Lily4

Hello , I’m sorry I didn’t reply to you sooner but I’ve really been thinking a lot about my situation and what you said and some things are becoming a bit more clear to me about what I did in the past . I still feel awful about it but it’s something I did in the past and I’ve been thinking of how much worse it could have been . I can’t imagine if we actually tried to have a relationship that would have eventually led to sex and so much wrong that it makes me happy to know that none of that ever happened and that I put an end to it before it got that far . It’s something that I wish I never allowed and I wish I had stopped before it even started but I’m able to look at the positive sides to and not just beat myself down and want to hate myself.. I do care for myself.. I’m working being able to live myself as well because I’ve in my current relationship that it’s not easy to love others when we can’t love ourselves.. but I just want to thank you for this advice and helping not become depressed and miserable over this . Thank you so much i almost can’t thank you enough

this all sounds overwhelming but I think you are right . I’m not practicing any of the following things you mentioned and it’s not to my benefit I get so lost in self loathing that I want to just let myself go as a human being but that’s not who I am and that’s not who I want to be I know I can’t beat myself up over forever when I truly think about but it’s so hard to get out of the dark place it puts me in some days I’m able to feel like I’ve forever myself but as soon as I get to a point where things might be looking good for me it comes back and reminds me that I’m not good enough for anything positive to happen for me . So sometimes I’d rather just accept that it’s the way things are now and I have to live like this forever.. sorry if I’m rambling but I thought you may like to know my thoughts and feelings during my low points . but I’m going to take your advice and start activity trying to better myself thank you ❤️

Ok .. I’ll try to stop guilting myself for this mistake but it’s really hard for me . do you have any suggestions on how I should move forward? . I’ll try my best to put your advice into practice.

I guess you are right because I know deep in my heart that I am not that type of person anymore and to be honest I never really was I just made a really bad and wrong choice because I am really against breaking the bond of marriage but somehow I almost found myself doing it . If I could change one thing in my life it would be that and I’m really sorry for doing it .

You’re right I am deeply sorry for what I did and I will never do it again. I’ve learned that what we did was wrong and I don’t think it would ever be ok to get involved with a married man under any circumstances at all whatsoever I’ll try to let this go .. thank you I do appreciate your help

I’m very happy with my boyfriend he’s who I would consider my future husband and kids with but when I think about what I did and knowingly did I just think about it I deserve all that with him you know ?

I think you’re completely right . The last thing I would ever do to him is hurt him especially not intentionally so this may be for the best . Thank you so much for your advice I really appreciate it

I did put it behind me . Or so I thought it happened 2 years ago but for some reason I’m getting the feeling that he should know . And in my opinion it’s because our relationship is getting more serious and I just want him to accept that I made this mistake. im not sure if that makes sense to you or not but it’s how I feel

Oh I apologize for that . I would say that at times a feel really terrible about what I have done and it makes me think badly of myself but I try not to beat myself up too much but the guilt it’s too much . And answer your second question no I don’t feel I deserve a nice boyfriend like I have now but the other part of me loves him and doesn’t want to lose him .

Well I guess what I mean to say is someone who did what I did . and the reason I’m kinda hesitant for therapy because I’ve never gone to one in my life so I’m not sure which route I should take

We’ve been together for a little over a year now and I did meet my boyfriend about 3 months after the married man I’m really trying to put it past me but I feel like he should have the option to leave or stay with someone like me .

It really was the worst mistake of my whole entire life and I will never ever do anything even close to that again and I know this in my heart . but I also believe that my boyfriend should know the person he is in love with I think it should be his choice to stay with someone who did the things I did or to leave me . You know ?

Hello everyone, So as the title say I was having an affair with a married man with kids When we met I did not know he was married. We exchanged numbers and began talking and such nothing much at first but I did like him as more than a friend before I gave my number to him shortly after he told me that he was married and at that point I should have just backed away but I thought I could keep the relationship plutonic because I did enjoy our talks but now that I look back at it even that would have been terribly wrong in itself but sadly I continued our relationship as friends but a while later he told me that he liked me as more than a friend I really didn’t know how to take this because I did want more than a friendship with him but he was already in a committed relationship with kids so I just left it on that note and after a while he was starting to not contact me as much so I eventually told him how I felt out of fear of losing what I thought we had so A while after that our conversations became inappropriate but I was in something with him but I know now that it wasn’t love or anything close to it but unfortunately this relationship continued He’d start to tell me that he didn’t love his wife and he didn’t feel the same way about her as he did for me this made me even more hesitant to leave because I thought he loved me and wanted to be with me .. It started as him asking me if we could hug I told him no and that it was not something I could do but he asked more and more until I eventually said yes so we hugged And it felt wrong but it was just a hug and it was only supposed to be that one time but it was not the last time We hugged again after that and he was more touchy this time I can’t say that I didn’t want him to but I stopped him from me too much because I was trying to resist it going any further than a hug , The last time we did hug it became I little more than a hug I let him touch my body this time .... I gave in unfortunately and that was close to the last time we saw each other but we did stay in contact because it was hard for me to let go at first He tried to invite me out like to a hotel but I just couldn’t do that so I told him that we should not talk anymore and I blocked him . But I started to miss him so I unblocked him and told him that I missed him and we just talked for a little while but then it led back to him asking me to come over to his house because his wife was on vacation.. I said no and I couldn’t do that to her or his family it was then I realized that he was not mine and was never going to be because I could not break his family.. he told me that it was not the first time he cheated and that almost made me think that it may be ok if we did have a relationship . But I still couldn’t go through with it and this time I blocked him for good and we have not talked since.. Shortly that after I met my current boyfriend and he makes me so happy and I know what it’s like to be truly loved and to love someone he’s everything to me . But I can’t be happy with him knowing what I did in the past and who I was .. This was my first relationship ever and I hate that I was based around lies and secrets and hiding.. and again I don’t want to try to sugarcoat this in any way I am very ashamed of this it was very wrong and it is something that really deeply regret and cry and hurt over it should have never happened i feel just awful about everything and I feel like don’t deserve to have a good relationship with my boyfriend and I don’t deserve to be loved by him or to love him . But the truth is I do love him with all my heart and because I love him I feel I need to tell him but at the same time I don’t want to lose him . How do I approach this with him ? I really need some help with this . Please and thank you all