Matello77

I'm alright as I can be. Still shell shocked to be honest and it's triggered my CPTSD which exacerbates my feelings of inadequacy and worthlessness.

Hi Jen, To be honest, I would just rather let it be now because I've asked her twice and it's just made her angry. She isn't going to tell me if I push more. She may eventually tell me but I doubt it and I'm not expecting her to. I do agree with your linking arms comment, it was dark and we were walking through town. I thought it was a nice thnig to do. She said it wasn't that and now I'm leaning towards believing her. I think Wiseman2 probably got it right in that it wasn't a single incident.

I've mulled over your comments and on reflection I think it might be. This might be why she can't find the words to tell me as it's likely a few micro-events.

Unfortunately I think that sums it up in a nutshell. She doesn't care and has bailed out with no explanation. 🙁

Yes, that's correct. The linking arms comment wasn't forceful however on reflection it wasn't a question which in hindsight was wrong and not meant to be a command.

I wouldn't, no.

Thank you. You know, I hadn't though of it as disrespect but it is. I have a tendency to blame myself 100% for anything that goes wrong and believe that I must be defective. I'm wracking my brains trying to think of what it is when she could simply tell me. Unless she's embarrassed to tell me but I don't see why. It's why I posted on here asking for female advice. To see if anyone would know why she wouldn't say. It just seems so cruel to me to do this.

If I'm honest with myself, there is an attraction I have for her but I'd rather be friends than lose her altogether as she and her daughter enrich my life.

Hi everyone, I have a female friend I've known for 5 years. We go to the same sports club together and travel to competitions together. I've been to her house many times to help put up shelves etc and we sit and chat. I know her mother too and am on first name terms and have been round her house a few times. My friend is a single mum so her own mum was looking after her daughter the other Friday night when we went for some drinks with friends. My friend messaged her mum asking if she'd pick us both up and gift me a ride home. We left the bar and walked back to her mum's car. As it was cold and dark, part way there I had my hands in my jacket pockets. I just said "link your arm through mine". She did, didn't object. As we were good friends I thought this was ok. We got in the back of her mum's car and I thought she seemed she was sat as far away as she could be. Her daughter was very quiet too. When I was dropped off her mum waved but my friends daughter who usually enthusiastically waves at me didn't. Now my friend treats me with contempt. Picks fault in things I say. Doesn't engage in conversation, I get one word answers. I asked her if the linking arms the other Friday night was the reason. She said "what are you talking about? You overthink things. I would tell you if you annoyed me". I do overthink things but when I asked her a couple of days later if she was ok because she'd been short with me, she just said she had things going on and was sorry if she'd been that way with me. However It is only me she is that way with no-one else. I don't think she's being honest. But the behaviour has continued. It's unpleasant and upsetting to say the least She is clearly very angry with me and seems to have decided that our friendship is over by her actions not her words. She avoids me too. I have no choice now but to back off but I'm stunned after what seems one small mistake, if indeed it is that incident but I can't think of any other event. Why would she say it isn't incident if it is? Can anyone offer any insight into this? Thank you M.

I'd just like to say a huge thank you to everyone for your honest advice.

Thanks, what does read my sig mean?

She relies on me a lot at work so you are right. She wants to maintain the working relationship. Due to there being remote working she has contacted me to ask when I'm in the office so we can be in at the same time, even though we are not currently working on the same projects. No doubt to maintain a good working relationship and I've misread the signals.

I'm male and I've worked really well with a female colleague for a few years. We support each other in work but in recent weeks I have become a bit 'pushy' wanting to be more social outside of work. Inviting her to have lunch, offering to help out at weekends etc. She's tactful and says something like "that sounds good, thank you" or "that's kind of you" but never actually takes up the offer. Anyway I got a bit clingy last week, wanted to have a call before we finished work for Christmas. She couldn't she was busy. Since then she has been very distant. No contact initiated from her whereas previous lots of contact. If I initiated it's short answer and the type of answer that won't get a conversation going. My question is. Should I tell her that I've realised I've been pushy and will stop that as I don't want to damage our working relationship by making her uncomfortable nor want a situation where she no longer feels comfortable working with me on the same projects? Thanks in advance Matello