Hi,
I am really stuck in this situation and I haven't had much in the way of dating experience so here goes.
I have known this guy at work for 5 years. I used to work for him but after I changed jobs 4 years ago he has been behaving "weirdly", so my best friend says.
I returned to the building when COVID restrictions had eased and on my first day I set up my new desk (I started my new role on the day I returned to the office) which was around the corner from his. This was the discussion I heard between him and one of his direct reports, whom I will talk to in passing:
Him: (my name) has just posted herself around the corner from us!
Direct report (my name)?
Him: Yeah, (my name)!!! (said more excitedly)
I frowned to myself and thought, "OK, that's a bit weird." Not just because he said this in a work environment but he is someone that is normally quiet and private and doesn't let his emotions show that easily, especially positive ones. I thought I'd better not read into it, but I told my best friend later who said it seemed "creepy".
For the subsequent weeks and months (this guy doesn't come into the office every day, just now and then when he's required so he primarily works from home), one time I was on my own I saw him out of the corner of my eye slowly walking over to me (I am guessing to talk?) but then two women came from the other end of the corridor and he quickly pulled away from me without stopping to talk to them. That same day before two of his team left he was heard to ask one of them "Does (my name) usually take breaks on her own out there? I was going to talk to her."
It's been noted by others that he has been trying to get hold of my contact details (mostly my phone number) and the department I work for. He won't go as far as contact me remotely.
A couple of weeks ago I was in email contact with another one of his direct reports for something work related and he was copied in on the email. He didn't communicate with me at all, but I overheard her friend talking to his sister (who also reports to him) and the friend you can hear all through the office, say "he actually went out of his way to find out where (my name) works?" and his sister said "yeah, because no one would tell him anything."
He doesn't smile that often but lately he will give me small, shy smiles around me, ones that make his eyes look softer and bigger. I would like to talk to him, but he is so work focused and is not a conversationalist unless it relates to the job or company.
I would like to think he is a decent guy. He used to help me when I worked with him, he's very direct and not afraid to speak his mind and he is very intelligent. What is stopping me, is my own introversion and from what others are implying - that he is bad news.
A very good friend I speak to at work thinks the opposite and says "oh he's just socially awkward. He's a big, bald, lumbering guy who looks like a brute and is the most socially clunky person ever. If I were you I would just talk to him." But it's a case of speaking to him when he is at his most comfortable which is when he and I are alone. And I don't even think he is comfortable with me approaching him because I would feel like I am overstepping boundaries with him.
Any ways to go about this are appreciated, thanks 🙂
