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kellbell

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Everything posted by kellbell

  1. I am The Portrait of the Counselor Idealist (iNFj). Fits me pretty good.
  2. One day a time, one day at a time. As every day passes, it will hurt lesser. The beginning is always hard but you always have to start somewhere. Hugs to ya sweetie.
  3. I know what you mean, I always dwell on the best times of my life when I am having a difficult time. Completely normal and common. I guess all I can say is take it one day at time. Sheesh, I sure wish I had your job, it sounds very exciting.
  4. Hey no problem, love can stink sometimes. Hang in there. oh pm mean private message, there's a little icon on the bottom of each post that says "pm"
  5. I am going to be blunt (sorry) but this guy is a big baby. Boohoo. If he expects a woman to bow to him and do what he wants, then let him date someone from China. Girl, you deserve so much better, I commend you for being very vocal about your needs (I wish I can be like that sometimes) and believe me, there are many men out there that would apprietate that. Let him go and let him get his sh!t straight. Geez, men like make me so mad.
  6. Why should you wait for him? I wouldn't. Let him go fix his life. In the meantime, I would move on with yours and maybe down the line, you 2 can be friends then. I would wait to get your stuff when he moves back in with his parents. When that happens, bring his stuff to his parents' house and do an even exchange. I still would not go over his house for dinner but that's just me. If he isn't as upset about the break-up as you are then he didn't value your relationship as much as you did, meaning you 2 were not meant to be girlfriend/boyfriend. Believe me, the beginning stages of a break-up is hard, but it will get easier, I promise. PM me if you ever want to talk. God, if I knew more then as I do now, I would be 21 again in a heartbeat.
  7. I agree with other posters, love and respect for one another usually prevails in a relationship if each other's personalities are a bit different. I think relationships end up in ruin when there is no communication. Everyone is going to have squabbles but if there are more bad times than good, then there is a problem. I agree with WinterRose, he is keeping you as Plan B, which is very shadey and disrespectful. It sounds like this young man has A LOT of growing up to do and believe me, you do NOT want to give in the middle of his "growing up" process. Too much drama and disappointing times ahead. Oh wishy washy means lacking in strength of character or purpose.
  8. Oh, I know exactly where you are coming from. The feelings of being "pathetic" and not strong. Then you hate yourself for not talking to him and hate yourself even more for giving in. Trust me, what you are going through and how you are feeling is normal and common. I think the best way to show your ex that you are upset without being or sounding pathetic is putting him on ice, meaning NC. When he calls, don't answer. If he texts you, don't respond or if you do, tell him your busy even if you are not. You have given him too much control, take some back. Putting him on ice is not being mean or bit*chy, it's simply stating that you won't tolerate being treated in such a way and that you are taking control of the siutation. He's right about you sitting around waiting for you to call him, you should not do that. It is pathetic to wait around for a man to call (been there, done that and it's sad). Don't be so accomidating to him and jump at any chance to be with him. If I were you, I would not go over to his place for dinner. He's having all the fun, he going out, getting drunk, going to ball games, while you sit and waddle through this, and he feels you will come to him at his beck and call. Too much fun and power on his part. Take some back. It's so much easier said than done because you care but believe me, it's for the best. It's hard, I know, I have been in your position before. Each day will get easier. I wish you the best and take care.
  9. I have to disagree, he does not understand. No man who repsects and understands your decision would call you names like "frigid." If you lose him over this, well, that's his bad. You two were not compatible. I wish you the best.
  10. I agree with Maggie, if this is the first time you are on BC, then I would wait awhile and make sure it is right for you. I have known women getting pregnant while on the pill because it was not the right pill for them. And you are very young, you body is changing. Not all BC is right for everyone, that is why there are so many brands out there. I recommend you use a condom for a while longer. I know you two are excited about the propsect of having sex without it but it's not worth the risk. Once you make sure the pill is right for you, then your man should masterbate before you have sex if you want to last a long time. Believe me, it works.
  11. Hey there, Based on what you wrote, he does not know how to make heads or tails of anything. Finanical debt can be very stressful (I am in a lot of debt at the moment) and it can put a hamper on any relationship. Especially when it is the other person who put you in debt (in my case). Anyhow, he should be more worried about gettting his money straight then worry about what woman he will be with or what man you will end up with. Still, debt should not keep couples apart, my boyfriend and I are still together. I think he is being very wishy washy and I would not read to much into what he says at the moment. It would be one thing if he had a plan set in motion on how to get himself set money wise, then you would have something to work with, but this guy does not even have a job! I would steer very very clear from a man who financial situation is in shambles. I'm stuck right in the middle of a financial mess with my BF right now and there are times when I have had panic attacks. I guess if I were you, I would find a guy with a few bucks in the bank, has is sh!t straight, and has a job. I know it sounds harsh and maybe materialistic but money and debt can be stressful and and you are too young to deal with it. Go out and have fun and let this guy get his life straight. I wish you the best and take care.
  12. He's out having fun. The cat's away so the mice will play. Believe me, this sudden burst of feeling free will fade after a few days and he will begin to miss you. I did the same thing (not drinking) but going out, staying out late, shopping, when my BF was on the road quite a bit. Then I would start to miss him. You might want to mention you are conerned for his safety when he goes out and drinks. But the fact he is going out, I would leave that alone because it is no way a refelction on you or your relationship.
  13. Maybe you guys can come up with a compromise. Like putting away special times for you two do things without video games. Because otherwise, I don't see a solution. If you guys are mature enough to live together, then surely you two can work something out. Video games can get very addicting, there are a few I got very addicted to but the interest faded after awhile. My boyfriend goes into spirts too, he will buy a game he really likes, play it all the time, then he gets bored. But while he is fixated on the game, I do my own thing, like watch movies he would never watch, talk on the phone with my friends. You might want to try that as well if you have not already. I do agree with the other posters though, he should be a little more senstitive about your feelings torwards this manner. Good luck and take care.
  14. Hey there, I am so sorry you endured such verbal abuse. None of this is your fault, even if you do have some shortcomings, it's not excuse to yell and scream at a person. You are so much better without him. I know it's hard not to have any contact with him and the need to apologize. DON'T!! The only thing you have to be sorry about is putting up with his crap for so long. By the way, the one who usually accuses the person of cheating or gets all crazy over the prospect of cheating, is cheating. It's always the guilty one who acts like that. Either way, this guy is a loser and a coward. Hang in there, it will get easier. Take care.
  15. I love this one: "You're too good for me." I got that one from one loser. Means, I am not into you. That has to be one of the biggest cop-out break up lines ever!!!
  16. Hey there, I just wanted to start with by saying you can't possibly love someone who abuses you in any way, it's called dependence. Maybe she is getting the hint with this NC thing and she is moving on with her life. You mentioned she found another guy to be with, she probably was with him all day yesterday. I can guarentee she will contact you when she is alone, to see what you're doing and if you are alone. Women are weird about stuff like that, they move on but the thought of her ex being with another woman wigs them out (been there, done that). Can't explain it, don't know why. That's why it's best to cut ex's out of your life for good so can heal and move on. I guess the best thing is for you to stick to the NC and heal day by day. If she calls you, texts you, don't respond because that will put you at square one. Why should she have all the fun while you waddle through this, while maintainin some control over you? She is holding all the cards and liking it. It hurts, break-ups are never easy. I would try to take it one day at a time, hang around friends and family who care. I wish you the best and take care.
  17. That's mean if he's called you "friged" before. That's wrong. I think you should go out with someone else who has the same values as you. He's trying to bog you down in hopes that you will give in. Not cool. Ten months is a noteworthy amount of time but not that long either. Any man who makes you feel guilty about your values and morals and call you names is a jerk. Period. End of story. Kick the guy to the curb before you really get hurt and do something you will regret. Best of luck to you and take care.
  18. dang, sorry about all the typos. I mean I really love it and have no side effects or problems with it at all.
  19. Hey there, I took the shot for a couple of years and HATED IT!!! It was cool at first, no periods, no PMS. But after awhile, I had mood swings, weight gian, and no sex-dirve, my poor boyfriend. It does not regulate your periods, it goes away, however, you can "spot" at anytime and for how long is anyone's guess. I highly recommend the patch, Ortho Evra, if you have a hard time remembering to take a pill. But all BC is different for everyone, however, I really loke the patch. No problems with it all at.
  20. Hey there, Here's what I think what may have happened, The fact that he answered the phone when he knew it was not your number is weird and he knew you were waiting which is pretty lame. I don't know, I think he did not take this "date" as seriously as you did and he was out clowning around until you called him on it. Because if he was serious about seeing you he would have been there. I have learned over the years, if a guy is really into you, then he would keep his word. Plus, he would not keep a lady waiting, IMO. No manners. If I were you, I would not speak to him for awhile, put him on ice, tell him your busy. Make him work for you! Because this will continue if you let him because he knows you will wait for him. Take this a lesson. Guys will s@#hit if you let them. Good luck to you and take care.
  21. Bamboo, it could be one of two things, he's very shy and not sure where to go with this. So as others suggested, I would simply ask if he is interested so you can put you mind to rest. Or it can be, as Beec wrote, he is playing the aloof card, and believe, many, many guys play this card A LOT! Been there, done that. It's sort of a test. So if that's the case, I would play aloof back. Guys always shy away from needy clingy girls. So instead of saying they don't want you, they act like a jerk instead. No guy feels honest telling a girl that he is not interested so they play the jerk so get you to back off (always seems to have the opposite effect though). That's just my take on the whole thing. Someone once told me that the person who cares the least, always control the situation. This seems to be the case here. Good luck and take care.
  22. Like the others said, there is not much you can do. I was in her position before where I only liked a guy as a friend but he wanted more. He was like a brother to me and thought of being with him gave me the creeps. It's nothing personal, believe me. So if you can handle keeping in contact with her, then I would continue doing what you have been doing, if not, move on.
  23. Hey there, I have a question. I have been with my boyfriend for over 3 years and we have living together for little over 2 years. I am ready for marriage and children. We are both 28, be 29 this year. Have very good careers, so we are not in school. He does not seem ready and skates arounf the issue if I bring it up. In your opinion, what are the chances of a live-in boyfriend proposing to the girl? I really want this work but at the same time I don't to wait around for something that might not come. Thank you so much for doing this and taking the time to read my post.
  24. Respect that she has a boyfriend at the moment, back off and see what happens. I know you care about her but you need to care about yourself too. Go out and have some fun in the meantime.
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