jonb

Oh yah not that it's important but, we were together for 3 years and 7 months...my longest relationship ever.

Hi, I just saw this board today while at work, while searching for answers, tidbits of advice and anything to give me hope..and I'm really glad I've found this message board, and especially glad I've found this thread - thanks SuperDave.. You see, my girlfriend whom i've loved, cared for and put my whole heart and sole into left me on the 16th of August (3 days ago). We lived together for a year, and had our ups and downs, but all in all it was the best time of my life. We were so happy, and I had flawless faith in our love for each other. We would always talk about our future together, and how beautiful our children will be. We shared so much together, and had so much in common.. I really feel or felt I guess, that she was the "one" for me. We had a fight on Monday, and usually we make up and move on..but we really hurt each other..and on Tuesday, she left. All in one day, she moved everything out of our house and just like that she was instantly gone out of my life - our life. I wrote her a letter telling her how sorry I was.. how I didn't want it to end this way, and how much I love her. When I gave it to her in person, she seemed really indifferent. Realizing she was gone really drove a stake through my heart.. and the last few days have been really hard. I contacted her on MSN, and I had a chance to tell her how I felt about her leaving me so coldly, and I respected her for telling me that it was because she needs time to herself. So far, I havent' had much hope in seeing past this pain, and the reality that we may not ever be together again. I know she still loves me, and I still love her... it's really hard to accept we're not together after all of this time and effort. Lately, all I have been doing is trying to keep my mind off her by surrounding myself with work, friends and family. I really do love her and wish she was a part of my life right now, but I'm going to try to take this advice from you, SuperDave. The last thing I want to do is push her away by saying stupid things to her, or by smothering her when she needs time. I think it's good advice, and if it'll help her realize what she's really missing out on, then I'm certainly willing. Plus, being so hurt right now, the last thing I want to do is set myself up for disappointment by calling her, only to hear she doesn't want to talk. I can't help but think that losing her was entirely my fault.. that if I didn't lose my temper when we were fighting, she would still be with me. I know it wasn't entirely my fault, but it's so easy to blame yourself when you think about things you could've done differently and when you're feeling so down in the dumps This is going to be really hard. She really meant the world to me.. Here's to day 1 of NC. Wish me luck. Thanks