Alabella

I am a university teacher and I have recently fell in love with a student 20-year-old young man). He is not my student, I 've never taught him and never will. I fell in love with him when I did not know that he was a student and then to my great surprise i saw him in the hall of university. I fact i live in Russia. We do not have any regulations about faculty-students relationships. There are a lot of cases when university professors both male and felmale (male more often) have intimite relations with students. There are thousands of couples, former students and teachers. There was a lot of fuss about a university in California where any close relationships between students and teachers are banned. The Russians do not take these things seriously. I studied a lot of issues about the laws regulating teacher-student relationships. The authors of the rules are mostly concerned with unfair assessement of the student's knowledge by a professor who with the student is having sexual relashions. But it is a desputable question. Assessement is a very difficult and relative thing. The good and fair assessement requires not only the cold heart (which is very difficult, because you always develope likeness to some students and dislike to others because a teacher is just a human being and is emotional, he /she is not a machine), but also experience in assessement (which comes only after a few at least years of teaching ),as well as natural objectiveness and intellegence, kindness and love and BEING IN GOOD MOOD is also VERY important. What is the difference between excelent and good mark? Good and satisfactory mark? Satisfactory and not satisfactory? After having taken the exam we, examinators, usually discuss and even argue about what mark to give to a student. For example good and satisfactory marks are very very difficult to distinguish. Of course if you ask me what mark would I put to the student I fell in love with (if he was my student), the answer would be 'excelent' of course or whatever he wants. But at the same time i understand that I will not be objective to my friend's daughter or my accuaintance, or just a nice student (even female) either. I can give them better marks than they deserve. As far as my love is concerned........From the first moment I understood that i am in love and that he is a student I told myself that nothing matters for me except the pleasure of seeing him.

My husband's attitude to me changed greatly after our child was born. He has always been impatient, unballanced and moody, but in the beginning of our relationships( either i was head over heels in love with him ready to forgive everything or he was less insulting or both) it did not matter much. I can give you some examples of his behaviour that seem appalling to me. It is a normal thing for him to come home after work and to shout at me calling me names, usually the reason is that he is not satisfied with the way i cooked something or washed something. The greatest problem is that now when the boy is four, he imitates my husband's manner and immediately starts shouting at me something unclear just to be like his father. It really frightens me. One more example. It happened last year, and after this i stopped loving him, and I think that it is for good.We were spending our holiday in a village in the mountains at the seaside. He wanted to have a rest and relax the same way as he did when he was single and young. He got drunk every day (he is not an alcoholic), swam far and dove in this condition. I protested and asked him to stop behaving like this. When he got tired of my demands he took all the money from me and said that he would not give it back to me unless I drop the idea to teach him how to relax. Then we were climbing the steep hill to the village we stayed in. He was drunk and was making our son (2years and 10 months old then) climb (still in Russia he had insisted on not taking the pram and promised to carry our boy). The little one was weeping and asking me to take him. It was a difficult climb for me even without a child in my arms, so I could only walk several steps and it was a long way up. My husband quickened his steps, and when i asked him to help,he told me to put our son down and let him go by himself. I lost my temper (I am usually very tolerant and calm, which ,of course, helps me in my work) and promised him that i would never be dependent on him. Never in my life! And he hit me in the face, so I came to the village with a big black eye and was deeply ashamed. What is more, when I try to discuss his behaviour with him, he does not seem to repent, he says that it is nothing and i should thank God that i dont live with an alcoholic or drug addict, and that i have all the possibility to die in a gutter if divorce every husband I 've had (It is my second marrige, i didnt have chidren with the first husband). Nevertheless, like all people he has positive features as well, he works, earns money, he is generous and I think he loves his son more than any person in his life. So I think he would miss his son very much in case of divorce.

Hello! Please, help me to solve my problem. I fell in love with a young man who is 10 years younger that i am (he is 20 and I am 30). What's more I am married and have a son (4years old), and i am a teacher at the university where he studies. You see, my husband does not love me any more, sometimes he behaves like a beast. Although he treats me badly, he loves our child. Olga.