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About Denisa

  • Birthday 08/31/1980

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  1. Dear Lana Thanks for your email. i found it really interesting reading your email. Yes of course it would be ok for you to use the articles, but maybe not names (especially mine!). I have to say that when i wrote that first article i was having a really bad week but all the thoughts from other people have helped me a little. if you need any other information, please do not hesitate to get in touch. Take care D.
  2. Hi Diider Thanks for your email. It must've been hard for you when you went out with the Iraqi guy, sorry it didn't work out, but you seem happy now, so maybe it was for the best. Yes you are right, it takes time, and after we had a long chat, we both agreed to meet half way in everything. I know that our love can get us through this "getting used to changes" period and i believe one day i'll look back and realise that it wasn't that difficult. But you are right, I won't let people change myself, all i can do is make them like me for who I am. Hope all works out for you.
  3. Just keep strong babe, it's not easy, i know, but i think this is the best way. Wonder what she'll do next out of desperation? Whatever you do, try not to reply. How about a night out with you mates tonight to take your mind of things?
  4. you are NOT letting her down, all you've been doing is letting yourself down by trying to stand by her and all she was and still is doing is messing your head up. You need to keep strong, get over the first few days/weeks which is going to be hard. Don't reply to her, she'll (hopefully) get the message. Keep strong!
  5. FrozenBlaze - you do have a point there, women can be insensitive when it comes to a break up of a relationship (i mean if the break came from her side), yes i suppose we do expect men just to get over it. And as it's known women talk to their friends about a lot of things. But I have to disagree with you on the intimacy issue - as i think some women find that issue quite sensitive, and i know i would not talk to my friends about my partner in that sense. But i suppose it's all down to character... Nap-man i think you should definitely try to ignore her, no matter how hard it might be. I think you hit the nail on the head when you said that "she is trying to have her cake and eat it by trying new guys and keeping you on the sidelines". From my point of view that's exactly what she is trying to do. If you are definitely sure you want her out of you life, then i think you should cut off all the contact you have with her. Take care.
  6. So she's got a few long distance relationships? Sorry hun, but how do you know she is not doing the same with all of them? Maybe that's what makes her undecisive. Or maybe she just enjoys different trips/holidays with different "men". Sorry this must hurt...
  7. Hi I was a bit surprised by that. I didn't know you are both seeing other people (suppose it's the distance and uncertainity) but if she really really loved you, she couldn't bare to look at or touch another man. I'm not in America so I don't know how far you live from each other, but surely there is something you can do? meet half way maybe? But it sounds to me that she is probably just enjoying this kind of life. Having a fantastic time when she is with you, but also enjoying "other" partners when she isn't with you. It's obviously killing you, talk to her.
  8. Hi After reading your story I really feel for you. It looks like you love this woman so much. I don't think you should give up on her at all. Maybe time is really all she needs, and reading the last two lines she seems to be getting her head sorted. One thing I want to ask you is, are you sure there isn't anyone else on her side? As that can make a woman undecisive sometimes - i mean which man to go for... You have obviously made up your mind, that she is the one you want to be with no matter what, and if she says she loves you as much as she does, she should make a step forward. Have you tried talking to her properly about it? Have it all out on the table is sometimes the best way. You seem so much in love, and I really do hope it works out for you. All the best.
  9. Hi Vert No, we didn't have an arranged marriage. yes he is asian-british, but i'm eastern european. I met him at work and we just hit it off. It was hard for him to break the news to his family, but we went for it and now people are starting to accept us - still hard work though!
  10. Hi babe After reading your story I have to say it reminded my some of my past (i'm married now..). I don't think you should let your Ex talk you into seeing her again. She seems insecure, and also, like a little girl that can't make her mind up about what candy she wants... it must've been hard for you to "get over" her, so now, you are enjoying your life - don't let her creep back in. I did the same, my ex was doing the same thing to me, but i put my foot down, got him out of my life - no calls, texts, letters - nothing, and now i'm as happy as i could be. But the final decision is with you. Either talk to her about what she wants (if that's what you feel you want to to), or just tell her to leave you alone. Hope it works...
  11. Hi I can understand it must be quite upsetting for you. Wedding is supposed to be the biggest and happiest day of you life. You should enjoy going round and choosing things yourself - or with him, and his mother should step back a bit. And he needs to tell her! Did you try to sit down with him and talk about it? I mean, without shouting and screaming at each other. Sorry to say, but it looks like he doesn't really want to get married, as if he meant it from the heart he would've bought you a ring by now and wouldn't mess about. I think you really need to talk. If you can't talk now, then what will happen in 10 years time? Good luck babe
  12. Hi guys! Thanks for all your replies. Yes we do talk, a lot actually, he knows how i feel, and tries to get his family to easy on a bit. He's been very supportive in all this, and when i ask him about it, he takes time to explain it all. He's totally fantastic in all this, but i do think his family have a strong influence on him. Yes i was aware of it all before i got married to him, but what you have to remember is that in Asian culture you can't actually "date" or see each other until you are married, so i was going round his house only to get myself familiar with his family and the way of life. I love him and (now) his family too, but as some of you said, the religion habbits to get to me sometimes. My husband is only asking me for some time. Which i know i need to do. I need to be more patient. When we are on our own, everything is fine, and we live a "normal westernised" life, it's only when we visit his family - which i only do on weekends. Yes he married me for who i am, and doesn't want me to change, but he loves his family and is trying to compromise there. I think he sometimes feels like a piggy in the middle, trying to keep both sides happy. One thing is sure and that is i'm not thinking of leaving him, as we only just got married and i love him to bits. I know that we can get through this difficult period, although I know it's going to be a bumpy ride! And you are right, woman's position in Islam is to be known as "2nd class citizen ", which is extremely hard to get used especially when we go to some wedding's or do's - as women party alone! They wear scarfs on their heads, when there is a "strange" man around. I don't do that. Because I'm not comfortable with it. and Chai714 thanks for your email. I love to see happy stories! And you are a true example of it. I wish things were the same here, but because i love him, I'm willing to do this. What i didn't tell you is that he has moved out and we live together, and in Asian culture - guys never move out, so this is another issue we deal with, as his family is still hurt about that. So yes it's all about sacrificies....
  13. I met this guy over a year ago, and we got married nearly 4 weeks ago. I love him to bits, but i'm white and he is asian. We had an asian wedding, his family likes me, and are over coming the barriers however I'm finding the whole culture change very difficult, and sometimes we fall out because of it. I wear asian clothes when i go round to see his family. I don't eat and drink what i used to. In fact that has stopped and I miss it so much. I'm feeling so down as I love him and I do all this for him, but whatever i do, it doesn't seem to be enough. There is so much more to do, now I've become a muslim, i have to learn the language, i have to learn more about the culture, get used the "the woman's" position in Islam. I'm scared, i don't know whether I'll be able to do it all. He is so sweet to me, and loves me to bits, but sometimes he forgets how much change i'm actually going through. His family have changed my name to a "muslim" one and i found that very upsetting. I feel like my personality is being changed. Is there anyone who's done this, how does it work? is it all going to be ok? there is so much I could write about, but i find it too upsetting. I think i'm having a bad day....
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