PaulB

I only found out about the bondage site because she told me about it while confessing all the other things.

I know you are right and once my mind is in the right place I'll probably do the right thing. I just never thought I'd have to go through this again.

Don't worry about that I already have an appointment

I have been with my partner for 7 years we have 3 young children and after many bad relationships in the past I thought I'd met Mrs right.. But after I got home from work today 20/12/21 she confessed to me that she lied about going to a friends hen party and slept with an old flame and then just last weekend she lied about going to see a university campus she wants to go to so she could go and meet another guy... As you can imagine I'm crushed I had no idea it was going on I've had to call my boss and tell him (not in detail) that I wont be able to come to work this week as I drive a forklift and I will not be able to drive in a safe manner with all this in my head luckily my boss is very understanding. This is what she said to me obviously I'm going to leave out some details but here it is..... For the first time she said it just happened there was a spark there and she just succumbed to it... By the way the first guy is married and so is the second one. The second time was with a guy she met through a bondage site and it wasn't supposed to lead to sex but it happened anyway. She told me she likes to be paddled/caned and as I wont do it she had to find it else where...... I knew she was kinda into this and have engaged with her in this but she has never ever told me that she wants to be properly spanked to a point it leaves bruises. that she showed me so that was fun.... She has also told me that she will not stop seeing him but she wants an open relationship and that she still loves me the same as she always has and nothing has to change. I replied with if you really wanted that kind of bondage you should of told me , it really isn't something I enjoy but I'm always happy to do new things if it's what she wants and it keeps her happy, I also told her she isn't giving me any kind of choice and although I have no way of stopping her from doing these things I will not be sleeping with anybody besides her and at the moment I don't want to. Even if I did agree to an open relationship I know her well enough that me sleeping with other people would drive her crazy I think she only said that to try and justify what she has done. I love her to bits and always have and right now I don't know what to do , I've told her we need to have a proper and rational discussion about this when my head is in the right place.... I hope I can sort something out with her I'm 40 and have already had enough relationship breakdowns to last a life time I don't want to loose her aswel or my children.