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Lilly4

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  1. Another thing, my boyfriend is really unhappy at the moment due to the situation and wants to move in with me as he tells me all the time. But feels guilty. Just thought I’d clarify in case anyone else would like to make me feel like crap with their assumptions!!
  2. Did you actually read my post or are you just basing your response off of your stupid assumptions?
  3. My boyfriends grandmother is in her late 80s, she is able to cook, do some basic cleaning and can get around okay. But she needs someone to be with her in the house at night in case she has a fall. Here’s the problem. My boyfriend has lived with his Nan since he was 12 after he was taken from his mums care. His dad and uncle used to live in the home too but his dad moved out years ago, and his uncle moved out last year to go live with his girlfriend who lives a good few hours away. My boyfriend has been helping for years to make sure she is ok. When his uncle moved out, my boyfriend asked him ‘well what am I going to do when I get a full time job’ and his uncle just said ‘I don’t know’. now, my boyfriend has no problem helping out with looking after his Nan, but I think its really unfair as her own sons no longer help out at all really. His brother moved in not too long after his uncle moved out, so he helps. But he got a full time job at a bar so he works late, so my boyfriend was always expected to be there. so now all the responsibility of looking after their Nan has been left to both of them, which I don’t think is right at all. They’re both in their early twenties, whilst their dad and uncle have both lived their lives but have just left this all to them. a few weeks ago my boyfriend overheard his uncle telling his brother that he was going to put the carers allowance in his name, and that they would backdate it for the last few months he has been there, even though my boyfriend was doing the majority during that time! No one has mentioned this to my boyfriend and he only knows because he overheard them speaking on the phone. his brother just goes out and doesn’t tell or ask him, so if we have plans we have to cancel them so he can stay home and make sure his Nan is ok. But when my boyfriend has plans, he is expected to ask his brother to make sure he isn’t going to work, or going out partying!! Even though, his brother will now be getting paid for being the carer, yet still works at a bar full time, still goes on holiday and still goes out partying a lot of the time. my boyfriend doesn’t have a problem with looking after his Nan at all, and doesn’t begrudge helping every now and then with whatever she needs. And of course, neither do I. And I am always happy to help. but I think it is so so unfair that this huge responsibility has been put on both of them whilst her sons can get on with their lives and not worry, his uncles moved out now and his dad works a job where he has to stay all over the country for weeks at a time, so no chance either of them will be helping! not only that, but I recently got my own place and my boyfriend wants to move in, but right now it’s difficult as he has so much responsibility with his Nan. Not only this, but his brother is now the one who’s being paid, and my boyfriend is the one who’s expected to rearrange his life to take care of his Nan!! I love my boyfriends family and I have never thought or spoken badly of them, but I think this whole situation is just unfair. I can’t do much, and I can’t make my boyfriend do or say anything so I suppose I just want some advice and whether anyone else thinks I am right or wrong for thinking this way.
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