Froggyjjj

Kids are only here a year. Them moving in was my husband’s suggestion not mine. They don’t pay rent but I don’t give them money either. They buy all groceries as well. Everybody here does there own laundry. This particular night the laundry that was needing prioritized was my husband’s. I had just agreed to stay up and wash them since I was off work

Lol. Very chaotic indeed. And no, I work and am the primary supporter. This was my day off. Daughter is in last year of NP school(she graduated high school at 15) and was req. to sign contract saying she wouldn’t work. But they will be gone next year

My husband (39yo) and I (42yo) have been together for 15 years. Neither of us have ever cheated on the other. However, due to events from our past, trust has always been a point of conflict. He is skeptical of pretty much everything or thinks everyone has a hidden agenda. He’s always “planning for worst-case scenario”. I on the other hand am probably too trusting. I try to see the good in everyone, give people more chances than they probably deserve, and I am the one who usually looks for the bright side of tough situations. In general we are both reserved and easy going people who prefer to avoid conflict. Our differences are seen in situations where a nerve has been hit. If he is particularly bothered, annoyed, concerned, ect. about something he tends to be more conservative and virtuous in his reaction with a tendency to be a tad chauvinistic. I on the other hand tend to be more bold and vocal with my reaction with a tendency to be a tad riotous. This has led to more than a few disagreements over the years as to what is considered “appropriate” clothing for me to wear. Most recently a pair of shorts that he thought were too short. Currently our 21yo daughter and her 25yo boyfriend live with us while she finishes school. The other day I had neglected the laundry for a couple days and all the usual lounge pants I have were dirty. So I threw on a pair of lounge shorts. They were just plain cotton pajama shorts. And yes, they were “booty” shorts, but not distastefully short. And I wasn’t going commando, I wore a respectable pair of cotton hipster style underwear. During the week I babysit my granddaughter in the mornings while our daughter is in class bc the boyfriend works nights and is usually sleeping. On this particular morning my husband got off work early and came home around lunchtime. After he was home for less than an hour I heard the boyfriend in another room talking to my granddaughter, the first I’d heard him awake that day and it was about the time he usually starts moving around. I continued to watch TV and remained in my bedroom. I had been there for the majority of the morning and the entire time my husband had been home. Then about 5 minutes later he walks into the room and says “Do you think you could put on something that doesn’t have your a** hanging out while he’s walking around the house?” I in turn saw RED and was infuriated. I went into a tirade and definitely should have handled my reaction better. But I was furious. And it wasn’t so much about the request as to how the request was presented. Because this wasn’t my usual “lay around the house” attire. It is on VERY rare occasion that I wear shorts like that. One look at the 5 different piles of sorted laundry on the floor between us, and I thought it was obvious I was backed up on laundry. I do not make it a habit to frolic around the house scantily clad. Even though I feel that it’s my house, my home, and I should be free to wear whatever I want to, out of respect for my husband I generally am very conscientious of what I wear around the house. The only exception being the request that I put on a bra if another male other than my husband or son was there. UPS man needed a signature? Upon returning from answering the door I got the head to toe back to head scan with a perplexed look on his face as he asked “You answered the door without a bra?” (And let me clarify, I am far from being considered a voluptuous girl, in the cleavage area I’m probably more on the low end of average. Also I wear oversized Tshirts around the house, not spaghetti strap tank tops) The question annoyed me, and I made that known but quickly brushed it off. At a later date when I was questioned on whether or not I thought I was using good judgment by making the decision to not wear a bra around the house when my son (13 or 14 at the time) had a friend spend the night, I put my foot down. I hate bras, I have never put one on that I didn’t want to immediately take off, and I refuse to be shamed into thinking I had to in the comfort of my own home. I know I need to work on how I respond to these requests. But am I wrong to think these requests are ridiculous?? Is it disrespectful of me to think my husband shouldn’t tell me what I can and can’t wear. Where does the line cross between me being disrespectful and him being controlling?? How would you handle this situation?? How should I handle this situation??