I was with my ex for 3 years, 1st was fantastic although he was recently out of a toxic relationship, we got on like a house on fire and literally never argued and were best friends and lived together.
2nd year lockdown hit I struggled mentally and he started a new job further away from home and took up all of his time. We started to bicker and arguments were becoming regular. I felt very unsupported and we lost out intimacy. I moved back to my parents (we had a two week break) and tried to work on our relationship again. He then got caught speeding on his bike and had a very prolonged court date (10 months, due to covid) where the probability was he should have lost his license but after all that he didn’t. He really struggled on this and his main focus was work as he believed his whole life was going to change (he’d have to move to where his job was based and worried about paying for a mortgage and renting elsewhere) I completely understood and tried so hard to be supportive through this. He never wanted to talk about our relationship, I saw him once a week, and at one point he told me he didn’t have time for a relationship but we still tried.
3rd year has been awful, he lost his job (which surprisingly it didn’t freak him out) and felt like the best thing for him at the time and I supported him in whatever he wanted to do. He’s now started a new job and things still haven’t changed. 6 months ago I had the awful news that my dad had been diagnosed with Motor Neurone Disease, I thought that this would mean he would step up and help me through the hardest time of my life however that’s not been the case. He was even more distance and never asked how I was or the family. Over the last couple of months, every time I mentioned our relationship or how I’m feeling he would flip/start an argument and then not talk to me for days. Last weekend he went on a lads holiday to Ibiza with his old work lot (majority 20yr olds and he’s 35) and I noticed that he had some new followers on Instagram so being nosey I saw that this particular girl was in Ibiza at the same time. I slept on it and had a pit in my stomach that I couldn’t shake so I went back onto her profile and this time (he’s back in the UK at this point) he had liked 3 of her bikini pictures from a few days ago. I’m not annoyed he’s following her but it’s the fact he’s gone back onto her page when he’s back and then liked her pictures. (He also did this with another girl earlier on in our relationship, I spoke to him about it and he understand how it made me feel).
I messaged him to say I wasn’t happy with it and asked how he’d feel if the shoe was on the other foot. He then blew up and sent me several nasty and sarcastic messages and then ended our relationship over message. That was only message I responded to and just said “ok”. He then unfriended me on social media.
I’m more upset about the nasty/sarcastic messages he sent, surely you don’t do that to someone you love bringing up my past and things that happened before I met him). I don’t understand why he wasn’t being mature and just ending it on civil terms. If he’s not guilty of anything, why would you react like that? Wouldn’t you just say how you met her and in hindsight I shouldn’t have liked them but honestly it’s nothing to worry about.
It’s like he’s had a personality transplant and I cannot say anything remotely negative or even question him or our relationship he gets like that.
