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Beaker78

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About Beaker78

  • Birthday 06/30/1978

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  1. i dont usally comment on these forums i am just a watcher and reader these days, I will say one thing though if u want him to know u still care then dont go completely NC as this will only make him think that you dont care about him and he may end up moving on because you are not contacting him. On a ball scratching front this is a typical male thing imagine having the hottest part of your body moving around on there own all day and getting all sweaty it needs a scratch now and again if just to move there postion. If as you say you are both afraid of commitment then this is probably why he is not sure if he wants to get married men are funny when it comes to thinking about taking that big step some are fine with it others want to run for the hills when its metioned, I have done this in the past when a women i am seeing mentions it. Then there was time when i really wanted to get married to one of my previous ex's so it could just be like some of the above say he might not know what he has lost till its gone.
  2. sounds like she is playing hard to get Take a step back and let her contact you.
  3. Ok i will answer your NC question. You Dont do it because you cant do it you have a child to this girl and she has asked you to be friends with her for the sake of your child your best option is to detach yourself from your feelings for her (Very hard when in love) and think about you kid cause he needs you to be there for him and so does she. To be honest if you want her back at all this is really the only option you have, spend time with them and try and create a family without the physical intimacy with your ex and then you can maybe take things from there but you have to remember that its really about you kid now and how you handle being a father because he will need you and so will she
  4. Friends can work but to be honest one of the 2 of you will allways want more than the other and will allways try to force the issue. On the other hand all relationships take some work and effort to make things happen and if you both want to work it out then it needs to be addressed at a level you are both happy with.
  5. well i have found that they do try and get in contact with you after a while i have several xs that i am still in contact with on a regular basis. What i have found though with my recent x is that i was doing all the contacting up until about a month ago when i decided to cut all contact. Then last week i met someone else and slept with her then got a bit full on scared her off and that was that Came into work on monday morning to find a IM from the recent X on my works pc saying hello and asking how i was doing. So yes they do contact u after a certain amount of time because they are interested in what you are doing. The X before my last X also contacted me at the weekend blaming me for her new cheating boyfriend that was quite funny and surreal also
  6. heah man its all good i have been doing it for a while too but it gets better i tell ya Go Nc for a little while and wait for her to contact U its allways the best thats what i have done I was still seeing my ex every few weeks when she would ask me to look after her cat whilst she was away visiting friends and then i thought "HEAH WHAT AM I DOING WHY AM I WASTING MY TIME" then i changed my number and never gave her the new one. I still think about her all the time but at least i know that i am in control of myself and am moving on with my life(even though i would have liked to be with her) and doing new things.
  7. Have u ever thought that maybe he just wants u in his life again as a partner instead of trying to be manipulative what i mean by that is that so many people are to quick to make judgements on one side of a story (yours) but only you can tell if he is being a jerk or is really trying to be genuine i mean the only person really that u can listen to is yourself and how you feel deep down! I aint telling you to go either way because only you can make that decision for yourself but from a male point of view (and someone who has split up with his ex for 3 mths) if i was in his position and thought that i had a chance i would be doing everything i could to get her back. Dont look at his words as being manipulative because if you look at it that way for one nice thing he says as being manipulative then you will look at it for all.
  8. Hmm well its a tough decision to make for u. Have you tried to talk to him about the way u feel regarding everything and how you feel about getting back together. have u even tried counseling i know u aint together but it might help u guys move forward slighty
  9. well its kinda a start, I really dont think that NC is the best option i know she aint came out and said that she wants to get back together now but she does still see a future so at least there is that But be very wary of what she has to say but to be honest in this case it looks like she is looking for some control so what i suggest is that you say YES lets go to the movies but you pick the film and end the night before she does and dont talk about getting back together before she does..... Or dont do nothing and let her stew some more
  10. I hate to say it man but she has given you her answer for now in a round about way she is saying she dont love you the same way she used to. In saying that i mean that she may love u but is not "IN LOVE" with u and man i feel for ya it sucks badly when they say that to ya but u will learn to live with it. I have been through this 3 times before the latest only 3 mths ago and everytime i thought this was the love of my life only to find that when i was not looking or thinking about getting into another relationship and fell in love and noticed that i did not feel the same about the last person that i was involved with. You will heal from this and meet new people
  11. Why not talk to him about it and take some time out to yourself and see if he can make an effort to change his life for the better...... You might find that some time apart may help the situation and he might get his butt in gear and make a go of his life(i got dumped 7 weeks ago and thats what it did for me).
  12. i think people are capable of change but only if they want to I KNOW. I am currently going through a change in my life because of a break up and i aint going to go back to the person i was before i split with my ex because that is who i do not want to be anymore..... I am 27 and i want my life to be fuller and more enjoyable. Break ups can do alot for a person but they have to be willing to put in the effort to do it in the end...... Dont get me wrong though i agree to a certain extent that sometimes people dont change they just make the effort for a little while (i did this the second time i split with my girl) but i then evaluated my life and were it was heading and decided i did not like it that way and want my future to be a great one........... it all depends on how you feel about the situation really i would suggest talking to him and seeing what things he will change and what kind of effort he is willing to make and always take it really slow and dont get carried away by the moment.........If you want to work it out you both need to express what you want each other to do to make things better..
  13. Thats the way i am looking at it totaly it sucks big time but i seen the errors of my ways and if and its a big if i get back together with her i will make it far greater relationship than it ever was before..... Theres also the saying "what does not kill you, will make you stronger".
  14. Well its been a month since i have split up with my girlfriend so i suppose i should start at the beginning of this year well we had been going out just over 2 years and in jan we split up for the first time but we had a holiday booked for amsterdam so we went on it and found love again and we got back together then in may we split again and again got back together and finally split up for good on august 21st..... ok so the reasons why we split is because i just could not get my a@* in gear and get myself a job i had been unemployed for the past 2 years and she was finacing us both(she is a teacher). Now on top of that i had been smoking alot of weed (which i dont anymore) i lost all motivation over the past 2 years or so and started playing alot of online games and ignoring and taking her for granted which i now regret and realise that it was the wrong thing to do.. Now we are not together i have been in NC for 2weeks to try and heal myself and have been doing alot of excercise to get myself fit and healthy and try and think about other things like my work and family life but again i keep beating myself up because this girl gave me undying love and i just threw it back in her face so many times i rekon it just made her sick to the stomach that i did try HARDER to change my lifestyle which i have done now that we are no longer together... i have been reading alot of the posts on here trying to understand why i did what i did and why i did not try harder and trying to get my head round the fact that i can no longer go round and see my ex and talk to her (allways the hardest part). The thing is i just dont see us getting back together because i made her feel bad and never really made the effort that i said i would. I also have the closer that i required (told me it was a weight of her shoulders) and i suppose why i am posting this is not for the reason i want advice allthough some would be good but as also a warning that you should never take anyone for granted and think they will stick by you through thick and thin...... Also we had been living together for most of our relationship due to her mother not wating her to stay at her house so i offered to let her ove into a flat that i had and then wemoved to another town and had our own flat and this is when i lost my job and then just never got a new one.... The thing is i dont actually blame her for what she has done because it has made me a better person and will probably make her a better person aswell but i just feel let down by myself because i had many chances to change and i threw it back in her face so many times....... anyways post your thoughts and i will tell you more about my situation...
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