Beargirl201

Okay so just to update you all, I’m with him now and he didn’t seem nervous or anxious about me visiting at all, and he introduced me to some of his other class friends as well as this girl as his girlfriend. And he actually didn’t seem uncomfortable about me meeting her. The girl was kind of mean to me though and made a few backhanded comments towards his and my relationship, which was a little uncomfortable. Me and him have agreed to have a long conversation later just to get it out in the open, so I’ll let you know how it goes. 💛

I’m really sorry that happened to you, and thank you so much for sharing and your advice! I really appreciate it! ❤️

That’s a good point. Honestly I’ve never been in a long term relationship before and I don’t really have any parental figures to talk to about this, so all this advice is really helpful, I appreciate it! And we had a long video call and he said he wouldn’t hang out with this girl anymore because ‘I was more important to him’ and he understood why it made me uncomfortable. And he gave me the girl’s name and her Instagram so I could know who she was. I think visiting him and just seeing how things go is the next step x

Thank you so much for your advice, this is really helpful and has given me a lot to think about. I don’t want to be the only one making compromises in the relationship so I’ll definitely tell him that I feel uncomfortable and my point of view, and if he does push back and wants me to do all of the work then I think ending the relationship would be better for the both of us moving forward.

We decided that I’d go down to visit him tomorrow actually. And I do agree with you, I definitely think he has a crush on her. If he doesn’t act on it, I think we may be able to work though it though.

Hey! I just wanted to let you all know that me and my boyfriend had a very long and calm conversation, and he seemed really sincere and apologetic about the situation. He told me he didn’t like this girl romantically and I’m not totally sure if I believe him if I’m honest. But he wants me to go and stay with him for a while. I think I might give him a chance, but I also may just be being naive. What do you all think? x

That makes a lot of sense, thank you so much. I’ll definitely keep that in mind.

Be careful, he’s probably lying to both of you if he was capable of lying to this other girl. If you think maybe there’s a miscommunication, are you able to speak to this girl privately? To maybe get all the sides of the story, maybe she’s being played too. But overall honesty and trust are the most important things, and if he doesn’t give you that then you deserve so much better.

Yeah you’re totally right! I’m thinking of maybe just straight up asking him if he likes her, honesty is the most important thing for me and if I can’t trust him then this relationship probably isn’t going to work out anyway. I just feel sad now because I really loved him. Thanks for your advice!

You’re right. And he keeps delaying me visiting him which is obviously not a good sign. We’ve been together a while and everything was going really good up until now so it’s quite hard to accept that he may be doing this but I will definitely talk to him today. Thank you.

Me too! And I was genuinely really unbothered when he told me he made friends with her but it just seems like they’re spending all of their time together. And he’s never mentioned that he’s told her about me or anything. And I didn’t want it to seem like I didn’t trust him but I’ve asked for stuff like her name and whether she’s single but he always says that she’s just “a girl that lives nextdoor” and that he doesn’t really know her well, which is strange because he mentions that they are spending time together nearly every day. It’s just really confusing me. I’ve never had any issues with trusting him before and up until this everything was going great. But we do video call and voice call for hours pretty much every night, but the fact that he keeps delaying me visiting him makes me really uncomfortable.

I’m 22 and he’s 23 and we’ve been together for around 8 months. And yes, he has had a long term relationship before, which he was in for around a year. He’s going to be away for just over three months. He hasn’t mentioned any other friends and it seems like they spend almost all day together. And we do voice call almost everyday, and things were going really good with us until this. But the thing that’s really bothering me is how he keeps delaying me visiting him 😕

Yeah sorry for not specifying! and he tells me stuff like “I’ve just been hanging out with my neighbour all day” and how she’s really nice and pretty but he won’t tell me her name, age or any actual details about her. but you’re right, I should just talk to him straight about it.

Hi! Well my boyfriend moved away for a few months because of this education opportunity and in all of his messages he talks about how amazing his new neighbour is, and they are spending a lot of time alone together and going on trips and stuff. And other than compliments about her, he won’t tell me anything about who she is. I don’t want him to think I don’t trust him, but I feel awful everytime he talks about how perfect she is. Am I too insecure? 😞