RosieJ

From my previous post- I was dating a guy for nearly a year and I broke up with him 3 months ago because he didn’t want to commit to being a boyfriend. After 2 months of no contact he came back asking for me to come back and he promise he will take our relationship serious. I was reluctant but gave it a try because I felt he was sincere. And Also still had feelings for him. He’s vague about our relationship. Meaning he doesn’t talk about future plans for us. We are both in our early 30’s and I would like to be sure about where we are heading because I would like to settle down and start a family. He makes an effort for us to see each other more than before but still he’s behavior hasn’t changed. He barely takes me out on dates, I never met any friends/family, (his mom died and doesn’t have a good relationship with his father, and his siblings are out of state.) still never met his friends.all he wants for me to do is Come over when he gets off work late night and hangout until it’s time for me to work. That’s 3-4 nights a week ans I work the night shift on other days. Both Our work schedule is odd. The problem is he’s still very cold. I know he cares about me but he doesn’t talk about feelings. He doesn’t tell me he loves me, no reassurance. I don’t feel emotionally supported. 2 weeks after we got back together His best friend got killed. And his attitude has gotten worst. He blames his attitude because of his friends death but he was cold before that and his friends death only heightened his bad attitude. I don’t want to try working on the relationship anymore i want to know when Is it a right time to break it up. I know he’s going through a tough time but I’m cheating myself out of finding real love and can’t stand to be around him anymore. I try to let him know it’s not working out but he accuse me leaving him when he’s down. It makes me feel bad because I recently lost a parent and he was somewhat supportive and I know how it feels when you need a friend and he barely has family around and I don’t want him to feel worst. I wake up and pray to God for answers on how to move forward. I’m tired of being pushed away and I’m not even getting my emotional needs met. Relationships shouldn’t be this hard when I tell him I’m not happy, he says we’re adults now and happiness isn’t relevant: I don’t know how to feel about it. I feel stuck supporting him when I’m emotionally exhausted myself. I want out and want to know when is it a good time to cut communication.

Thank you all for your responses. I took time to read each (all) answers at least twice lol. Happy to say I broke it off completely with the guy right after New Year. It’s been almost two months since the break up and I’m very happy and secure in my decision. Taking this time to better my mind, myself, and hopefully meet the right one soon.

I’m 30 and my guy is 33. We both don’t have children and never been married. We started casually dating 8 months ago, going on dates and spending time in the house on the weekends. We never made it official because I honestly didn’t want to commit right away because I wasn’t fully invested in him due to him being distant. He has a military style attitude and doesn’t like to express his feelings. Although we date often, there is little communication in between dates. I explained my concerns and we started to talk a little more but after 8 months we still can’t commit to talking everyday. I’m at the point where I’m ready for a commitment and every time I try to bring it up he runs from the conversation. Honestly I’m not sure if I want to commit to HIM, he checks off some things I want in a partner but the most important thing I want a man to have Is good personality. He’s a nice guy but he’s distant. He doesn’t tell me how he feels or never express if he wants to make things exclusive. He also disappears whenever we have small disagreements or doesn’t get his way. He deals with that by walking away, calls and try to make up 2 days later, and it has beeen a pattern of his. I know no one is perfect But I think these are major red flags. I’m at the point where I want to walk away because there’s no reason why I should have relationship problems with someone I’m not officially with. I think he likes the non spoken understanding we have and doesn’t want more but insist that I still see him every time I try to leave. I’m torn as if I should try to be more vocal and explain to him how I really feel or should I just take his behavior as he’s not interested in anything more and walk away. I’m honestly tired of dating. Before him I was single for two years, I use to go on dates here and there but he’s the only guy ive gotten Physical with and connected with more. friends/family tell me to give it more time because I’m almost 31 and In a Caribbean household you need to be married and with 3 children by my age lol and that’s why I kept trying but it’s exhausting and I’m not even getting the full him. Please don’t judge me for what I’m saying next: Honestly I’m scared to be single for another 2 years and have to get to know someone and see if we match or not. Especially coming from a doctors appointment where they telling me if I don’t plan on having children soon then I should have to freeze my eggs!! I know most women will understand we do have a biological clock ticking and to be completely honest I’ve thought about just trying to make it work with him cause i do think he’ll be eventually commit he just won’t do it now. And me I’m not sure about him. So we both still trying to figure it out but it’s been 8 months and no real progress. We both have doubts. Should I end it ?