Jturner96

I got addicted to pain pills once my ex dumped me and I found out I had herpes I got hooked for 3 years and we got together and she helped me through all that, it’s her dream to be a drug councilor

I guess I should have been more clear, she doesn’t take her seizure meds cause they make her feel weird and she currently on her 3 rd different med to find the right one.. and I was in a dark place in life and ex addict, she saved me from the dark place in my life.. she helped me get clean and accepted me for me and I do take care of her when she gets in these state of minds but I can’t force her to do something, I do make her take meds, she doesn’t like anti depressants and the doctor can’t get her in until later in may, about her depression she has a councilor but we don’t like her councilor, and that’s the nearest date from 3 docs around

It’s not really so much for me, I could care less about myself, I just miss seeing her happy and seeing her smile is all, I understand what she feels, I know she blames me.. I gave up my life for her, she turned my life around and saved me and I could never be more thankful.. I just want to return the favor.. she is not a big medicine person.. when she gets stressed she has seizures and won’t take her medicine, she is stubborn lol.. I know she blames me, she shut me out, won’t even hardly talk to me or be around me so I get it you know.. her kids are 3 and 5, they co parent great.. I claim these kids as my own.. she tells me if she wanted me gone I would already be gone.. I mean my feelings are hurt yeah cause she is my best friend, but I also blame myself.. it is my fault and I know.. she doesn’t think I cheated, I would never even dream of it.. she knows what my ex done.. I’ve never lied to her or given her any reason to not trust me.. I just don’t like seeing her like this you know.. and it’s never been about sex, I could honestly care less about sex, it’s a bonus but I get lost in her soul and the connection we have/had.. I get lost in her beauty and not just her looks, I mean her personality, her laugh, her smile, her eyes, her soul, her dreams, her happiness, even her flaws.. to me she is perfect I always put her before myself and she gets upset when I do so but I just want to be here for her like she was me but it’s just hard for me to help when I don’t know what to do you know

I mean I understand what she is going through 100% and I know it makes it worse, I just try to get her smiling again because I miss her beautiful smile and her being happy.. and I do, I hate myself for giving it to her.. we both knew the risk.. she does have to process it and I am trying to tell her it will be okay and I’m not going anywhere.. I miss her, she feels so far away even though she is sitting beside me.. I miss her smile, her kiss, he touch and her warm embrace.. I love her so much and it makes me feel she hates me and is disgusted with me.. makes me feel she doesn’t love me anymore.. I honestly hate myself for having it especially now, she saved me when I first found her and she will never know what she has meant to me/ means to me, I tell her and try to show her but she honestly will never know that all I think about is her, from the minute my eyes pop open till I close them.. I’m hurt from all this too and I just miss my best friend you know

I’m not rushing her, I’ve given her her space and I try to do anything she asks, I’m just worried about her, she was talking suicidal thoughts but she says she will never act on them because of her kids.. I just feel bad cause I feel it’s my fault and I feel like she is disgusted with me, and I feel guilty.. she just wants to be alone she says and be by herself in her thoughts

I’ve tried asking her, I tried talking to her, she says she just has all these thoughts going through her mind, and all these what ifs, and I’ve tried doing things to cheer her up, she will cheer up for a moment but gets right back silent.. and I understand, I just want to help her and I want her to know I’m here for her, and she does, I just don’t want to lose her, and I’ve delt with depression myself but never like hers

Hello all, I really need some advice.. me and my girlfriend of 2 years are kinda in a rough patch, more her than me lately.. So please don’t judge me, but my ex before her cheated on me for 6 months while I was always working to pay our bills.. long days and nights, and 2 weeks before we split she slept with me and we didn’t do that a lot towards the end and I kinda new something was up, but she all of a sudden acted like nothing happened and then 1 week after we split up I went to the doc and got diagnosed with genital herpes.. now me and my girl now are together and currently live together, she has treated me like a king and I told her I had herpes from the beginning… almost 2 years later and now she has it.. I tried to keep her safe and we always tried to be cautious.. now she has shut down and shut me out and throwing herself into a depression.. she battles depression already.. now she barely talks to me, she wants to be alone and won’t kiss me or hold my hand or even wants me around hardly.. she is finally coming back around and taking to me and finally telling me she loves again but still doesn’t want me touching her or kissing her or won’t hold my hand cause she feels disgusting and embarrassed with herself.. and I understand how she feels cause I went through it and know all the thoughts in her head.. I’m trying to be here for her and give her her space but honestly I don’t know what else to do for her..