AloneTO

Hey there thanks for the reply 🙂 I should have mentioned this, but at all points in time one of us has been attached, and he was on and off with a girl whom I was also friends with for about 13 years. I am no longer friends with her, they have been broken up for a while, and despite all the years of friendship I feel like all the "positives" above are fairly new.

Thanks for the reply 🙂 Yes, at all points in time, one of us has always been attached. I also met him and became friends with him and his girlfriend at the same time, so despite them being on the outs, I never would have acknowledged my feelings or pursued anything out of respect for her. 2 years ago she pulled some very unfair and ugly games in an attempt to trap him into marriage while their relationship was ending, and she tried to drag me into it. In July this year, her and I finally had it out and I cut her off for good. He and I have always gotten along, been part of the same friend group etc., but since I cut ties with her I think we've gotten a lot closer. Sorry to ramble lol

Hi all, I was previously on this site, but took a long break to find myself and seek out therapy. I spent a number of years trying to convince myself that I'm self fulfilled and content with being alone. It had been a difficult road, but I have definitely improved my life from a financial and stability standpoint, along with being happy in my own company. But therapy taught me to acknowledge my true feelings, and long-held feelings for one of my guy friends that I have been in denial about. I have known him more than 10 years, so although he's a bit shy, we are very comfortable with each other. I'm 35, so this feels childish, but I've been pulling apart the "he likes me, he likes me not" pedals of the flower, and really don't know if I'm giving myself false hope. Any outside perspective opinions are welcome! Positives: -he makes an effort to see me -shows interest in my hobbies and steps out of his comfort zone with me -is the last one to leave when I have a group of friends over, and we just spend hours talking -has been showing increased interest in my family and plans for the future -acts a bit nervous (plays with his hair, shys away from eye contact, etc.) -usually interacts with me in group social situations -has been opening up a lot more about feelings when we are alone -remembers a lot of small details about me or our conversations -puts up with people he's not particularly fond of to join social gatherings where I am -I think he once tried to get intimate with me a few years ago when we were on vacation, but we were both really drunk and never acknowledged it again -he often compliments me or sometimes calls me "babe" -he goes out of his way to make cute or funny jokes, or playfully teases me -always offers to drive me home if we're out somewhere and he doesn't see my car outside Negatives: -although he makes an effort to see myself and our friends when he's got time off, there is very little text conversation - I tend to be the one who reaches out more often, and text conversations are pretty short -he doesn't participate much or acknowledge stuff I post in group chats -he has told me that he fears dating in the friend circle as it cost him good friendships in the past (which I respect, but I find it unfair to be potentially painted with the same brush as his ex's) -while he does not talk about other women, he does mention that he's on dating apps and wants to "find a nice girl" Complications: -I am dying to tell him how I feel, but really fear the possible rejection and change in our friendship -he is very shy with women, so even if he is interested, I don't think he would ever make a move.. either that, or he's not interested enough to make a move... 😞