I need advise
I started playing an online game back in January, and started getting flirty with some of the players, I added one of them to my snapchat and send him a photo of my bra... anyway my husband found out that I had been flirting with other guys and wanted to divorce, I told him that I did not had any emotional feelings for them that I was just passing time, he didnt believe me at first but we talked about it, I deleted discord, and the game and he stayed, later that day I begged to get the game back at least for an hour a day, and in return we were going to have ana sex (hate it) he agreed, I installed and played it. One hour was not enough as I was still talking to other guys, I then started "buying" time by giving him massages (one minute of massage was equal to 3.5 minutes on the game) that went on for a few days. He started to get ansious again for the time that I was starting to spend on the game, he started asking me about who else I was talking to and the reason why I could not stop playing that game, I finally told him about the other two guys, he read the messages that I had with them was really hurt and disappointed, he talked again about getting a divorce. He made me write to the one guy that I actually really like and tell him that I was married have two kids and how much I loved my husband, I did what se said. He then gave me the ultimatum if I wanted him to stay I needed to give up my phone for a week. I accepted I thought I didnt want my marriage to dissolve, but at the same time I feel like I'm being treated as a child and losing my independence, he's always been kind of controlling, never lets me cut my hair the way I want, never let me make my own decisions.
I think I still love my husband but I do wonder why I started flirting with other guys, and why I didnt stop after our first argument.
I dont know what to do, at this point I dont even know if I want to stay with him anymore
Please help
