greygoose

I do hear what you are saying. I honestly do. In my original post though, I have said I have been with others and so has she. I will admit I have a touch of "save the damsel in distress complex" but after her, I tried all sorts of personalities and everything. Women who were strong and independent, stoner chicks.. you name it. Nothing compares to her. Like I feel like.. grr I wish I knew how to explain it. I just don't know yet, if she could ever feel the same way and if she doesn't, what do I do? I have never met anyone like her and maybe I won't ever again?

We met through mutual friends. She was the sweetest, most girly thing I have ever seen. She used to poke fun at me and try to wind me up when ever we crossed paths and I had no idea how to handle it. We then we started seeing each other outside of friends .. talking on the phone, going out to do stuff. I became protective of her and things just started to roll from there. We were on and off for years.. Maybe five or six? One fight killed it all and then I moved over seas. Reason behind the last breakup is hard to say at this point. Probably over something stupid. I think both of us are products of our emotion and that's why we fight and love so much but I have not spoken to her in years. (I know this is cringe but I have stalked her facebook a few times.)

Those are truly awesome questions. And things I need to consider before (and if) I contact her. I know, most defiantly if she was loyally committed to someone else, yes that would close the chapter for sure. If she was angry or felt nothing or didn't reply, I think that's what I am most afraid of. I am not sure how to feel about that and maybe that's why I keep dreaming about her. I think I know what I need to do now. I was really not expecting a response such as yours. I feel blessed you did respond though.

I am one of those people who are exceptional at giving advice and more specifically relationship advice, however when it comes to my own relationships, I tend to break the rules and all the advice that I give to others. I don't know why or how, it just happens. Moving past that, I realize that when most people ask for advice, they have made up their mind already or only really hear what they want to hear. I am guilty of this, of course but this time it's different. I am in love with a woman I lost contact with many years ago. Even though I have been with other women, my love for her never died. Up until this day, I have tried to just put it in a mental box and try to forget about it or hide it. I constantly dream about her but last nights dream was a breaking point for me. It wasn't a bad dream per-say but I woke up covered in sweat and my heart pounding and mentally, it impacted me. So here I am. My question is, should I contact her? Or try harder to forget. Our love was intense but so was our fighting but even when we were just friends, we were best friends. My concerns are, if I contact her and she gets upset or angry and if she feels nothing. I am not sure what would feel worse.