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NS8848

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  1. Being the only child I had never experienced such thing when you see your parents involved with your cousin more than you. My mom's brother is abroad and he left his son here with us. I don't really have anything against him and I really love this child but ever since he came to live with us I felt distinct from my family and felt like my mom didn't love me because she really loves but because I'm her child and that she must. He has blended really well in our family which is a great thing but not really. My parents don't seem to talk to me anymore except for some important things like lunch, dinner, school and stuffs. They feel comfortable leaving the house with my cousin without considering me. But the main thing here is my mother. My mother hasn't really been much of a speaker when it comes to me. She barely talks to me when we're alone but she smiles and socializes with others. But I always feel hurt when I see my mom cherishing my cousin. He really is a lovely child and does enlightens the mood but all I wished was for my mom to consider me as well. I know that my mom has been through a lot when I was young. My mother claims that living with my dad's side of family was like hell to her (she used to share her past story occasionally). Considering how she always talks about her and my dad's sacrifices for me, I should've felt more motivated to do something meaningful but it has made me feel like my existence was like a burden to them as of fact that we aren't really well off. For the record, I have never heard my mom praise me. Even if there were it wouldn't cross more than 5 times that I know of, but she praises my cousin like every single day. You can't really accuse me here saying I'm a bad sister because I have more that one cousin from my mother's side of family itself but I have never seen her so determined to take care of kids, she evens once said that she somehow feels some kind of attachment with my cousin(which she probably doesn't feel with me). Now that it's been months he's staying with us, I can't seem to keep up with reality anymore. When I stay in living room I feel unwanted witnessing unfair treatment and when I stay in my room my dad gets angry saying I spend too much time in my gadgets and not study. I have no idea what I'm supposed to do anymore. I know my mom loves my but how much is it really. Is it worth saying that she loves me that much that she risked her life giving birth to me?
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