Whatsthescoop

What do you want, value, think that you deserve? The way that you believe in yourself sets the standard for the way that other's believe in you. People treat us the way that we allow them to treat us - the behavior that we are accepting from them. Clearly, you do not wish to be treated this way, but his behavior is being accepted, whether you know it deep down or not. Being a Narcissist is neither here nor there. We don't change people, right? All that we can do is change our own outcome in life. From what I've read, this guy is unstable, cruel, extremely abusive, insecure, has his own interest at heart (definitely not yours) - the list goes on. Perhaps ask yourself one question, "Is this the way that I would like to be treated indefinitely?" Personally, I would take flight and never, ever look back. Nobody deserves such behavior. Nobody.

Good question. I'm not sure - didn't think to ask. He's almost 70, and yes, he could try finding someone. I am stepping back, and have realized that it's not up to me to provide his happiness. We've talked a couple of times regarding only being friends, and that if he needed more, I am not the one, in which case he stated, "We're very clear on that, I am happy having you as a friend to accompany me to things which I would be going to alone anyway." Thank you for your perspective. All advice has been so helpful - from everyone!

DarkCh0c0 & Wiseman2, All valid and important points. We are both divorced. I think that it's fair to start distancing myself, and to start dating without divulging information. Leading him on is not my intent, but I can see how that could be the case, and it definitely would not be fair to a prospective love interest. Your advice is appreciated more than you could know!

Well folks, this won't be easy to explain, so please bare with me. I've become best friends with a male whom is 15 years older than I. We love one another, but I have never been in love with him. He knows this, yet still seems to want more. We talk about EVERYTHING, have been friends for 4+ years, and he loves me for who I am, but I'm not the least bit attracted to him. I truly care about this man. We do everything together. We started to kiss one time a couple of years ago, and I stopped it, as there was no chemistry on my end..at all. He accepted this, and we agreed to be friends. It never went any further - we didn't even finish our one and only kiss because I was really turned off. I am in my 50's and ready to date again after being single for almost 10 years. The problem that I'm having is wanting desperately to keep from hurting him. Every time I start looking at dating sites, he is in the back of my mind, as I know that it will break his heart. Does anyone have advice on how I can go about this without devastating him? I do not want to lose him as a friend, he is a wonderful person, and I've even tried to have romantic feelings for him - It's just not going to happen. In theory, it seems like this should not be an issue, but it is. He literally has nobody left. His child died of cancer, his parent's and siblings passed long ago, he has no family left, and this is heartbreaking. I am his "person", he is mine. We know everything about one another; The good, the bad, and the super ugly. He looks at me with stars in his eyes. He is in love - there's no doubt about that. Please, if any of you have some insight, or have been through similar, how would you handle this? Thank you in advance!