My ex (27M) and I (26M) broke up around 3 years ago (we are in our mid 20s)
Since then I've been in a serious relationship with only one guy and he has casually dated 2 girls.
It's weird but each year we often end up talking to each out for around a month max (through phone only) we have not seen each other. It's either I reach out or he does and when things go south I block his number
We talk and confide in each other but the conversations would lead to him wondering if we should get back together, and I tell him we can't because we are bad for each other and cannot be together even though I know he's such a good guy. He comes from an abusive home and struggles with drug addiction but he's also very smart and independent. This was one of the reasons we broke up, and our mutual friends said I was a trigger and not good for him. But it's been so long and he never gave up on me. Whenever I called him he always answered and listened to me and then gave advice
He never forgot my birthday and he bought me a necklace a year after the break up and once or twice a plushy for Christmas by leaving them outside my door but never coming in.
At some point my new bf and my ex had met. My ex then spoke to me and said he didn't think my new bf was genuine and that my new bf tried to hook up with one of his (my exes) female friends, and he told me to be careful. I got pissed at my ex and blocked him and told him not to meddle in my life because he was no one to me anymore.
a year later after my new bf and I broke up, he told me he initiated gl meet my ex to discuss about me but my ex stood up for me. My ex always defended and spoke highly of me infront of mutual friends, and blamed himself for how every thing ended.
I noticed he didn't message me in months so I texted him but when I figured he won't respond I deleted the messages. He never even saw them
Then suddenly this year I got a call from a number but when I said hello it closed. I called back 3 times and still no answer, and then he called and said hi I got a call from this number? I said really?.and he was shocked, he said that was his work number and called by mistake because I have the same name as one of his clients and he apologized but said it was nice to hear my voice. We ended up talking for a long time and he said he will travel probably to join his new girlfriend who moved but also that he wants to continue studying elsewhere. He was friendly but when I brought up our past he cried and asked me not to remind him because it hurts a lot and he was very sorry and wished he could turn back time
I told him I was never able to love again and that all I do is focus on myself Then he acknowledged that he was hoping we could get back together before but realized it's wrong and we are better off apart.
When the call ended he texted again the next day saying he wanted to give me something small (I remember in the call I asked him if he knows where I can buy it) I said no and that I can buy it myself. I felt he was offended and he said he wanted to ask for my permission first before dropping something off as not to cross boundaries
Then he texted again , he apologized and said it was only to make me smile. And he wants to leave the door open and be there as a friend. He thanked me for making him feel alive and said how special I was to everyone and wishes me to have a strong career, a loving husband, kids and achieve all my dreams
I don't understand him. Does he still love me romantically or is he just being friendly? Or is he being manipulative?
I don't know if I should reply back or ignore or what to say...
