going to look back at this situation as a learning experience. Good luck!!
  16. These replies are helping me a lot!! I just hate feeling this way because I'm always asking my g/f questions like, "Do guys in your school approach you?" or "Do guys in the street try to talk to you?". She really gets upset when I ask her these questions. Just this morning, I ask her the first question, and she got really mad and she responded, "Why do you keep asking me? Do you want me to tell you that I do talk to these guys? Is that what you want to hear?" I felt so bad and guilty for asking her that... How can I defuse this? How can I help her to see what I'm going through without getting her upset, or should I just leave the subject alone? I'm really, really trying...
  17. I can relate to your question. My ex g/f (or should I say fiance) were together for 4 years before I dumped her. To make a very, very long story short, she cheated on me very early in the relationship, I was going to leave, she begged me to stay, and I stayed to try to make the best of things, but I developed deep insecurity and jealousy issues. I broke up with her because I couldn't stand being in a relationship with someone I couldn't trust even though she tried everything to prove her love and loyalty. Breaking up with her was the hardest thing I've ever done. I loved her soooooo much. Besides my trust issues, we had a great relationship. She was a helpless romantic like me. She used to write me love letters, send me flowers at work (believe or not), and she was very spontaneous, loving and affectionate. It's almost like she set a standard on how to show the greatest love to your b/f. It's been over 4 years now, and I still think about her. I think about her more right now since I've been with my new g/f now for a while and she is very loving and affectionate, but she is sooooooo unromantic and and she's not spontaneous at all. My ex spoiled me big time, and I sometimes secretly resent my g/f for not being romantic enough. I have to give her hints of things to do to be romantic, but she's very slow to pick up. I even sent her the book "101 Ways To Be Romantic", and still she doesn't get it. I guess I'm just comparing her to my ex too much.... But you see how my ex of over 4 years ago still has an impact in my life?
  18. I'm pretty sure that separating is not an option that you're entertaning. It's so funny that I read this, because my g/f and I get into a lot of little, little "spats" and it IRKS me. I'm a peaceful, mellow kind of guy, and I was raised with wonderful parents who hardly ever fought, and my sisters and I get along so well. My g/f is the opposite. When she's in her house and we're on the phone, I could here her screaming at her brother and her sister in the background on the daily, and she's constantly bickering at me. She's slowed down a lot since I made a really big issue about it, but she has her days that she'll catch a deep attitude with me and she'll argue about something minor, but now I just tell her that I don't want to talk to her for the rest of the day. We hang up, and she'll call me an hour later to tell me that she loves me and stuff like that, and that she thanks me for being patient with her. It bothers me a lot since we're talking about building a future together but I don't know if I could have a future with someone like that. Anyhow........ It's hard to be patient when there's constant bickering and spatting. Could it be that you've bickered and spatted with him so much that he's judging you and he thinks that everything you tell him is your way of bickering at him? Have you discussed this with him? I think you need to try be more positive about things (negativity and positivity is contagious, but negativity more so), and you should definitely ask him to spend more time with you. But when you ask him, tell him in the nicest way possible. Also, try to be romantic with him days at a time, maybe candle light dinner, massages, etc. That'll show him that there could be a really good side to your marriage when you guys are not fighting and spatting. Maybe that'lll squelsh some of the negativity which is obviously surrounding your marriage.
  19. My girlfriend is very, very good looking (a 9 on the hottie scale - model material), and she dresses very well, mostly tight fitting outfits and stuff. Sometimes I feel a little bit intimidated by her good looks, almost like if I'm out of her league, and like there's way more guys out there that look way better than me. We love each other very much, and she proves her love everyday. I don't think I have self-esteem issues (maybe I do), but sometimes I don't feel like I'm worthy enough to be with a girl that's so pretty. I know most of you guys will say that trust is what's important, and that I should feel lucky and stuff like that, but that still doesn't make me feel any better. I can't get the thought out of my head of her possibly looking at other guys as being more attractive, more now that she just started her college classes. How can I change my thinking? Any guys or girls in the same situation? Thanks!!!
  20. If he says that he was into porn before, I doubt that he threw away all his porn movies just because he got with you. I watch my porn here and there, but I would NEVER, EVER tell my g/f about it, but I don't feel guilty about it either. I don't consider that cheating or anything. I love my g/f more than anything in the world, and looking at porn doesn't change that. Pretty much most men look at porn, but some men are more excessive then others. I know guys who have Gigs of porn movies on their PCs. Me? I just have enough to keep me out of trouble Anyhow, I think that you should drop that subject altogether. If your suspicion of watching porn is the only bad part of your relationship, than you're lucky. I love my girl and I would never lie to her or cheat or do anything behind her back, but I would NEVER admit that I have porn on my PC. Men don't look at porn and think, "wow, I would leave my girl if I was to get with the girl in this porno". Yeah, we think the chicks are hot, but in reality if one of the chicks I saw in one of the movies knocked on my door, I would NOT do anything with that chick. I would think about how many guys already banged and violated that chick. Porn is just fantasy.. Are you mad about him lying to you about the porn, or are you mad of the thought of him masturbating behind your back? That's normal guy stuff that sometimes we don't even admit that we do to each other. Be happy, enjoy your relationship, and try to just let it go..
  21. All these responses are great. Keep em coming!!! Reborn, your response probably describes the way my g/f is, but she's not really flirtatious. She's just very naturally sultry, sensual, and sexy. It's funny because when I'm with her I'm not really concerned about who's looking at her. I do believe that she dresses this way to feel good about herself, but it's when we're NOT together that my thoughts become almost obsessive and I think of all the other men that also find her sultry and sexy. She's definitely very loyal and loving towards me, and I truly trust her with all my heart, but sometimes that trust is not enough to squelch those thoughts. I'm working on that part...........
  22. When a female in a relationship dresses with tight shirts, tight jeans, and sometimes shows some cleavage and she KNOWS that she's going to get a lot of attention and a lot of men gawking and approaching, do women generally like that attention or should men believe that they just dress this way to feel good about themselves? Do women in relationships handle that attention differently than when they're single? Should men be concerned if they're g/f's are dressing like this? I'm know I'm going to get mixed responses, but any response would help. Responses I've gotten in the past to similar questions have helped me tremendously, and I'm sure it could help others as well. Any men out there concerned about this like I am?
  23. YF, my ex g/f cheated on, and her excuse to me was that she was "young". I was 19 and she was 17. She was my first love, so I was in so much shock when I found out she was cheating on me that I didn't know whether to leave her, stay, deal with it, etc.. I just hung around and just dealt with it, then I threatened to leave, but she begged me, and begged me to stay, so I did. The relationship got better, but then I developed serious trust and insecurity issues that I still deal with to this day. I hung around for 4 more years, but it really screwed up my head. I turned into a jealous a$$hole b/f, and no matter what she did to prove herself, I never could really trust her again. I then began to cheat on her (she never found out, even to this say) to get back at her, but that only fulfulled my short term satisfaction for revenge. I'm in a wonderful relationship right now with a new g/f, but because of being burned in the past I have to fight myself to not compare her to my ex. I'm having a hard time giving her my 100% trust even though she deserves that and more. I work on my jealousy every day because I love this girl and I don't want to lose her over something that happened in the past. Good thing that my g/f is so wonderful and understanding. I love her soooo much!!!!! Anyway, let me get down from Cloud 9. hehehehe Anyhow, back to your issue. I'm telling you my story so that you could maybe learn from it. I can tell that you already have serious trust issues since you've been constantly cheated on in the past. I think that you really need to put yourself first and decide what you think is important for you in your life and your relationships, which is probably trust, and I believe that once a girl cheats on you the trust is GONE. No matter how much you love this girl, there's no way that it'll ever work. She cheated on you 4 times, and you're still hanging around so you're proving to her that you'll stick around no matter how many times she cheats on you. She probably lost all respect for you after the first time she cheated and you took her back. Being "young" is just an excuse to mask the real reason she's cheating. She's not honest enough to talk to and communicate with you about what's lacking in your relationship. Do you really want to be with someone like that? I say move on and learn from this and get help for your trust issues. There's too many girls out there in this world to get stuck on one. I tell you the truth when I say that I love my girl so much, but if I found out that she ever lied to me or cheated on my it'll be over in a heartbeat. I love myself too much to go through that again.
  24. I see my g/f around 3 times a week, and to me it's not enough. I spend almost all of my weekends with her. I even cut down on hanging "with the fellas" on my own choice just so that I could get closer to my girl. Not to meniton that we speak on the phone just about every morning for about 5 minutes before we go to work, and every evening for at least an hour or more. We talk about it, and we definitely don't think that we're smothering each other and we do take our days here and there for ourselves. I've been with girls in the past that I wouldn't even want to see more than twice a week, and I've NEVER been the type to talk to my g/f's on the phone so much until I met my current g/f. Like I said, sometimes I take my breaks but it's not to hang out with my friends in the bars and the clubs, because I know that if I start that it could lead me to the double life I once lead myself. Sabena, it's ok if you want do take your days away from your b/f, but is it because you want to or is it that he's asking for the space, which is ok too? Is he giving you signals?
  25. Pimpcess, you're probably right. After giving this much thought, I guess I'm still hurting from being burned in the past. I try to let go of the past, but it's easier said than done and it's been more than 4 years now!! My g/f does assure me everyday of her love, loyalty, and trustworthyness, but it's hard to completely "let go" of the past. I do trust her deep down, but it's the thought of the other guys looking at her, and trying to make eye contact and conversation with her, and her possibly making eye contact back and the guys getting the wrong message even if her eye contact is innocent. I did read the book "Overcoming Jealousy" and it's helped me, but in my mind I'm obsessed with these thoughts when I should just be enjoying my life and my time with my girlfriend. People who suffer from this jealousy could probably relate to me. From what you're reading, you're probably thinking that I'm the worst jealous boyfriend ever, but on the contrary I hold these thoughts to myself and I try my best to hold my tongue and not show my jealousy. But my progress is up and down. It was up recently, but her starting school brought it right back down. Sweetypie's words helped because she is a very attractive girl in college, which is similar to my g/f's situation. Any other female out there have words about their reactions to men who stare, gawk, approach, try to pick up, etc.... Those kind of responses help out the most. Thanks to all who take the time to respond!!!
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