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sunnydaze8

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  1. By strict no contact, I’m saying I have not spoken to him once since the day he dumped me.
  2. My (F,26) ex (M,24) dumped me back in July for coldly and harshly. He was so mean about it. We were together for two years. Come to find out he was cheating on me. He never told me that in the end but instead made a bunch of excuses and was just really mean to me. 2 weeks after dumping me he immediately got with someone else - a girl who used to shoot up heroin, has assault charges on her for beating up her boyfriends, etc. I went full no contact from the start. No begging, no pleading, no calls, no texts, nothing. Last Wednesday, at around noon after 3 months from the breakup he texted me and asked, “Sorry to ask but do you happen to have any of my carrhart sweatshirts?” And the weekend prior to this, all of our mutual friends had a bonfire and my name got brought up - I guess he was being super anti-social at the bonfire and when I got brought up he quickly made an exit after that. I don’t even know what to say. And after 3 months, why is he contacting me about his sweatshirts? I have not responded and I do not have any of his stuff.
  3. It’s just the fact he lied to me, straight to my face. If I would’ve done that to him, all hell would’ve broken loose.
  4. 3 weeks ago my (F,26) ex (M,24) dumped me after a fight/out of the blue after two years. None of his reasons really made sense - he was talking a lot about money which we never fought about so I found it odd. He was so cold and nasty during the breakup. I noticed the last couple of weeks he was being distant, spending a lot of time at his friends house, etc. All he kept saying was, "that's fine but I'm done" and "I'm tired of fighting about the same thing over and over." After trying to talk to him for an hour he ended up getting really mean and talking down to me. I haven't spoken to him since that day. He has this certain ex (F,24) that he was on and off with for a long time. They would cheat on each other, she cheated on him with his best friend, she even sent half nudes to his step-dad and he STILL would take her back. It was weird but he assured me he was with me for me and didn't want her. On May 15th of this year I heard his phone go off and looked and saw a Snapchat from a red headed girl. I asked, "who is this?" He immediately got defensive and told me it was one of his childhood best friends that he grew up with and that he was not going to block her because "I was not going to take another friend away from him." He stated that if I was going to keep going on about it that I could pack my stuff and leave. I stayed (stupidly). I even told him that it made me insecure about two weeks later and he said, "I don't even want to talk to her anymore." His step-dad also told me the day before my ex dumped me he was snap-chatting this red-headed girl. Today I woke up and had a strange feeling to seek out this ex's snapchat. No rhyme or reason and when I did, the same red-headed emoji/avatar popped up. It was/is his ex. I immediately started shaking. Then I remembered, this ex recently was diagnosed which HPV. I can confirm that, do not ask me how I know. I need to go get tested and I also don't know whether to confront him or not. I'm very involved with his family as his cousin is my best friend. I haven't told her. His ex also has a long-term boyfriend and there's no way he knows as I'm sure he wouldn't be cool with her snapping my ex boyfriend. I want to confront him and tell him what I know, that he got caught and then another part of me wants to stay silent and not make a fuss because what will confronting really do for me? I never pictured him as one to cheat - as he and I had so many talks about what that felt like and he was so controlling over other men talking to me, where I was, even if his step-dad was talking to me weird. Tl;dr: My ex dumped me 3 weeks ago and at the time a lot of his reasons didn't make sense. Today I put the puzzle pieces together that he was snap-chatting his ex back in May to possibly now. This ex of his also has HPV and a boyfriend. I don't know whether to confront my ex or leave it alone.
  5. This is going to be long so I'm sorry about that. My (F,26) ex (M,24) dumped me about a week ago. we were together for two years. It was pretty out of the blue with a long list of excuses in regards to money. He was upset about me going to a concert and ignored me for two days. We've had a fight about spending time with one another lately. He likes to go to his friends and play video games for days at a time and I felt sort of left out/put on the back burner. He would say things to me like, "you don't need to come over the second I come home from work" (I wouldn't see him all week because he works out of state) and he would say, "I don't need to see you every second of every weekend." It was hurtful in hindsight. The latest line was that he wouldn't have plans for the weekend but I couldn't come around. It's been beyond hurtful. When he dumped me he talked a lot about money. How I can go get my nails and hair done, how I can spend money on concert tickets (tickets I bought for my mom and I to spend some time together), and how he hasn't taken me on dates because he's trying to save money but he just got a large promotion at work, etc. It was hurtful. I asked, "what about your family?" and he said, "I don't care, I'll tell them it was my fault I don't care." And he said, "you can still go around them, I don't care." He was stone cold during the entire thing, I have never seen him like that. I have not talked to him since and nor plan to. I called my now ex's dad immediately after as I just needed advice and didn't know who to talk to. His stepdad is more of a friend than a father figure with his young age. My ex's biological mom and the stepdad aren't together anymore - my ex lives with his stepdad. We talked for an hour about what happened. He told me that he didn't know my ex was dumping me that weekend and he was acting totally normal. He told me he would try to talk to him about it. That following Monday, his stepdad reached out to have me come over which I've been to their house many times so I didn't find it weird. We ended up talking for four hours. He told me that he ended up telling my ex we talked. I panicked as I didn't know what his reaction would be. Apparently my ex said, "good she needs someone to talk to." Which I found odd. The stepdad asked him if he and myself would ever get back together, my ex said no and my ex stated we're just not compatible. The stepdad has told me this story many times of my ex that my ex has approached him and said he "just doesn't know how to love, he knows he loves me (aka the stepdad) but doesn't know what it feels like beyond that." The stepdad has told me this story multiple times like I said throughout our dating. The stepdad has also told me, "you know I've told him when it comes to you to either *** or get off the pot, if he wants something with you to not drag this out or string you along." Which I thought was sort of.. intrusive. My ex is pretty avoidant and this was his first real relationship. Which doesn't seem right to me, it seems that the stepdad has been planting seeds in my ex's mind. The stepdad has told me while in the relationship and these past two times I've seen him, "you know if I had a girlfriend like you I would lock you down so quick. You're perfect. I wish I had a girlfriend like you." Which I took as a sweet compliment at first but as time goes by it makes me uneasy. The stepdad has a track record of being with younger women. He has made out with my ex's best friends girlfriend, is currently sleeping with a married woman, is currently sleeping with a 25 year old, has talked to my ex's ex and found half nudes of her on his phone, and has made these comments towards me. My now ex never trusted him around me knowing how he is. I asked the stepdad out to dinner today to see if he had talked to my ex more (not smart I know, I will stop doing this). Apparently my ex said, "I'm glad you're helping her (me) out." Which I find so unlike my ex. As the conversation went on he was really pressing me to move on and just let it go. Sure, I agree. He was really pressing me to move on but also at the same time saying I could come around the family still and if I wanted to come over and use the pool I could because I'm his (stepdad's) friend. My friend pointed out, you know moving on entails not talking to anyone in the family including the stepdad. Also, I cannot believe for one second that my ex said these things and that he's glad I'm talking to his stepdad and his stepdad is talking to me. My ex would be pissed if I talked to my friends about our problems when we were together. Before I left today, the stepdad said to me, "well I care about you and I make time for you, I could've had anybody over and I chose to spend time with you." I feel like the stepdad is saying things to me and my ex to keep us separated. He keeps beating into my head that my ex doesn’t care about me or else he’s be with me which is true. He also says my ex is really ***ed up and “you don’t want someone like that.” Or he's not saying things to my ex at all, which he's not obligated to but in one breath he's saying my ex is happy I'm talking to his stepdad but in the next he's saying I need to move on. I don't believe the comments my ex made to be true about being glad that I'm talking to his stepdad. I feel like my ex may have had doubts in our relationship and instead of his stepdad suggesting to talk to me, he planted more seeds of doubt in his mind to make him uneasy about the relationship - thus the harsh, cold dumping. Especially with the stringing along comment. I feel like the stepdad pushed my ex to dump me so he could get at me. I feel like the stepdad is preying on my heartache and vulnerable nature. I feel like he's trying to get me to sleep with him. I feel like he is an opportunist an saw and opportunity. I could be reading this all wrong but something about this is so off and it's starting to make so much sense. I am now scared I'll be blackmailed eventually by the stepdad. Or he will say something to my ex and my ex will think I am pursuing his stepdad. I considered reaching out to my ex about the situation but thought it would be more drama and he probably wouldn't believe me, I'm not sure. All in all, I know I need to not talk to his stepdad again but I feel like the damage is done and something will slip out. I’m scared the stepdad is going to tell my ex that I’ve been trying to come onto him and turn it around on me. TL;DR: My (F,26) ex (M,24) dumped me a week ago. I've been confiding in his stepdad (M,37) to get some clarification on the situation and the more I find out the more I feel he is purposely keeping my ex and I separated in attempts to sleep with me and prey on my young age and vulnerability. He has a track record of doing so.
  6. Yeah you’re right. The worst thing I can do right now is infiltrate his life and his family and even his friends. I already took myself off social media. I kind of just want to be dead to the world for the next 6 months.
  7. Yeah you’re right, that was towards the end when I knew this was really it. I got scared and desperate. Just living a life without him.
  8. I would be crushed. I said to him, “what am I supposed to do when you move on?” And he coldly stared at me and said, “you’re not guilt tripping me into this.”
  9. Pretty much over the last 2 weeks I’ve noticed he’s been distant and brushing me off. This week I even said to one of my friends that I’ve felt more in love with him than I ever have and then this. I haven’t talked to him. I don’t plan on it.
  10. I thought of that too, if there was someone else. I’m not sure, I didn’t ask. Maybe that’s why I figured he deleted me off socials so quickly. I asked if we could still be friends and he said, “no because I’ll sabotage any chance you have of moving on.” And I don’t know if he meant that I’ll be too hung up on him or he will not be able to handle it himself.
  11. I talked to his dad after, his family and I are close. His dad talked to him I guess and got back to me and said the best thing I can do is give him space. I asked him if the conversation went bad. His dad said, “He's confused your best bet is too give him space. If you want to help him.”
  12. I was just amazed how fast it all came crashing down. Literally Tuesday I sent him this messaged about how much I noticed his hard work, and appreciated his love and support and he replied, “how a relationship should be ❤️‍🔥” and 4 days later.. we’re done.
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