Caesar45

Thats the end goal here if she leaves me alone.

Yeah she is while also trying to make me jealous and pushing all of my buttons to learn about what I am doing who I am dating what gift I will buy to my gf for the Valentines day or will I go to a ski vacation she asks these questions openly I am serious. And what she does when she gets some kind of answer ? She gots mad she tries to make me feel jealous or runs away by hiding behind her bf only to come back later. Tell me is her behaviour normal does she act like a normal person beucase a normal person would avoid all these questions and do not check up the girls in my instagram stories and make comments about them like "This girl is hot where did you meet" or "Are you dating this women she looks older than you hahaha" well she doesnt looks like she moved on actually it looks like she is moving backwards. OH BY THE WAY SHE CALLED ME AGAIN THIS MORNING HER NUMBER IS NOT RECORDED ON MY CONTACS BUT I KINDA REMEMBER LAST FOUR DIGITS SO I KNOW ITS HER ANYWAY YOU STILL SAY SHE MOVED ON DOES SHE ACTS LIKE SHE MOVED ON ??? No worries by the way I havent answered it. I know she regrets blocking me already and trying to establish contanct again but its better to keep her out. I know what game she is playing thats why I called it a war and she is going to lose it unless something really big happens which I dont think it will.

She blocked me yesterday yeah but send me a sms to to say that she is sorry she had done what she had to do she really cares about me etc etc. This is no self respect this is pure nonesense. Of course I didnt replied I was too busy laughing at her atm. Of course I will leave her alone I am trying this in last two weeks every conversation is beign started by her not the mention the calls she make which I always ignore. Plus she wanted to meet and drink cofee 4 days ago which was also rejected by me. Now I have peace a temprory one but peace nevertheless the actual war will start when she comes back because she is just hiding behind in her relationship while constantly being curious about what am doing? Not to mention constant critism she makes about my love life I mean why do you care anyway. She even goes and checks out the girls I tagged in my instagram stories and dont ask me how do I know it because she told me herself. Oh by the way her relationship is breaking apart I can see it her actions and her instability (also she tried to talk about it but I shut down the conversation) this proves only one thing. She will comeback maybe tomorrow maybe a week or month later. She is hiding behind her relationship and that wont last long I know her more than you believe me. Have no worries I will stay away from her I dont even have her number anymore so I cant reach out to her even if I want to. I wasnt reaching out to her even I was not blocked so why would I reach out now. Although I suffer greatly she doesnt know it and this drives her crazy because I was the guy who loved her no matter what. If she comes back two things might happen. If can improve myself I can shut her off harsly and send her away forever. If I can break her hearth into 1000 pieces that will be more than awesome but it will depend on my situation. On the other hand If I stay weak she will sneak in use her charming words confess her love or use her sexualty and bring me down. If this happens she can become my gf and that will be terrible thing for me because she will break my hearth again. Oh by the way I am feeling great at the moment because she is finnaly gone and make herself look like fool. Her inability to stay away from me coupled with her constant mood changes especially when she thinks I am with someone. I mean seriously she tried to talk me and get me jeaouls of her a month only to feel the exact feeling and left with no option to run. I got what I wanted she lost I have won thats the end of the story.

Oke I did something diffrent today and got an unexpected result nevertheless I am sure we wont be talking in the upcoming months. She reached out to me again and asked for an help about something related to selling bitcoin (she bought because of me 3 months ago) I helped her and we talked for time about our jobs how fool we were when were young etc. Then I realised that this conversation dragged more than it needs to be so I tried to exit the conversation but she begin to ask about my plans about the Valentines day do I have someone in my life who was that girl in your story where am I am planing to go with the new person and when tried to avoid these questions she insisted a lot. This time I kindly asked her to never ask me these questions again and told her that "Lets keep our respect for each other and also respect our past relationships I am not asking you anything about your BF so please dont ask anything about my private life these subject only creates arguments between us this applies to both of us you know it" thats what I said. I wanted her to understand that I am no longer the old Caesar she is so used to, the loser guy who talks with her no matter what with no self respect. I cannot be get friendzoned never again and with a simple sentence above she understand that really well. At first she acted cool said that she dont care and laughed a little bit then she made 180 degree turn and said I cannot talk to you anymore its disrespectrul to my BF which I immedietly replied "Oke" she kept on writing and only got "Allright thats oke farewell" and then she blocked me which made me laugh a lot... Well I got what I wanted and she put herself in a terrible situation and also realised the fact that altough she asks about my private life and acts like she dont care she also dont like hearing about it this disturbed her a lot because its the exact opposite she says and she know it. Now I am not saying that she is in love with me I am not fooling myself but she realised a lot of stuff today about me and about herself plus this torture has ended without me letting her know that I suffer because of her instead I come out on top. As long as she is with that guy she will no longer approch me from then on I am sure of it the only danger is that if she breaks up she might try to come to me as a emotional pillow so I gotta be careful apart from that I think this story ended for now and really really hope that this is the last time we talked because I promised myself not to reach out to her and this is exactly what I am doing in these last two weeks and I can easly do it since she is out of contact.

So what do you say I should block her out of no where how will that make me look?

Yeah you are right thats the way go but I need an argument for this I cant just block her now. I cannot look like a weak idiot all I care about is my pride because thats the only thing I have. Even in the situation of we are not talking ever again I cannot allow her that I run away from her because I am weak and lovestruck or whatever a strong men dont cares or acts like he does not they both same. But its not that hard sooner or later something will happen she will do something I know and when I have the chance I will do it you are right.

No I am not focused I dont want to be focused of anything releated to her. I just told you the story of how we got together also she is still gorgeous yeah but she is not mine and its better this way its just time to move on. I sent her away half an hour ago one more time I dont know what the hell is she thinking she got a bf but keeps writing to me asking how I am doing etc anyway this time I act kindly didnt acted like an ***. She brings only pain and I dont need this in my life I gotta focus on my job and keep earning money also I have to lose some weight probably I will go to gym or something.

First of all just like the other people say focus on your health. About the guy who freak out about pregnancy. Well this can happen to many men but after some time couple hours maybe days. If a men loves a women enough that men will do everything my dear. In the past I have had girlfriends if some of them come and told me that she is carrying my child I would freak out too and even dont want to baby. There were also other type of women in my life that if she says the same thing all I would say "Oke lets get married" and thats it. Surely I will freak out but probably from hapiness. Its all about how we see the women in front us its all about how much we love. Men are not complicated as women most of the time we are like simple machines. We either love soo much and die for the women or we just dont see a future or maybe we tell ourselves that we can find better. In your case maybe he loves you but according to what you wrote it looks like that was not enough because if it is now he would be eagerly waiting beside you. Sorry is these words break your hearth I have no intention but plain truth always better than making assumtions. I am a men too and I know how I would have react in this kind of situation. I am a men who takes extra extra precautions during sex but there is one women in my life that when I am with her I almost do nothing. I dont actively seek to get her pregnant but I know that I am fully %100 ready to have her in my life forever because I dream that women to be the mother of my children. Thats what happens when a men crazy in love not something like "Lets take it slow" etc etc this is love this is relationship there is no planning it cause when its true it usually so crazy that no plan can last for more than couple days. A women may plan to take it slow and still be crazy in love but most of the time when men does these things its never a good sign. Womens are more emotional compared to men thats why when it comes to intense emotions you know how to control them. Men are not like this we dont like intense emotions and we dont know how to control them when we were angry what we do we fight when we are in love what we do we do crazy stuff when we want money what we do we work nonstop. We are simple please stop trying putting this much effort understanding us. We are what we are mostly what we do or say is pretty much the exact reality. So to sum it up stop blaming yourself it was not you it was him not loving you enough and thats it. What to next well let him see the baby not because he has right to do but because baby needs it too and find a men who will love you soo much that instead of freaking out and blaming you he will hold your hand and you go to church to marry because thats would a loving men would do.

Well my friend you were right because 2 hours ago we talked (first time since the last conversation) couple messages back and forth and I finished to conversation with a nice message so no more trying to be the *** since I kinda get what I want. Plus even my stomach reacted to the situation its kinda crazy but even my body rejects her knowing that she will only bring pain everypart of my brain knows this. Now its easy to block her I did it 3 times in the past. But she knows my weakness and she really really wants to come all she need to do is to make me think this "Somehing bad might happen to her" this my friend is my biggest nigthmare. I would rather die to see her getting buried in to a grave or something knowing that I could have lived soo many great things together and she is gone forever. I can block her but we gotta have a some sort of fight for me to do it plus it will work only for couple of weeks maybe months and we are back in the loop again. I can stay away from her I have the power but I dont have the power to stop her when she comes in full force and belive me she did that many times. I wished that I havent seen her in the universty 13 years ago. The most beatiful thing I have ever seen in my life the girl in the whole school that every goddam one of the boys wants to meet or date her and I got the prize. You didnt belive it but I lost half of my friends because they were soo jealous that I managed to get the girl everyone wanted AND NO ONE GET IT her reputation of rejecting men was so severe that everyone believed that she is a lesbian or something but in reality she was just a broken mess who cant decide what do with a her life and when make her say that "I love you baby all I think about is you how did you make me love you like this? this sounded like a major victory back then but now I know that was the end of my happy days. I have dated many women after her some I loved again some I just wasnt able to but I dont know dude I have never wanted anyone in my life more than her. But dont get me wrong these are just my confessions I am fully aware that I need to stay away from while keeping my cools because she is not good for me. Edit: She is also responsible for directly or indirectly destroying three of my relationships with other women. She doesnt want me but she doenst want me to be with other women too. Deep down she knew that I am the best choice for her as a partner for life (thats the reasons she keeps coming) but she is just sick and selfish beyond imagination.

Well if thats the case than oke. But you can still treat this in a smiliar manner OCD causes addictions psycological addictions these recurring tgoughts about that girl same as that. I am a smoking addict and I smoke pack of cigarettes everyday if I quit now. For a week maybe two I will be thinking about smoking probably all day long my brain and my body may react to the non existance of nicotine a chemical that I am addicted. Well this is exactly same with OCD - addiction in psycology thats called withrawal symtoms and its worse especially if you have been exposed to your addiction very soon. Now I dont know if you will get married with this women I hope that you can do it. If you really want to be sure about this you can make this test. Imagine a time when she is super intrested in you like texting you calling you wants to see you etc. By the way I am not talking about some fantasy a real time maybe in past I dont know when this kind of intrest comes from the person we love for a short period of time we usually dont feel any kind of OCD or Anxiety after all your addiction is satisfied for the moment. Its like a smoking addict finishing his cigarate he/she satisfied for a time beign think about this does it fits you? Let me give you another example it has been 5 days since I havent spoken with my ex. She only gives me pain and nothing else my story is much worse than yours. So how was that six day well I kinda thought about her sometimes but in general it was peaceful if I compare to the last week when she was active in my life.Its always like that with her couple weeks of hapiness and months of misery. Due to the reason that I am starving my OCD from its very own source atm my subconsciousness is kinda going crazy. Yesterday and also today ( I just woke up from a 2 hour long nap) I have seen her in my dreams. In the past I looked for a meaning in these dreams but right now I know they are the product of withrawal symtoms which I have to fight aganist. Is it familiar with you think about this two examples I gave you do you react in a same way?

I told you I can understrand you cause I suffer from the same problem and you are right its like beign sane and crazy at the same time. Or its like a drug addiction especially if its pointed towards a person. Now I want to ask you a question all those drug addicts out there do you think that they dont know how much harmful for their health when they use cocaine or heroin or something. Of course they do but they just cant stop it. Ours is kinda same but we dont have an external chemical instead we have this thoughts in our head. Still our cure is same as the real drug addicts. Now what would a real drug addict must to in order to stop using. Cut contanct with the friends who also use or remind you the drug. Don listen the same songs or do the activities you do after you used the drug. Stay away from the places where you have used or can remind you the drug and most imporatly stay away from the drug dealer at all cost. Put this into work for yourlife. You are obsessing for this girl well cut contact with mutual friends as much as possible, stay away from the restorants and places you have visited. Do not listen the same songs and look at the objects which can remind you of her (the paper) and most imporatntly stay away from the drug dealer = the ex girlfriend. Here my friend these are the words of my doctor and it works. I mean it works unless I obey it of course the moment I break it OCD comes back. Also dont look for a way for hapiness have you ever seen drug addict live happly ever after? Here is your answer the answer which was given to me by my doctor it hurts I know but its true OCD gives birth to psycological addiciton and this never ends well.

Update 3 days later: So it has been three days just like you guys/girls told me to do I cut contanct with her and asked her not to contact me in any situation. Luckly so far she stayed away at least for now. If I have know her she will probably stay away from me at least 2-6 weeks but after there is a danger. There is also a possibility of her breaking with her new bf anytime cause she just loves changing guys like she changes clothes so if she ever feels lonely belive me she will try her luck by reacing out. Hope it never comes that. I have also went into a full silence mod on social media not to trigger her jeaolusy attacks etc so its all silent and good. I am focusing myself to my work and gonna start a new diet with the start of the February. My OCD is at my tail all the time. Giving me thoughts coming at random and makes me play the events in my mind with diffrent outcomes etc but I am saying stop to it all the time. This is a hard progress even for a normal person but when you have OCD+Anxiety it just get worse. Still I am hopeful I may miss her from time to time buy I know this for certain. When she is away its only a tiny amount of pain to miss her. When she is near me the pain just gets multiplied by 10 so its better for not to have her in my life at all. Plus due to some my co-workers are really rude arrogant b.... I have found something else to obsess about my work and I am doing a really great job of it so far.

As a person who is also diagnosed and suffering from OCD + Anxiety for 7 years I can understand you really well. Our situation looks really weird for the people outside because we are fully aware of the fact that obbsesing about anything is harmful for us. Yet we also cant stop doing it. Its like monster waiting in the dark ready to jump at us at random moments or the moment of weakness. Stay strong my friend and keep yourself busy remember your past experiences with the OCD it only gets worse if you feed it and it gets better only if you starve it and by meaning starve well even thinking about certain memory can cause you stay in the loop. So break the loop break any pattern which may lead you to OCD thoughts I know its easy to say and hard to do but these words are coming from a person who suffers on the same level as you do because of a ex girlfriend story. So stay stong and feel free to reply to me if you want we gotta help each other right.

Sorry misatake I wanted to quate the author I deleted the message.

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