sis_fata

Ohh, my bad I worded everything wrong. I was wondering what I should do since they'd be gone and I'd have nothing much to do. I was planning on working only in the summer and quitting a few days before school starts. I do have only a few friends I'd be able to hang out with but they're also busy due to family. They would be gone for about 3-4 months (if they leave in May)

There is a big chance my friend might be getting sent to Africa over the summer. I have no one to really go to and I already know this summer is going to be a train wreck due to what is happening at home. I'm hoping I get my license in June so I have a good percentage of freedom. I already planned that I'm gonna work for the rest of the summer until they're back from Africa. We are both working on getting them a phone because their parents have taken theirs but it isn't looking so well. I already plan on taking night shifts just so the two of us can communicate. I don't really know what I should do, do you have any advice?

(tw: mentions of divorce/suicidal thoughts/attempted suicide/diet) My mental health has been bad ever since 7th grade, I would brush it off but now it is really affecting me. Everyday it worsens. I would be get help for it but I don't want to seem selfish since my parents are going through a divorce and I don't want them to drop everything and have all of their focus on me. I have developed suicidal thoughts recently and about 2 weeks ago I tried to kill myself through asphyxiation, I bailed out of fear. I don't want to die but at the same time I do. I some times feel like my family and some friends would benefit through that which I know is a big lie. I haven't eaten a lot because of stress of school and other things going on at home. I feel more weaker as the days pass. I have no one to really go to because my friends are either busy, grounded, or have stopped talking to me. Any advice on what I should do? I'm desperate at this point.