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LostInMyThoughts

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Everything posted by LostInMyThoughts

  1. LostInMyThoughts
    Really only time, NC, and occupying your mind, helpped me get over my ex. Take this date as a trial run. It could be seen as using someone but, thats life. If you're able to get through the date no problem, then it was a freak occurrence. If you find that you can't concentrate, take that as a sign that it might be too soon for you to move one--which is 100% OKAY. Better to let things happen naturally, than to force them. As for the date, keep things lite. Don't have any real expectations other than to have fun. If you want you can even let yourself be vunerable by saying "You know, I'm a little nervous--I want this date to go well and not come off as boring or quiet." She'll appreciate you being open with her.
  2. LostInMyThoughts
    Would you really want to get back with a person who dumped you?
  3. LostInMyThoughts
    Well I hope you work through your shyness and confidence--I use to be depressed and suicidal, but after some hard work, I'm glad to say thats behind me now. To answer your question: I think women do look past looks. But it takes time. Girls have to get to know you before they'll see the real beauty inside. With my gf, she was totally oblivious of me existence. But, I just worked up the nerve to start talking to her, and after awhile she found herself attracted to me--even though I was never her type, adn at the time she first met me she wasn't attracted to me. But now I regurarly tap-dat- * * * so it works out. Back to the subject, yes, I think that women tend to go for more than just looks. Looks are important, but what they see as beauty is defined a lot by things outside of looks. Of course this post is full of generalizations.
  4. LostInMyThoughts
    I use to think of it as women overreacting, but then I learned to try and read deeper into what is going on. The other day, I was playing hard-to-get, and my gf felt completely rejected, and started crying hyserically. Now, on the surface that is a total overreaction, but it seems like deep down, she has a real problem with rejection for whatever reason. I'm a lot more forgiving with my gf for overreacting than I had been with previous gf's; and I also try not to make them feel bad for overreacting. Of course she behaves in a way that I'm uncool with, I try to talk to her about it later, when we're both more rational.
  5. LostInMyThoughts
    It sounds like it's what you needed to get closure out of the relationship. It's as if you recognized the situation, and made peace with it. From that standpoint, I think it was a good thing--provided that you can live your words nad move on from this.
  6. LostInMyThoughts
    A couple things to think about. There are plenty of girls out there who with bigger guys. Truthfully, most of those girls don't place a high emphasis on looks. It's more about a persons confidence, and how these girls feel when they are with these guys. If you see your weight as being an issue (and I'm sure you've heard this before) you could try looking at making a few lifestyle changes that can lead to shedding pounds. As for acne, (and again I'm sure you've heard this) you can try seeing a specialist to see if you can find a solution. But I think the two real issues at play are: your shyness, and self confidence. Perceptions about weight and beauty do take it's toll on your confidence, but that stuff is only skin deep. Do you love yourself?
  7. LostInMyThoughts
    Just kinda hang out for a bit, then approach her after class.
  8. LostInMyThoughts
    1. I'd say how long it takes for your self confidence to get back to normal levels. Age doesn't really play a factor. I think you'll be able to find somone at or around your desired age group, easily. 2. The best way is to start dating. You can try online sites, eharmony is probably the best because the participants are generally looking for long term relationships. Other ways are through church single groups, friends, or just by doing things (shopping, hiking, volunteer work etc). 3. Having a child can change things--maybe limit your options, but I think once you meet the right person, it won't matter. Especially if you are willing to consider women in similar situations. 4. After I got divorced, I got back into it, and started living my life again. The people who don't find love after divorce, do so because they choose not to. At least thats my opinion.
  9. LostInMyThoughts
    He could be shy. Why don't you ask him to another movie, but make it clear it's a date. And, you can feel free to put your arm around him, or, grab his arm and put it around you.
  10. LostInMyThoughts
    The smart money is to stay in school. However, there is a slim, slim, slim chance, that college isn't for you, and you should take this offer. The numbers show that a person with a college degree earns far more money than a person without. It's like night and day. Additionally if you end up not liking this job, chances are you'd have to find work that is near similar in order to maintain the same level of income. College grads have a far wider range of job opportunities. As for college social life, is that really what makes you want to drop out of school? You're only as old as you feel. This is how I'd look at your situation. 1) You'd be instantly popular because you're old enuff to buy alcohol. 2) You are waist deep in young college girls.
  11. LostInMyThoughts
    I usually use a finger, fully lubed. My nails are trimed too. Then when she gets okay with that, move to two, then three. Then when she is okay with that then I go for the full show. Doggie seems to be the easiest.
  12. LostInMyThoughts
    No, you wont be stuck being "tight" forever. After the first few times, sex will be less painful and that tightness feeling will go away.
  13. LostInMyThoughts
    i look for both.
  14. LostInMyThoughts
    Dating doesn't help with the lonliness I'm afraid (i've gone through a little bit of what you're enduring.) I say this will 100% sincerity: get some buddies together and head over to a strip club. Seriously, nothing helps the lonliness go way like a few well done lapdances. You don't want to make it a habit, just something to do to blow off some steam, get your confidence back,a nd feeel like a man.
  15. LostInMyThoughts
    There is always that fear of failure in the back of people's minds. I use to have nightmares about accidently not graduating from college. To answer your question; if realizing that if you succeed or fail doesn't negatively impact your life, makes it less stressful on yourself, then I think thats good.
  16. LostInMyThoughts
    It sounds like you already know what you need to do. It's probably time to end the relationship. Why do you stay with him?
  17. LostInMyThoughts
    Really? The cleanser that comes with Proactiv is a exfoliating scrub.
  18. LostInMyThoughts
    Thats just it, what makes you think it's your job to set him straight? Or not to pick on you, what job is it for ENA members to set him straight. He's not here to be set straight. He didn't ask us if he was being a jerk. WHy should he feel ashamed? If he's not happy, he's not happy. Would I do things differently? Absolutely, but it's not about me, or you, or anyone else. It's about the OP and his situation. I just take exception to this whole attitude where if you don't agree with an OP, you have to attack them by calling them selfish, or a jerk, or whatever. Get off your high horses. We don't know the full story, so we have no right to make judgements. ENA is suppose to be a supportive environment, where people can look for advice from others who might have delt with similar issues. Not one where we attack people when we disagree with them and what they're doing.
  19. LostInMyThoughts
    Hey brother, when it rains it pours. Right now I've suffering through some acne problems, and it really sucks. I know how much your looks can effect yourself confidence. While you're waiting for your proactive, I can give you a little bit of knowledge about how it work's, why it's generally successful, and how you can go about approximating it. Proactiv is a 3 part system. 1) A cleanser 2) A 2.5% Benzol Peroxide Toner 3) A "repair" lotion and moisturerizer contain 2.5% Benzol Peroxide. First the cleanser removes excess dirt, oil and dead sking from the skins surface. After that, the toner goes to work on killing the bacteria in the pores and near the pores surface. Finally, and this is the one thing that most people neglect, the moisturizer rehydrates the skin. When skin gets dry, it compensates by producing more oil, which in turn tends to block pores, which in turn causes more acne. So what can you do to while you wait do all three things with stuff you can find at a grocery story? Well take a trip to your local grocery store and pick up a few products. First a nice exfoliating face scrub. Something to help scrub away skin, but isn't too harsh. Clear and Clean Blackhead Remover Face Scrub is my personal choice, but I also love PHisoderm's heating face scrub. For toner, they're are plenty of options out there, but sadly I don't think many of them use 2.5% Benzol Peroxide. Instead they tend to use a 10% Salic Acid solution to kill the bacteria. While its not as effective, it works pretty well. I use PHisoderms Face Toner. Finally for moisturizers, you want something that is non-comogenic (sp). That is, something that doesn't clog pores. Cetophil is top rated, but it's expensive. I use Lubriderm, which is cheaper. To approximate the benzol peroxide, I add a little droplet of Oxy 10 into the moisturizer and apply to my face. You might find products with 10% benzol peroxide, but I recall reading that 2.5% is the most effective strength. Anything more just dries out skin. The key to proactiv and approxmiations is consistency. Doing this twice a day, will yeild good results for many people. It worked for me.
  20. LostInMyThoughts
    I don't think it's too soon. In fact I would call her today, and say "Would you like a little tour of (...) this saturday?" Assuming you're free. Why leave it up to her to call?
  21. LostInMyThoughts
    Oh my gosh. Who carese if you agree with the other posters. He didn't come here asking to be judged. Keep your judgements to yourself. They're not helping anyone. If he's moved on in his mind, no amount of belittling or namecalling is going to make him change. Whether or not it's a mistake, is not the issue. He didn't ask, he doesn't care. He wanted to know if this was normal response. Not to be called a jerk. While I'm sure his wife is going through hell, she's not the one asking for advice.
  22. LostInMyThoughts
    If she meets up with you again, it shows that she at least sees the potential of liking you. Obviously she doesn't DISLIKE you, but it may be too early to tell. Let her actions define if she likes you. Don't out right ask her, that would be weird. At least at this stage. Another unsolicited tip: be direct. Don't leave it up to her, or anyone else for that matter, to get in touch with you to hang out. Instead tell her you would like to meet up, give her time and date, etc. That way all she has to do is say yes or no. Dating is a hard way to meet new people. There is so much pressure involved, that it seems (to me anyway) like more work than is really necessary just to meet people to end up as friends.
  23. LostInMyThoughts
    NM, sorry I misread your post. Typically if a person is interested in meeting up again, they give some sign. However I don't think all is lost. If you have her number, give her a call, chat it up a little bit, then say something to the effect of "I really enjoyed meeting up with you for drinks, would you like to meet for (insert something) this (insert some day/time)?" If she says yes, you've got a pretty good shot. If not, well it sucks, but the world aint over till you say it is. As for being friends, if she's on a dating site, chances are she doesn't want to meet new friends, and chances are you don't either. I wouldn't worry about trying to convert her into being a friend. It's too early for her to have a real worthwhile opinion of you. And maybe next time when you go out, when you're wrapping the evening up, try saying something like "I had a lot of fun, we should do this again." If she's somewhat into you, she'll respond postively, and you'll feel much better about setting up the next date. If she's not into you, she'll probably have enuff class to let you down gently. Take the hint, thank her for the good evening, feel good that you've done more than most men out there, and call it a win.
  24. LostInMyThoughts
    I'm sure what you feel is normal. You obviously still have feelings for her, but she is shutting you out completely. What I don't understand is why do you seem so bothered by it? You're the one leaving her. I think your ex is right about the feelings fading after a while--No Contact will definitely help. Out of sight, out of mind, they say.
  25. LostInMyThoughts
    Hi Joe, It's possible that she's a liar. It's also possible that she's telling the truth, and it was just circumstances outside of her control. Regardless, I think you deserve better--at the very minimum a person who isn't a liar, or someone who's life isn't so turbulant that they are unable to make appointments and follow through with them. I say move on.
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