Hello, so this girl and I have known each other for 10 years and we’ve been friends with benefits for the past 3 years (on and off). Recently we were in a good part of our “friends with benefitship?” I guess you’d call it, and she brought up to me for the first time how she would eventually want to be exclusive with me, I agreed that I would want to be exclusive as well. Two days after that talk, she invited me to an event with her family, it went very well and she was very affectionate towards me, even in front of her family and I was affectionate back. The night after that, she called me and asked how my day was and that was it, typically she’d stay on the phone for a while at night, roughly an hour at least. We got off the phone after 2-3 minutes, it was 9pm and usually we go to bed around 1am, so I got insecure about that, (why did she hang up so early? Is she talking to another guy? Etc) and so I called her back asking if we were exclusively hooking up (I know, I ***ed up there) and she basically said no and said we should be honest and get tested before we hook up. I then asked asked her “so what was all that exclusivity talk about then?” And she paused and answered with “well I’ve been thinking about it”.. I got butthurt and emotional about it and made an ass out of myself. I thought she wanted exclusivity, I mean, if she did, she changed her mind in 2 days. I then said out of emotional weakness that we should take a break and not talk to see how we feel later on, I know, dumb, I asked her what she thought about that, she had a long pause and said “can I have time to think about it?” I said yes of course and she ended the call with “thanks, I appreciate it…” I texted her after that call saying I don’t want confusion and don’t want to waste my time or hers..
the next day, I realized the stupid *** I said, I didn’t know what I was thinking, so I called her twice 5 hours apart and no answer or call back, I just wanted to apologize about the night before. After the whole day passed, still nothing, I got weak again and text her in the late evening saying “I guess we aren’t going to talk anymore. sorry for how things turned out, take care of yourself.” And I still haven’t heard from her, it’s been 3 days.
I know what I did was ***ing stupid and I was just being emotional. She still has me on social media, if that means anything? She still watches my posts. I really like her but not sure what I should do, should I block her on everything?
Did I completely *** this up?