embilee

Hi I PM'd you back... can you try again? Otherwise I gave you my email address. Thanks!

I went and he was okay with it I guess because he asked me for a second date.

We're just grabbing a cup of coffee. But this is my first time doing this, so what advice can you all offer?

The photo is recent, but its just shoulders up. When I made my dating profile I clicked "average" as my body type. I am not disgustingly obese. But I am a bit above average now. This year has been stressful and I've put on about 15 pounds since august when I made my profile orginally. I don't know that there is a good way to be like "here's another picture of me." He hasn't asked for another and we're set to meet. I'm not gorgeous but I do get hit on about 60% of the times I go out. So I don't think I'm hideous or anything... but I am slightly worried he'll be put off when he sees me. Without wearing all black what are some good colors to wear or outfits to wear that will help make me look a bit slender? Any cleavage acceptable or completely off limits? Just trying to get a feel for whats appropriate. I'm looking for a boyfriend not a hookup.

Hi, I am 25 and I met a guy on a dating website. He is 28. He's only seen a head shot of me. The problem is I've put on some weight and I'm kind of fat. It doesn't bother me that much, but I am trying to lose it. I am worried though that he's going to be disappointed when we meet. I am wondering if guys can overlook weight ever? Also, what do you recommend to keep conversation going on the first date? Any help is appreciated. I am in med school and he is a lawyer. We are both well educated and both seem to have good sense of humor. Other than the fact that I am overweight, we may be a good match. But how much emphasis do you place on that? Thank you.

I have thought I had ADD since I found out about it about 9 years ago in high school. But my parents are big against medication. If you look at almost ANY childhood group picture of me, everyone else is looking at the camera. And I'm turned around, looking down, looking to the side, etc. I was once in the newspaper... the whole school was listening to bagpipes play for a Flag Celebration. The entire school was pictured standing in a circle around the flag pole... and I was turned around looking behind me... so of course my face was in the newspaper. NOT PAYING ATTENTION> LOL. But anyway, I never coulde pay attention in school. Concentration was a chore for me. Once my senior year of high school, a friend of mine who took Ritalin gave it to me, and I took it (yes, I know... bad idea.. we were 17 and that was 7 years ago). I only did that once... but I actually was able to concentrate. I was in a work at your own pace computer class and I finished 20 assignments. Normally I would do 5 in a class period. It was amazing. But my family is against drugs. So, I never pursued it. I got through school.... but my job isn't the same. Late assignmetns meant minus a few points in school, which I could easily make up on other stuff. Late stuff at work isn't quite the same. What do you think??

Because I am done with school now and have to work an 8-5 job... and my old methods of dealing with my problem aren't available anymore... I can't bring work home... and I can't work at 2am either!!!

Hi Everyone! I am 24 year old female who recently started my first job after college. I have struggled with "symptoms" of ADD my whole life, but have never been diagnosed, and have always been able to deal with this. I have my master's degree... but I honestly can say that all through my education I probably paid attentio 25% of the time... if something REALLY caught my interest. Otherwise, I was in the back of the room talking to my neighbor, doing crossword puzzles, or doodling. It took COMPLETE effort for me to ever pay attention during an entire class. I was able to learn the material... but I did so on my own. I can only do it when there are no distractions. I'd usually waste lots of time until 1 or 2am until everyone had gone to bed... no one left up in my dorm, everyone online had gone to bed... and THEN i'd begin my homework. I went through school with 3.9 GPA. And I passed my national board exam. I was able to learn the information... but not the way they wanted me to. I've always been an organizational nightmare. I'm the girl who always needs to borrow a pencil, always brought the wrong folder or notebook to class, could NOT keep an assignment book to save her life. So, now... I am with my real job, I am really struggling. I have an office job and I see patients. I am so far behind on my paperwork it is not even funny. I can't organize my day to make everything work out. My office is a shambles. I'm really having difficulty remembering everything I need to do... or if I do remember, I have troubles following through. I am a perpetual procrastinator...and that combined with poor organizational skills isn't helping me. I have not been disciplined at all at work... so there isn't really a problem... yet. I can see that this could definitely lead into big issues... even legal ones! I work with patients who deal with mediare. I shudder to think if medicare did an office. I am doing what i am supposed to be doing, but i am having problems with the documentation part. I always seem to have the wrong perosn's file, or their sheet where i'd document info is missing. I really need suggestions for this!!! Any help is much apprecited.. does this sound like Adult ADD? Or is this normal and i'm just lazy to not take the effort to deal with this like everyone else would? Thanks so much!

I have noticed myself looking at asses once in awhile. More of taking note of them, not really being turned on them... About my best friend I wrote about before... I used to feel kind of uncomfortable when she wore little shirts, like I felt like I had to make an extra effort to not look at her breasts every time I spoke to her. Is it wrong to let myself look?? If me and her are going out to eat alone somwehre and she's wearing a low cut shirt and leaning into the booth and I see cleavage, is it rude to look at it and like it? She almost always wears low-cut shirts... and I always catch myself talking to her boobs. Do you think she notices this? And if so, what do you think she thinks?

I posted this question in the gay/lesbian forum, but I know not everyone looks over in that one, so I wanted to ask over here too. I am a 22 year old straight female. My current best friend is overweight and because of it has gigcantic breasts. She wears nice bras though so her boobs aren't nasty fat boobs. They're quite nice actually and she gets complimented and stares frequently. She always wears cleavage bearing/tight shirts because that's the feature of her body she likes. This summer we were selling beer together at a baseball game. She was wearing a *very* low cut little tank top because it was pretty hot out. This guy about age 45 came and ordered a beer that was way at the bottom of the cooler. This required some digging where she had to bend down and I looked and stared down her shirt the whole time she was down. I don't know if she saw, she never said anything or acted different. However, as I was steering my glance back toward this man, I noticed that his eyes were going from her shirt and following my eyes up. He then gave me a little gross smile. What was he thinking??? What would you have been thinking if you were him? That left me feeling a little weird... I used to feel kind of uncomfortable when she wore little shirts, like I felt like I had to make an extra effort to not look at her breasts every time I spoke to her. Is it wrong to let myself look?? If me and her are going out to eat alone somwehre and she's wearing a low cut shirt and leaning into the booth and I see cleavage, is it rude to look at it and like it? She almost always wears low-cut shirts... and I always catch myself talking to her boobs. Do you think she notices this? And if so, what do you think she thinks? It's not every female that I notice breasts on, but it's not just my best friend either. I haven't seen her in a few months (we go to different colleges) but I know I'll see her over break, and this issue was brought back to light for me the other day when I noticed myself checking out a different girl's chest in one of my classes. The feelings sort of come and go. What do you all think? Thanks so much

I don't know if I'm "impressed" or "attracted." I get kind of turned on. But I don't know if it's the idea of me looking like them and having everyone want me, or if I'm actually wanting them...

Here's some history of this attraction... as you will see, it comes and goes in spurts. Sophomore year of high school I became reunited with a friend from middle school who I hadn't seen and noticed she has grown really big boobs. That's when I became fascinated. Like, I was looking through her closet and noticed all her shirts were now v-necks and knit material meaning tight and skimpy and I kept imagining her in them. She also talked about her boobs a lot. She was a year younger than me. When we hung out she would do things like jump up and down a lot so her boobs bounced and i wouldn't take my eyes off them. We stopped hanging out, that fascination lasted about a month. Junior year my best friend at the time whose really skinny got humongous boobs and I didn't pay much attention to it at first. Then I started glancing once in awhile and helped her go shopping once and picked out little tight shirts. I was helping her shop for whawt to wear on a date...what I thought he'd like. Then we grew apart. Fast forward several yaers later. My current best friend is overweight and because of it has gigcantic breasts. She wears nice bras though so her boobs aren't nasty fat boobs. They're quite nice actually and she gets complimented and stares frequently. She always wears cleavage bearing/tight shirts because that's the feature of her body she likes. This summer we were selling beer together at a baseball game. She was wearing a *very* low cut little tank top because it was pretty hot out. This guy about age 45 came and ordered a beer that was way at the bottom of the cooler. This required some digging where she had to bend down and I looked and stared down her shirt the whole time she was down. I don't know if she saw, she never said anything or acted different. However, as I was steering my glance back toward this man, I noticed that his eyes were going from looking down her shirt and following my eyes up. He then gave me a little gross smile. What was he thinking??? That was in August. I haven't had any thoughts until the other day when I noticed that girl in class.

Since I was about 14 or 15. But the feelings don't last and its not all the time. Just occasionally I will see a girl's breasts or butt and be sort of turned on. But then a few days later it won't be that way. And I won't feel that way again until a few months or even a year later.

I am a 22 year old straight female. However, every once in awhile, I will notice a girl's body and get sort of turned on. It's very rarely, but it happens. For example, there is this girl in my class who wore a particular sweater and some nice pants and I couldn't take my eyes off of her. It is mostly breasts that do it for me. However, the thought of doing anything with a female isn't appealing and weirdly looking at pictures of naked women doesn't do it either. What is going on here?

Thanks so much guys for your input. I probably should have included that my paternal grandfather was diagnosed as being alcohol-dependent. That is, he was physiologically an alcoholic, though I never considered him one because he was a quiet, sweet man -- not one of those scary people who lash out at their family and lose their jobs. He was a hardworking and kind hearted man his whole life and lived to be 87... but even on his death bed he asked for whiskey. My famly never talked about his alcohol problem though and I only found out by accident by being nosy and reading his medical records. His medical records say that his liver was enlarged and that he is alcohol-dependent. My maternal grandmother's brother (my great uncle) is a recovered alcoholic. Except I never really knew anything about him either until recently. So, I guess, I might be predisposed, but no one in my immediate family uses or abuses.

Hello, I am 22 years old, female, and I am working on my master's degree. I am very successful in school (3.9 gpa) and finished school early. I've always been on the fast track. I work insane amounts of hours at work, keep high grades with full credit loads, and still manage to have a bubbling social life. I was raised in a family where drinking was just not done. My dad will maybe have a beer if he is at home and its a Saturday night and the family is watching a movie maybe once every 2 months tops... and its just one beer. My mom probably averages one glass of wine a year. My parents just don't drink. I was eager to try alcohol but probably only drank 3 or 4 times throughout high school. Once I got to college I was eager to drink whenever opportunity presented itself. My tolerance was always really good. However, recently I've noticed that I can drink way more than everyone else and want to keep going when everyone else is ready to stop. I go out with people from work frequently and they've jokingly named my friend and I the alcoholics of work (it's just a minimum wage job). I know they're joking, but I also know that if I were drinking "normal" amounts they wouldn't have thought to call me this. I don't think I'm an alcoholic... yet. But I see myself heading down a bad path. I am wondering if any of you have dealt with this before. Alcohol has not affected any of my relationships, work, or school successes. I am never violent, dont' say mean things, don't engage in unsafe sexual activity, etc. when drunk. But, I think I drink too much. I realized there was a problem when I heard myself saying "Yeah I didn't drink much, I only had 4 drinks." Four drinks (whiskey-cokes usually) is not usually preceded by the word "only." On a good night I can have about 8 mixed drinks and several shots. I can out drink all of my male friends. I never drink alone and drink on average two nights a week. I drink because it's fun and when my friends get together that's what we do. But I always seem to drink more quickly. I don't know that I have a problem yet, but I am able to see that this has the potential to develop into a problem. Should I stop drinking forever? What do you suggest?

I forgot to mention that these men are usually 10-30 years older than me.

I am 23 years old, female, I have a college degree, and am in graduate school now. I've had a variety of jobs and internships, and whenever I have a male boss/supervisor/person in authority they hit on me and choose me as their favorite. They flirt with me above and beyond others. I've never ever done anything with one of these people, but I am just wondering what it is about me that attracts them to me. With guys my own age I'm just average... hit or miss with getting hit on. I work with other females my age, older than me, younger than me, various attractiveness levels, but it seems I'm always their "chosen" one. Any insights?