This will be long and I apologize.
My husband and I have been together 11 years and we have 3 kids (13,8,7). In 2018, he had an an affair for several months, and I found out from the girl’s fiancé who looked me up to inform me what was going on behind my back too. I have never been so betrayed or heartbroken in my entire life. I was shocked and blindsided. So then my husband moved an hour away to be near the girl and got his own apartment. I filed for divorce and we separated for 7 months. Well, right around Christmas of that year he started trying to get together more often with the kids and then he moved back into our house very beginning of 2019. We moved forward like nothing happened, even though this situation was super traumatic to me.
So fast forward to New Years of this year. We go to Nashville and I get drunk and decide to ditch my own husband and go make other friends. I end up meeting a guy there and go home with him. Amazing night, I felt seen, admired, wanted, etc. I left and went back to my husband at the hotel and at the point, I did not tell him the truth of what really happened. Two nights later, I ditched my husband again. A guy and girl helped me leave him that night after they noticed he was being really controlling and the girl grabbed my hand and escorted me out away from him. After I got away, I called the guy I stayed with from the first night and he came and picked me up. Another amazing night.
So anyways, the next day we drive back home, alternating between interrogation and silence. Things were extremely weird at home and I told him basically I didn’t want to hurt him but I felt like I was just here because of the kids. He leaves for a week and stays at a friends house and he also consults a lawyer about a divorce.
Last Friday, he says he will come to the house and stay with the kids and I can leave.. so I drive back to Tennessee to meet the guy I met in Nashville. We have an incredible evening together and I drive back home the next day and my husband goes thru my car and finds a parking ticket and goes insane. Tells me to get out of his house (even though it’s ours) and throws all my clothes and stuff in the back of my car. I leave and stay with my parents for the night and the next day I go back home to discuss things with my husband. He says he doesn’t want to lose me, and that he loved me, and that we should go to counseling. He’s been extra super nice, leaving little notes, buying me flowers, etc etc, but I feel like I am betraying him, as well as myself. All I want to do is see Nashville guy again, and I’m constantly thinking about him.
So now I’m at the crossroads of do I stay and work on this marriage where we have both cheated on each other now, or I just move the hell on and live my life the way I want to?
