lou_lou82

Thank you! It is helping me see others opinions. As a female in this situation, when a man tells you he loves you and has feelings for you repeatedly, you start think he actually means it, even in this situation. I would never say it just to say it, and that is why I never said it back to him.

Thank you, I plan to stay no contact. I guess my question should of been why would a man say those things if they didn't mean them? We were fine how we were so it wasn't like he had to say something just to keep me around.

Sorry this is so long!! I met this man a year ago. I just gotten out of a 9 year relationship and he was 2 years out of a 17 year relationship. He dated some but nothing serious. We got ourselves into a "situation ship" as you will, started as FWB. He stated a few times early on I just want you to know you can't fall in love with me I said I'll be fine and I am not looking for a relationship. So we hooked up for about 4 or 5 months and he randomly ask me if I was sleeping around and I said no, and he said he wasn't either and we agreed to only sleep with each other. Maybe a month or so later he would randomly ask me if I missed him. I would joke and be like of course I do. There was always a heavy physical attraction between us. About 7 months in we started actually hanging out after a deep conversation about life and our pasts, there was a connection on an emotional level after that. We would go out, meet up. I have met his closest friends and sister, he met my friends but never dinner or anything just drinks. He would come to my house and watch a movie or tv or vise versa. During sex one night he told me he loved me. I kinda blew it off because I figure it was just in the moment and he was drunk. He said it 2 other times after that, and his one good friend told me he said he loved me. I care for him deeply and someone I could eventually see a future with when I get my head right. He never said it again but one night he said we had amazing chemistry and he never felt that way about anyone since he left his ex of 17 years, yes we were drinking this night also but I very much agreed to that. Then he started telling me that he had feelings for me. Randomly while we would be out or just sitting on the couch. One day I asked him early in the day to hang out, never heard back from him. I am used to that, if we were busy we just didn't respond to each other. This day was different though, I got extreme anxiety I messaged him and said I was sorry if I did something wrong that he wasn't responding. He did finally call me the next day and said something very tragic happened to someone close to him and he had witnessed something no one should, and I won't state the exact situation on here, but my heart shattered for him.. After this we did start hanging out less like 2 times a week instead of 4-5, his doing not mine. Fast forward he kept saying he wanted to go away and spend a weekend together repeatedly. About 2 weeks ago after he said it again I looked up a place and sent a text saying I would like to go here with you when is good for you? He never responded, but messaged me the next day to hang out. Never spoke about the message. About a week ago he said he was going to visit his friend in another state and I lost it because he repeatedly would say he wanted to go away but ignored me when I asked him to and he said that him ignoring me was my answer. I asked why you would even ask me then? And then I asked what do you even want from this and he said that he only sees me as a friend. I asked why he told me that he loved me if I am only a friend and he said he never said that but he does care for me, thinking we would continue. I got up and left and told him to delete my number. I deleted him off all my socials and have been no contact. I am completely heartbroken, I now know cared more than I thought. It is driving me absolutely mad as to why he would say any of that stuff and then say he never said it because it did start putting things in my head. Did I miss my "chance"? Maybe the trauma he experienced has made him push me away? Just looking for opinions from people other than my friends. FYI he is not a bs'er and one of the most honest people I ever met before his last statement.