My GF of 10 months and I broke up a month ago. During that time I've accepted that we are not a good match and the way we are we should not be together. We had an amazing time and all, but our values do not align and things took a toxic turn and trust was broken.
Now she keeps texting me and telling me she loves me and wants to be with me. She is refusing to move on. She has a list of mental health problems and she is stuck in time on a pathological level. In the sense that she hasn't washed her sheets since I last slept in them, she hasn't slept in her bed but on the couch for a month, she has done absolutely nothing that she enjoys that we used to do together. Her days are work, watch the same 5 episodes of whatever show (she didn't tell me I didn't ask), and sleep on the couch. She spent the first 2 weeks numb suppressing her emotions and in denial. She didn't even cry. The next 2 weeks she just existed the way she is now. She hasn't gotten rid of any of our things. She has essentially left her apartment untouched. She hasn't been eating (anorexia is part of her list of mental health conditions). She has turned to substance abuse to cope. I know that me walking away is just going to ruin her. She had a friend who passed (not even a bf) a couple years ago. She repressed and didn't cry for the first several months, she didn't attend the funeral, and only visited his grave after we met 1.5 years after it happened. So I cant imagine how this will affect her. She has no family, and she has only 1 or 2 friends. She has childhood trauma and this is how she copes. I am concerned that in refusing to move on and to confront her grief and work through the emotions this will just be another trauma in her life. She stopped her therapy sessions because they would bring me up and she says it's too painful. What do I do?
I know I'm not responsible for her and her future. I also recognize that she is being self destructive and she doesn't leave herself much room for a future the way she is going. Is there some way to help her? Should I encourage her to do therapy again? Should I just cut her off for a couple months and see what happens? She has attempted suicide in the past and I is verbalizing she is starting to struggle with suicidal feelings again. I would feel a terrible guilt and burden if I cut her off to find out she ended her life. I do care about her and love her. And if she didn't do some of the things I learned she is capable of because of her mental illness we would be together. But I cannot be with her or feel comfortable or secure. What do I do?
I need some real advice about how to approach this situation because it is complicated and needs to be done carefully because her future and maybe even life is potentially at stake. Nothing I said in the above is an exaggeration in the slightest.
Thank you everyone.
