baybyro23

Yeah he said it’s common to have the first dinner in the house only with the housemates. I get that but, I don’t care if it’s tradition, this particular girl made me feel unsafe he couldn’t put the d*mn tradition aside for that? I feel angry. I feel jealous as well because she’s really pretty too. When he came over he looked at me and said “this is 100% your fault, if you hadn’t treated me that way we would still be together” and he went on to say it was the fest that I was rude to him and “”controlling”” (?) rather than just voicing how I felt uncomfortable. He said “you should feel happy for me that I’m enjoying dinner instead you’re there wondering if I’m cheating on you or doing something shady” And in his mind it’s absurd I don’t like them having dinner together because they’re just friends I apologized and begged and cried because really, I do NOT want to be a controlling girlfriend, this is not whom I am to be as woman entering her 30s. That said, I also never felt comfortable with the housemate situation and I think we agreed to disagree that he could’ve have invited me over that night or at least understood why I blew up at him after the dinner, but he told me that killed any feelings he had for me so really there wasn’t much I could do. This is really confusing because it could go both ways. I can be seen as totally jealous and freaky and he could be seen as a jerk. It’s hard to move on because I keep dwelling on the “what if I had kept my cool?” he would’ve never left me… and then I have to “learn” for the next relationship when he was everything I wanted

Only two months dating the moving had been set up prior to us dating. We have known each other for almost 8 months though. I tried being the Chill GF because I’ve been very jealous in the past unreasonably and hurt a few ex partners. Me in the past would’ve FLIPPED of knowing any girl is near my boyfriend let alone him living with one. I think I’ve come a long way, understanding I can’t control the other and relationship is based on trust. That said, I still think some scenarios aren’t appropriate for people to be in if they’re in a relationship with another. And I think that’s where it hurt. When he told me he wouldn’t be able to cut down the quality time he spent with her in order to make me feel better. And that’s when we agreed to disagree and he moved on

I asked him that I hated the fact that he cooked dinner for her while he never cooked for me and the fact that he stopped replying me (we were chatting via text) and went MIA until I called him. Also asked why he didn’t pick up the first time and ran to his room to answer the video chat. He then said “what? I’m done with this, I don’t owe you anything and I can do whatever I want, I’m done with this” and from that point on it was just a complete sh*t show Yes I understand this can come off as controlling but Is never act like that when he was with friends family or alone… it was just this girl in particular that made me so uncomfortable

Boyfriend (now ex) moved in with a girl (super hot) who he used to have a crush on years ago but no longer does. I told him it made me uncomfortable but it was ok, with time, that feeling would go away and I asked him to be patient with me. And so he was. But we had a few issues in terms of what we found acceptable in a relationship, so we did have a few disagreements but had only argued once about it. We’re both 28 but decided to post here because honestly I am at an age where I wouldn’t mind settling and finding a partner for life (I thought it would be him) Where I live it’s common to live with opposite sex flatmates so I was trying to warm up to the idea and also understand this friendship dynamic. He had already sorted the move BEFORE we met each other and he made it clear they were just friends and he has felt nothing for her for years, always cheering me up, he had been supportive in general of my feelings (I want to be impartial and tell the story like it is). He doesn’t have a history of cheating and we’ve always had pretty good communication (or so I thought..) But one night he was having dinner with her and he went and bought pasta, wine and he has never cooked for me before and I felt really bad but didn't say anything to him. But when they were having dinner, he didn't reply to me and he knew I was home alone so it made me jealous. I called him and told him I'm not okay with that but by that time I was really angry and was a bit rude to him and he broke up with me due to my “reaction”. I apologized and explained myself but he told me he felt nothing for me anymore and that the "sweet girl" image he had of me was gone. I told him that it was the first time I got really upset over something that he would reconsider his decision, but he left me. I begged and pleaded and did all those silly things obviously nothing worked so I asked if we could at least talk in person and after a few days he came over. When we talked in person about our break up, I asked him if I could have joined them for dinner or having wine with some time, them he said absolutely not, that I wasn't welcomed and this was a moment between the two of them. I felt really hurt hearing this as if it were the other way around, I'd definitely want my SO there or at least wouldn't have replied in that way. To me, it's different than being out with "the boys" or spending time in a group of friends. When I asked him if she was more important to him than I was he said "absolutely" and you don't get to tell me what I do and I don't with my friends. And I told him that I really don't, but it would be nice to have some sort of reassurance when I'm still getting used to the idea of him moving in with this girl. I've never been through a similar situation before so it was really mentally hard. Not saying he would physically cheat on me, but that kind of dynamic leaves space for creating a bigger intimacy that in my point of view should happen between your partner and you. I never asked him to stop being friends with her or move out. He broke up with me saying it was 100% my fault because I overreacted to which I explained to him it’s been an ongoing issue for me as I’m struggling to be ok with it but at the same time I had never acted that way before, I just got really annoyed at that moment, but I think every relationship there's something you can learn, even when I was in abusive relationships on the other side, I still learnt. I am frustrated as this is really eating my brain alive because apart from that, we got along great, he was the best to me and I was really nice to him as well, we had good communication, looked after each other, laughed at lot, like legit the best relationship I've ever had because it was so organic and natural, and he would also tell me he felt the same so it's still really fresh. I've spoken to several people telling both sides of the story and most agreed they'd be hurt too in my position but I want some outside perspective too. Truth of matter is, I am REALLY struggling with this. It was a short relationship and it is hurting so much more than my longer ones. I want to crawl into a hole and not come out. PS: please don't be mean, this has been really tough on me :(