Hello! I'm new here and I made this account just for this! I want someone's insight on this situation I'm in right now if it isn't too much of a bother. 🙂
⚠️Wall of text coming through ⚠️
Around the end of October, my LDR boyfriend told me that he might be busy during November since he got a job, his friends want to hangout and I know he'd be studying for his upcoming university entrance exams this December. He told me this means that he'd have less time for me and I said I understand that, but he should at least keep me updated if he's still doing well. Well, yeah, before November even came, he started talking to me less, way less than how we usually would talk. It was fine with me though, I figured it was nice that he still manages to respond despite his hectic schedule. The issue started when he'd stop responding altogether. I'd see him online and his Discord status would state that he's playing a game for hours. I thought that maybe he's just taking a break to shake away the stress for a bit and didn't want to socialize with anyone. He's an antisocial guy. I waited for days, still no response. I decided to ask him if he's doing alright and assured him that I am not pressuring him to respond if he's still busy and that he can respond whenever he can. Almost immediately, he responded and said he didn't respond to my message because he has nothing to say.
We voice called. Throughout the duration of that voice call, he barely said anything. Sometimes no response at all as if he didn't hear me say a thing even if I were to ask him a question, but he'd randomly laugh and tell me he's laughing over a funny video. I decided to shift the topic to whatever it is he's watching, but he'd tell me it's nothing interesting and we should talk about something else, so I'd find a new topic to mention and again, little to no response. I thought it was nice that he's having fun though, I wasn't upset about it and still am not. What I am upset about is the weeks following this event.
After that call, we had another one, but in this call, it was silent. I'd talk and he won't respond at all, not even laugh over a video, nothing. It felt like I was talking to a brick wall so I got upset and asked him if he can hear me, he said he wasn't saying anything because he has nothing to say. He did kind of make up for it by being sweet before the voice call ended, he said "I love you" then we both went to sleep. And that was the last he ever said that.
After that last voice call, he almost never responds to my messages anymore. I also noticed that every time I'd go online, he goes offline. Thought it was a coincidence until it kept happening every time for almost a week (I still think might be a coincidence, but my gut says otherwise so I'm confused on what to believe). I confronted him about it, asked him if we're doing okay and if something is wrong between the two of us, he said everything is fine and I left it at that.
And then for almost a week, he didn't respond to my messages at all or went online. I got really worried so I discreetly checked up on him by telling him about my day in hopes he'd tell me about his. He hates it when people show him they care, he's not used to it, so I thought that checking up on him discreetly would be the better option. He responded almost immediately and we had a short conversation. After that, he stopped responding again and I just decided to give him time, he did say that he'd be busy that month.
We didn't talk for days until I striked up a conversation with him and we talked normally like how we used to before he got busy. We didn't talk for days again after that since he won't reply or go online, apparently he was asleep. I messaged him during out monthsary and he just replied to tell me he's going to sleep. I told him I feel like he's avoiding me and stated pretty much everything I'm saying in this forum right now. He told me that he's not avoiding me and that he's just busy and got nothing to say. I was also upset about him ignoring my monthsary message and about how he won't talk to me so I told him I'm sad about it, he kind of got irritated that I was keeping him up from sleeping when confronted about it, so I apologised since I figured he might be tired from a busy day.
I tried to talk to him again during his birthday because I made a present for him and wanted to greet him, but he never responded. He never returns the I love you I tell him or the goodnight messages or the good morning messages anymore. He told me he wants me to tell him good morning after I wake up and goodnight before I sleep, so I stayed consistent even when he doesn't respond. I want to ask him if he's still happy being in a relationship with me, but I want to ask through a voice call at least so I kept asking him when he'd be free, his responses are very vague. Just a couple days ago, I saw him online and messaged him if we can talk since it's important. He said he's going to sleep and immediately went offline. I messaged him goodnight with an "I love you" to see if he'd return it. None, he went online and read my message, but then immediately went back off.
I suppose that it wouldn't really be fruitful if I were to ask what I should do with out relationship. Whether I should break up with him or not. I just want someone else's insight regarding this pickle I am in, that's all. I suppose I want a different perspective regarding this, I could be wrong and he could really just be busy while I'm over here overthinking after all. Thank you for your time! 🙂 I unfortunately can't really give a tl;dr since I don't know I can possibly summarize this mess lol, sorry.
