loveable_hippie

Hi everyone, I hope this doesn't sound silly but I need advice desperately. My family asks me for favors all the time and not small ones. The latest is that I was asked to watch my neice and nephew for 2 weeks (3 years old and 9 months old respectively). All of the family knows that if they don't let me think about a decision and make me decide right away, I will say yes and that is being used against me all the time. I understand that family is there to give a hand in time of need but i feel that it is too much for me right now, since I am in the middle of a very high risk pregnancy. I would like to tell everyone that it is getting too much, but I am afraid that they will get mad at me. I don't want to hurt anyone and I am afraid if I say anything, that it will make me look like I don't want to help anyone. I am also afraid that if I continue to take care of everyone else, I will put myself and my baby at risk. I thank everyone for any advice you have on how to say no without feeling bad or making it look like I am being rude. Thanks everyone.

Thanks everyone for the responses, BellaDonna yes we had a funeral and "Mass Of The Dead" For our first child. My Husband also got a tattoo of a cross and headstone in her memory. Durring the first pregnancy He was great he never missed an appointment and went to all the classes he even took over most of the household chores for me. I

Hi everyone I am 13 weeks into a high risk pregnancy I am high risk because my last one ended in still-birth at 36 weeks. When I first told my husband about the positive test he was thrilled, he wanted to tell the world right away and I thought he would be verry supportive, however i was wrong. He makes bogus excuses not to go to any of my Dr. appointments and refuses to talk about the baby. I understand that it is a scary situation and anyone would be nervous but i need his support and understanding. Does anyone have any ideas on how to get him to be more involved? He is my only support and i am feeling so alone right now. thanks for any help.

Thanks everyone for your input I did tell her about what I heard and she wasn't even shocked she told me that she had known for a while that he wasn't being fathful but just needed to hear it from someone else (A woman always knows). She went to see a lawyer today about a divorce and intends to sue for custody of their children (I might have to talk to a Judge about him cheating on her) but I'm willing to do that to help my sister. Again thanks to everyone

Hello all this site has helped me with many things so I hope someone can help me with this one. I know this will be long so bear with me. First I must give a little information...My Husband (Joe) and my sisters husband (John) work for the same company both as store managers. John has worked there for 2 years and Joe started there last month. Since my husband started there John has been terrible to him, turning him in to upper management for stupid things and things like that. Well last week Joe got upset to the point that he told John in no uncertain terms what he thought of him and they got into an argument about what has been going on. This has torn my family apart some are on Johns side some on Joes and neither side will talk to the other (the holidays should be fun this year). Yesterday I thought I would go to Johns Store and try to sort things out. As I was walking around the Store I heard John and one of his employees talking in the next aisle. John said to her "I told my wife that I am working overnight so I can stay with you tonight" then this woman who I don't know said "Great my period just ended so we can do anything you want" at that point I left the store without talking to him. Now I don't know what to do. If I tell my sister what I heard she might think I am just trying to start more trouble and that is if she talks to me at all. I don't feel right not telling her because I don't know if he is useing protection with this woman and he might get some disease, and I dont want her to find out from someone who dosen't know her and who may say it in a way that will hurt her more. I'm lost on this anyone got any ideas?

Hello everyone, I'm having trouble makeing a decition and hope someone can help. My story starts 8 weeks ago I was 36 weeks pregnant and my baby girl died because of fluid on her heart. I had a C-section to deliver her and she was burried a few days later. Now I want to try again to have another child but I'm afraid that the surgery site might not be completely healed. Can anyone tell me how long I should wait after a surgical birth to become pregnant again?

My Uncle has been telling me that i am not eating enough, and I look like i have lost a lot of weight. The problem is that i just don't feel hungry lately. I eat about every other day (something small half a sandwitch or so) and I feel fine physically but what he said really upset me. I am worried that he may tell the rest of my family since I have a history of eating disorders that I overcame years ago. The only thing i can think of is this may be caused by depression due to my daughters death last month. I am not worried about my weight or anything like that I just don't feel hungry. I don't see a problem with my eating habits but would appreciate any input.

Okay, I will try to explain everything that has happened but, I have to ask that you bear with me. My husband (Joe) and I go to the same bar every week. We have been going there since we started dating. We usually see his Ex, Patty and I don't mind talking with her and being friendly. In my opinion they had a relationship in the past and they both know that it is over, so we have all remained friends. Last week, I was not able to go out, so instead Joe took my Uncle (Bob) to the bar. When they got home they both told me what happened. They said that Patty had been hitting on Joe the entire evening. She kissed him on the mouth when he wasn't expecting it, tried to sit in his lap, and just wouldn't back off. Joe even told her that Bob was available and she wouldn't take the hint. Fast forward to this week. Joe and I went out with Bob again and this time she came up to us when we walked in. She said "hi" to Joe and gave him a hug but completely ignored me. I said hi to her and she walked away from me. The next day I went shopping at the store where Patty works. When I was done with my shopping and was looking for a checkout, she saw me coming and turned off her register and walked away. I wasn't going into her line anyway. So now I don't know what to do. I could talk to her but I don't want to make a scene, since the only place I run into her is at a bar and we all know how drunk people are so I don't want to embarrass myself. I could have Joe talk to her but he has tried and she ignores him. Or I could just leave it alone, but I don't want this to continue to happen. I know that Joe doesn't want anything more than friendship with her, but I still think her behavior is not appropriate. Anyone have any thoughts or opinions? I would love to hear (read) them.

Today is my Due Date and I am in an aweful state. No one has called me to see if I am okay. I thought that my family would at least call, my family knows today is going to be hard but I haven't heard from anyone. My husband even left the house before I woke up today he usually wakes me up just to say goodbye but I feel like everyone is trying to avoid me. It may sound selfish of me to expect them to say anything but I just need some support. I just needed to let this out.

I would tell him that you don't like it when he calls this girl Doll and ask him to stop but really unless it is going beond pet names there is no harm in it. How long has he known her? If they have been friends for a while and he has always called her this then mabe it is just habit and he does it without realising it, if that is the case it will be harder for him to stop.

Just a question how reliable is your birth control method? I ask only because when I got pregnant I didn't want to have sex again ever and because of the hormone changes vaginal dryness can make sex painful. If you are useing reliable birth control I wouldn't worry too much about pregnancy but it might be a concern just something to think about.

I only posted in this forum a few times so bear with me. My other posts have helped me just by giving me a way to let things out I'm hopeing this will do the same. On 9/12 I went to my OB-GYN for a checkup I was 36 weeks pregnant (about 8 months) when I got to the office the Doctor couldn't find the heartbeat of the baby. I was told that day that my daughter had died and I would have to go in to the hospital the next day to have a C-section. I had the surgery and burried my little girl 3 days later. She was named after my sister who I have looked up to all my life. It seems that everyone but me (even my husband) has gotten back to their lives, going to work, spending time with friends, things like that, I understand that eventually I will be able to live again but I am still so overcome with grief that I can't go to work or even talk on the phone. I feel like my family and closest friends have forgotten my beautiful baby. Does anyone have any advice on living my life again or at least not being angry with my family/friends for moveing on?

First, thanks to all who responded with kind words and advice. I had another hard night and wanted to get some things out. My husband found this site in my web historyand read my posts, that upset me because I feel like he is checking up on me. He said he is going to check our medical insurance today to see if councling will be covered. He says he doesn't want to go with me and he is handling things okay but he also says he wants to hurt these people because of all the pain they have put me through, he still doesn't know all the details of the abuse but I have told him some more of the story. I don't think he is handling it very well but it isn't my place to make him go with me if he doesn't want to so on that one I don't know what to do. I'm thinking of contacting one of my ex's just to see if I can find out why he was so horrible. I know that he may put me down or may just not answer me at all but I want to try, I think that if I had some reason I might be able to deal with it a little better and as long as I am ready to be put down again I can't see where it would hurt anything. Any input?

No I have never gotten therapy, because I am embarrased that i allowed this to happen to myself. I figured that in this faceless format i would feel more comfortable discussing this. Willow_Moon yes this happened at a young age and the men were only a few years older than me ( 17-20 years old) and you are right about my husband, we met and started seeing eachother right away we were married 17 months later. He knows the bare minimum about my past because it is just too hard for me to talk about I hope I have answered all your questions.

I was in a series of abusive relationships for 4 years before I met my husband. These relationships ranged from mild to extreme, mostly the abuse was physical but one of the men I was with also raped me and "gave me to his friends". I have been out of these type of relationships for almost 2 years, however I have started to have nightmares about these men. I wake up screaming "I'm sorry" and thrashing around, it takes me hours to calm down and get back to sleep. This has put a strain on my marrage and now my husband is asking more and more questions about my past. If anyone has any advice on stopping the nightmares and/or talking to my husband about my painful past I would love to hear it.