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My son always loved Halloween! He planned his costume weeks in advance and we had soooo much fun going door to door together with his cousins. Good times that I miss. *Sniff*

I work in multiple capacities for a non profit organization that supports foster children as they come close to aging out of the system. I tutor these kids in math and language arts, teach them life skills for living independently, and work two days a week in a thrift shop that supports the organization. Every job with this organization is important to someone and makes a difference. Working in the store is a hoot!

I loved the 'camping' story. Funny as hell! Not everyone hates going to work. That's a generalization I disagree with. I don't get hating work. I really don't. I love going to work, it's what I live for. I love my boss, my coworkers, the actual work, the pay, just everything! Isn't it funny how different people view heaven? Mine is away from home and yours is centered on it. Interesting, isn't it?

Reducing ambient background noises at places of employment may be near to impossible. Some jobs are just noise producing by their very nature. My son has problems concentrating in a work environment and gets very easily stressed there. He has trouble getting and holding jobs for this reason. It's very frustrating for everyone involved.

CONGRATULATIONS, LITTLE R!! Way to go, buddy.

Wow. Just wow. My son will do just about anything I ask him to. My saying is, "You want to live by yourself?" I don't argue, I threaten. It works, believe me. I am also ready to back it up, though. Both our sons are going to have to live in the world on their own someday. We HAVE to prepare them for it, even if we have to get a little mean.

I still say you should give a couple of years to mature more. I like the idea of him working with you. Some time doing that and I do believe he will relish the idea of college. With the stubborn ones, you sometimes have to give them what they want and let them see the reality of that. R is just too immature for the pressures of college. It breaks people without social disabilities. Let him really work for awhile. See what happens.

Maybe he isn't ready for college just yet. Let him try a couple of years from now and he may be better with it.

Thank you for this post, Vic! NOW I know why my migraines disappeared a few years ago. I was put on a mild dose of a BP med, Valsartan and I haven't had a single migraine or any kind of headache since. Great stuff, Valsartan.

You are lucky there, but that does not mean you do not "fit in" with the group. I didn't know that your son not being aggressive negated your life as a parent to a child with Asperger's or your value to the group. I bet you didn't know that, either. I'd make a complaint to someone above her. She has no business leading this group.

I totally agree with you here. Years ago, the dentist got on him about oral hygiene and now he is obsessed with it. I couldn't do it, but a stranger could. Go figure. Still, teeth, yeah, I would not let that one go.

Vic, this is a battle you will never win. I let my son and his hygiene issues go. He is now an adult and he does as he pleases, which is how it should be. He cannot be expected to live his life to your or any other person's standards because he won't. Period. The only thing I ask of my son is that he look and smell presentable when he goes out with me, which he does. I suggest daily showers and sometimes that works, most of the time it doesn't. I would love for him to have short hair, but he prefers long hair with a beard, so I lost on that one. He will wear the same clothes for days, but he is now taking an interest in clothes so I have bought him t shirts with his favorite sports team and roller coasters on them (he loves to ride coasters, the hairier, the better). I will leave you with this, when it comes to hygiene, let others lead him. He will never do it because you nag him...ever. Well, the teeth thing I would. My son is ritualistic about brushing and using a dental rinse, so I am lucky there. He has good teeth.

My son kind of grew out of the regimentation as he got older. But his speech patterns and mannerisms are pretty much Sheldon. Love that show! It's the only tv show I watch.

I agree, but as a special ed teacher in California, we HAD to say, "person with....", or we would lose our jobs. Didn't really matter what the student wanted, though most of them preferred it that way, they wanted to be seen as a person first. It was all semantics to me. I loved and respected them the same way no matter which word came first.

Always, always, put the word person first. As a Special Ed teacher we always said, "so and so is a student with autism" or ADHD, or Tourettes, or whatever their condition was. Never forget that they are people first and foremost, they are NOT their disorder.

That program sounds fantastic! When K was that age, all children had to be completely potty trained in order to attend preschool. No exceptions. As K wasn't completely there yet at 3, he missed out on preschool. I'm glad there are preschools for kids with autism now. There were none when I was raising my son. They either fit in or they were not welcome.

Same for me. Sorry.

My brother and sister are both Aspies. Undiagnosed, but they are. Social awkwardness, difficulties in communicating with others, etc...yeah, they're there, in spades. My son is on the spectrum and so is my youngest niece (both diagnosed), my brother's youngest. Doctors told me if I had another child there would be a 50% chance that child would have ASD. Also, they most likely would have learning disorders instead of being gifted, like my son. That was enough to keep me from having any more children. My son has no learning disorders and life is still challenging for him. I would not do this to another child, or myself.

Vic, I would very much doubt that your son has Fragile X. I have worked with some of those kids in the past and most, if not all, of them have some degree of mental retardation. From what you have told us, R is very bright. I wouldn't worry about it.

Will he ever be able to function in society without some form of ABA? My son got a lot out of it. He's far from perfect, but he can function independently to a great degree, like pay bills, balance a checkbook, etc...

That's tough. What next?

My brother is an Aspie and he has driven since he was 16. It's not that hard. My son just won't, so I don't push him, but he could. Congrats to your friend's daughter. I know of people on this site who don't drive who aren't autistic. Give her a big "thumbs up" from me.

I don't see changing the system for all children just to accommodate children on the spectrum. Make the system you use for them fit them and let neurotypical children's system stay in place for them. Everyone doesn't have to fit in the same system. There should just be more than one system used.

There are wonderful things you go through when you are the parent of an autistic child. No parent is happier or more proud when their child is finally potty trained, when they learn to tie their shoelaces, when they get student of the month, when they graduate from high school, when they bring a friend home, or when they do so many things parents of "normal" kids take for granted. Along with the pain, there are more moments of joy to be had than parents of neurotypical parents get to experience.

Yeah, my son was diagnosed at 9. Even before that, though, his teachers were tops, just wonderful! Middle school? Completely different. That is where my horror story with my son's education began.