spiderwoman III

Thanks, Shadow Light. BeRealistic's response certainly was not very helpful to me. I did not come onto this forum to be judged, only for some guidance. Judging others and society only makes it pretty certain that someone will be judging you someday. Again, thanks.

Thanks to all of you. I am trying to walk away, but finding it hard. I actually called him twice-he was OK the first time, the second he was really cold. I really want to just be free of this. I miss him-I am sorry to say this. But after that last cold conversation yesterday, I am really seeing what an angry man he is.

Thanks DN . I have tried that. This man just holds something on me, I don't know what it is. He can be so sweet, and then such a mean SOB. How do I deal with this? I just feel awful. I do not know why he has this hold on me, and it scares me.

I really need to hear from someone who has experienced something like this. I am a married woman who initiated a friendship with a married man. It was always strictly platonic, but I grew to really love him. He always told me that we could only be friends. He has had a lot of unsuccessful relationships, and wants this current marriage to work. I might add he also has a bad temper and is very thin skinned. Anyhow, we really got to be good friends, meeting a few times a month to talk in public places, and e mailing and calling. But today on the phone he told me that he doesn't know if he wants to continue. I had given him a hug, and he thought that was crossing the line, and he got very angry. I know I should never got involved in this. What I need now is help. I feel so depressed. I don't think he will decide to continue this, and I feel awful thinking of us never being friends anymore.How do I continue on without calling him, etc.? How do I maintain my dignity and all?How do I move on? I feel so down on myself, like I just hate myself. Help!

Thanks everyone for all the advice. I think I will monitor the situation carefully. As we just talk about work, sports, stuff going on in the community, and not about us, I guess I am comfortable with it. I do really enjoy the guy perspective on things.Plus, he is a nice person with a great sense of humor. A really nice person to know. I do think about and value my husband a whole lot more than him, and hopefully he feels the same about his wife.

All this stuff about "emotional" really throws me, because all we ever talk about are things we are doing in our lives, work, how we are, etc. We never discuss deep stuff like feelings, etc. We do cheer each other up with kind words when one of us is down. Actually, I would kind of like to meet his wife. But, then, would she think it was strange that he did not mention me before? I think it would be nice to meet her because, obviously, she is an important part of his life, and he is my friend. But, like I said, my husband does not believe in male/female friendships, so it would not be possible for him to even meet this good friend of mine! Or, would it? It does feel sad to have a good friendship but be afraid to share it because of misunderstanding being a possibility. I wish at times I could bring it out in the open, and remain good friends with our spouses knowing about it.

I think it worries me because I never really had men friends before. I am 38 and got married at 20. I did not date a lot before I married. It always seemed like it would be so nice to have a close male friend. I have had many female friends, but never a close male one. I think I do not tell my husband because he does not think men and women can be friends.

Nothing has really changed between us in the two years. Like I said, no physical contact. That is why it does not worry me a lot. It's just great to have a male friend. But our spouses do not know. I'm not sure why. Maybe it is just something we do not want to share. But, like I said, it has never gone beyond this point. We just give each other a listening ear, an ego boost, etc.

I have been seeing a man as a friend for two years. We are both married to others, no kids. We meet on an average of every three weeks in public for coffee and talk. We email or leave voice messages to each other about four or five times a week.We have both noted that we think each other to be attractive. Our spouses do not know about this. There has never been any touching between us, and both of us want it to stay that way. Neither of us wants to jeprodize our marriages,and I know for pretty certain he would break it off if he thought it would jeprodize his. But I think both of us really look forward to hearing from one another, seeing one another. Is this an affair in any sense?