boze

no i was making a joke about wiseman2 question, he asked if i was browsing for women, yeah of course, i'm not ready for guys 😂 I am single for 6 months now and i was really over her, i don't know the fact that she came on fb talking to me and asking me questions etc bring me into her again. i have no friends around me they are all maried in another town, doesn't help to stop thinking about nostalgic stuffs... and yes you are right, i should block her 😞 i never asked her to stop dating app

we were able to talk to each other on the app without swiping right or left, because we matched already a year ago ^^ but yeah, i believe too she is the weird one (well i'm not perfect also) but she clearly showed interest at first.. it made me remembering some good moment with her and i feel *** again, i hate myself... yes i do, i'm not ready to brows for guys, but maybe i would have less problems 🥲

wow that's crazy that you remember ! it was 6 months ago! actually i was healing, was thinking about her from time to time but not much, and seeing her on the dating website shocked me, i got something weird in my heart and my belly. Then when i tried to talk to her, she came on facebook and she really seemed interested that's how i got some hope and i got back into her... She is now on like 3 differents dating app... and she got a twin sister who is on these app too... two twins that are 32y old on the same dating app, a bit weird and i see their face all the time... I know that she is weird, even now that's so weird that she though the video was for her, and so weird she though i blocked her on the app while i just deleted my account... So yeah i know that maybe she is not the right person for me... but i also know that i did mistakes, i'm always thinking maybe if i didn't do those mistakes she would be different with me. i'm seeing a psychologist, she told me, maybe she would ask for more if i did everything right, but yeah can't know i will have to forget her again, i did it one time and i don't know, talking to her just 3 days made me into her again 😞 so stupid

thanks for all your reply ! i already wrote my last message and sometimes i want to send it sometimes i don't want, it's weird lol 😅 and btw the video i put on my wall, i was not trying to get her attention because i don't have her in my friendlist and in my native langage "rage" can have two meanings, i don't know if it's the same in english, but there is the rage of winning, and the rage of anger. in my case for the video it was the rage of winning, but she came checking my wall and though it was rage of anger because of her (anger showing my biceps ? it's weird lol). Even my friends said that it was weird she though that lol, and same when i deleted my account on the date app, why did she came asking "why you blocked me on the app". i will never know, some people told me she tried to see if i still wanted her and when she knew she got her ego boost and then she could leave again, i don't know and will probably never know, but it could be. Of course i worked on myself those 6 months, i know that it would be different this time, not sure if i should accept the friendship because with girls once you are in friendzone, it's pretty difficult to get out of it 😞 and i will probably be sad to see her dating other guys too.

I reached out because she visited my profil on the date app, i said hi to her then i closed the app... (because i was scared of her reply) then she reached on facebook asking why i was not replying on the app then i posted a video of me showing my biceps on facebook and i wrote" you can see the rage from my biceps" she came back asking me if this video was for her and asked if i was angry because i saw her on the date app, i told her no it was just a cool sentence that come with the video, nothing about her and i was not angry... then i deleted the date app because i was sad to see her face there everytime, and because she was not seeing me on the app anymore, she though i blocked her... she came asking me : why did you block me on the date app ? you're weird ! i said no i didn't block you, i just deleted the app. then we talked about our life etc... honestly she showed some interest at first and she was also a bit weird thinking that everything was about her. i don't know but yeah anyway, if i don't write anything to her, i can't show that i changed in 6 months and worked on myself... and i really like this girl. 😞

how to show any change and how to say that i realised my mistakes, if i can't write anything to her ?

Hello everyone... So here is my story, i dated a 31y girl i met on a dating app, we were together for 6 months... and after she decided to break up with me... That was mostly my fault, i would say i was not emotionally available because of my previous relationship and i was neglecting her... (for exemple she wanted to see me all the time, and i wanted to see her only on week end). Well, she broke up with me eventhough i told her that i'm gonna change and did all the bad things (begged, pleaded, made a gift etc...) it didn't work, she is a strong woman and kinda stubborn too (she is a military). 😢 So i decided to go no contact and move on with my life... And 6 months passed... So we were together 6 months and i went 6 months no contact. And i saw her on a dating website 2 weeks ago... Honestly it hurted and I told myself well, I have nothing to loose let's send her a message... I got surprised she seemed happy to talk to me and came talking to me on facebook by herself, she looked kinda interested honestly, at least it's how i was feeling it... And after 3 days talking, she told me that we could continue talking but i should not think about anything "more". I told her that i'm not interested in friendship and I walked away... now it's been 2 weeks without talking to her and i'm seeing her face on every dating app, it's getting me crazy...I still have feeling for her and i think about it all the time... I have a friend who got his gf back sending her a letter and saying how sorry he was etc... (but it's different he was in couple for 4 years...) Me it was only a 6 months relationship but i would REALLY love to have another chance with this girl because i honestly believe that i can give alot more than what i did, i realised my mistakes. Of course i can't force her... but do you think i could try to send her a last message ? opening my heart and telling her what i feel and how am i now, i just want to be sure that i'm not doing more harm than good... Some people say the letter is a big NO and for some it worked... i also feel i have nothing to loose but yeah, like i said, i don't want to make it worse (if it's possible to make it worse lol). thanks you for your help!

thank you for your reply 😞

so basically, if i want another chance with her, i should reach out and not wait for her if she want to reach out ? i mean, if i have 5% of chance of getting her back, i just dont want to hurt it by doing something stupid, thank you

some people claimed that their short interests (a few weeks/months) came back more often than their long relationship, so i guess it depends too ? i don't know. but yes i agree with you that people who broke up, when they get back together, it often break again.

why i see couple getting back together often, and why for me, ship is sailed, i'm always wondering that, but i can understand yes

yeah i know, but i don't think i want to heal or something, i think i want her back 😞 and i just don't know how should i behave to get another chance.

thanks, i don't think i am in acceptance, i feel more i am into panic mode en want to reach out to her so bad, i'm asking to myself why she put everything private on facebook eventhough i kinda know it, it's painful damn, i hurt my belly and it gives me diarrhea (sorry saying this) it's weird how emotions can affect our body. 😞

sorry to reply only now, i tried to heal and didn't think about it but i just can't... i just saw she posted a new picture on facebook (i don't have her in my friendlist anymore), but she put everything in private, the old profil picture are gone with the comments, and for the new profil picture, i can't see who liked it and who commented on it, everything is private totally, she probably got a new bf i don't see why she would do that if not. i hurt in my belly a lot, i feel like i want to puke and got diarrea at the same time... the feeling is terrible

you mean about the fact that she reached out asking me this weird question ? or about what i said before ? thanks

she just wrote to me... !!!! and its so weird about a joke i made on facebook 3 months ago... 3 months ago my friend commented on my wall something funny like : i prefere grannies, then you don't feel the teeth when she give a bl*wjob. i replied to him : no i like feeling the teeth ! and she got angry at me, she said, "why you put those things on your wall, it's really ridiculous, it's a shame". I said sorry and i deleted it. and it was 3 monts ago... its getting old And one hour ago (at around 1 AM ***) she reached out asking me : "when you said this joke about feeling the teeth, was it about me??" i replied "hi, how are you ? no my friend made a joke you can check on facebook his wall is full of jokes, i was simply replying to his joke, but i was not thinking about you at all... i don't talk about you to my friends, he just knows how you look from your pic" she said : ok i was wondering, i just wanted to know that, thanks for replying i said : no problem so weird, she didn't reply to my "how are you ?" , i'm wondering why she reached out for that.... is it an excuse to see if i'm still chasing her or maybe she did something with a guy and it turned bad and she feels insecure ? it's weird... anyyway i replied and tried to don't chase or beg, i think i did the right thing but it's pretty weird reaching out and asking this... 😑

And i understand you guys, i should not have dated anyone when i was not ready and healed from my previous relationship 😞 i have a story with her to share you want to know your advice... Around 10 years ago i got a lips problem, my lips were so dry and i put something on my lip to moisturise it (some kind of lip balm) and a day later i got a tiny white dot on my lip, and a day later another one... And those white dots were growing in numbers... I got scared, i showed my lips to a skin doctor, and he said that those white dots are normal, some people have them and i should not be worried about it... I told him that i didn't have that before putting the lip balm and it was growing in numbers, he didn't believe me. After weeks, my problem was getting worse and worse and i was getting very scared... i saw horrible pictures on google of people full of white dots on their lips, it was almost covering all the upper lip... and I didn't want to become like that... And a guy on a forum said that he put jojoba oil on his lips and that it helped him a lot. I put jojoba oil on my lips for like a year and It solved my problem... for some people it didn't work but for me, luckily it worked. I found a girlfriend, and i kissed her while she was wearing some shiny moisturiser (those glossy things for girls) and those ***ty white dots came back... I got one, then two, and it was growing in number again day by day... I told my gf "now when you kiss me, wear your moisturiser after kissing me please because my lips react badly to it and i got those weird dots." She was ok, i put jojoba oil again and the issue was solved after many months again (got very scared that it would not go away because like i said, for some people this condition doesn't go away even with laser treatment). Everything was fine after and we stayed together 1 year and half. Me and this girl broke up, I got another girlfriend and I immediatly told her my problem, that my lip react badly when i put moisturiser on it, so if she could avoid to wear it before kissing me. She said ok, we stayed 4 years together without any issues. I never had any problem when i was telling this issue to any girls... And then when i met my last girlfriend, i remember one day we kissed... and she had something on her lips. I told her " Do you have something on your lips ??" She replied : "Yeah it's my cream, normally it's for the body, but i put it on my lips, it help when it's dry" I immediately washed my lip and i told her my problem, I explained everything i just said (with more details of course) and then i asked her if she could put her cream after kissing me, not before. She replied : "you know my cream is very important for me, i can't stop putting it on" I said "yeah, but we don't see each other everyday, it should be fine no ? and when we are together, just wear it when you know that we won't kiss each other" she said : "I really really love this cream ! it's my habit ! just check the ingredients, there is nothing armful inside, even babies can put it on!"" I replied :"i don't know what cause me this, one time it was a lip balm, another time my ex was wearing some kind of lip gloss, I really don't know what is doing this to me, so i won't be able to know if it's safe or not even if i check the ingredients in your cream and i can't take the risk" She said : "I know but i don't like changing my habit, i like to put this really often..." I replied : "then if we are together and your lips are dry, can you try jojoba oil ? it cost only 8 euros... it's cheap and natural, and when we don't kiss or are not together, you put your cream ?" She didn't want. After a few days she showed me that she finally purchased jojoba oil and she said :" you see i'm so kind to you, i bought it" .(but months passed and she put it on only one time, she didn't like it lol) So anyway, when we broke up... she told me about why she wanted to break up with me: "You don't take care of me enough", "we always pay half/half at the restaurant", she talked about the popcorns joke she tooks seriously, and she ALSO said : "and i can't put my cream when i want, you didn't even check the ingredients it was making me upset.." I told her again the issue, that i didn't know what was causing me this so i was trying to avoid any moisturiser. what do you think about this story ?

With me... She wanted to "pacse" It's a kind of marriage in my country, It's like a "light" marriage but It's still something kinda important, and she talked about it like 2 months before leaving me and I told her that we should wait a little bit. She told me that she didn't want anything serious with the guy who offered this watch so she got scared that's why she left him. But of course when she told me all these stories, leaving a guy for this, leaving another one for that, leaving her friend, wanting to leave her mom... Of course It didn't help me to put down my wall, got scared and I was telling myself ok, she will get rid of me soon, especially when she was mad at me when i came 15 mins late stuffs like that. I don't know if she is a narcissist but she said that her father was one, we used to talk about it because i told her that my ex was a narcissist liar. Maybe she is back with the guy who offered her the watch i don't know,she didn't come back to the dating website i met her it's weird. 😞

thank you for replying me, i was with the crazy ex for 9 months and i believe she was a narcissist and was lying all the time, even for foods, if you asked her what fruits did you eat she could replies that she ate an orange and in fact it was an apple, a really sick person. But also very manipulative and smart. No i was not talking to the crazy ex when i met my new gf ^^ I know i sucked so much, and that's why i hate myself now because i really liked this girl, it's when they leave that we can see that they were important ^^ BTW i don't think i played the victim i just told her my story and that i needed time, and she told me her story too... her previous break up was kinda weird she told me she got rid of a guy because he bought an expensive watch to her, it was too expensive and it scared her so she left him lol What's "funny" is, i was kinda the opposit of that dude, and she left me too lol but i think she can leave guys pretty fast because she knows that she is pretty, and since she is military, she is strong so it's probably easier for her. but yeah i know that i f*cked up anyway, especially by not wanting to see her everyday and saying only on week end... i'm trying to leave her alone now, didn't bother her for 10 days, it's very difficult when you are full of regrets... i'm kinda back to my previous state when i met her, i can't eat, can't sleep, lost tons of weight, thinking all the time and it's soon my birthday and i will be alone, all my friends are in different town ^^ and i probably deserve this sh*t

i don't know man, as you can see, wiseman2 said i was the jerk in the story, i don't know, and you see, sometimes i feel she was not a very good girl and a few hours i will feel i was a jerk like he said and that i deserve what happened to me, but i'd really like another chance because i know that i can give more. but she was a military so yeah, i think she is a strong person that like to control and since she is hot she doesn't bother on guys that make things difficult. she said normally she get rid of guys alot faster than this but with me she really wanted to try. i don't know, i can't stop feeling guilty and having regret, but i do believe she is also a bit weird and she was not helping me.

thank you for helping me, She was sharing my humor at first when we were in the seduction phase, laughing all the time and saying silly things... she changed with time and months, 6 months later every joke i was making was making her upset, i think she was already thinking about leaving me. Yeah i have no trust in myself now, i feel like a bag of poo or a trash, i feel so bad.. But no, every 10 days i try to come and say hello, what's up but i don't beg anymore. My last attempt i just said i was thinking about her and wanted to say hi, thats when she said that : "oh 🙂 " "you can come saying hello anytime you want, what's up ?" but i was talking way more than she was, like i was saying 3 sentences she was replying 2 words, so i just stopped talking. That smile " 🙂 " i don't know, there is something weird about it and i hate it lol i think she knows i'm reaching out because i miss her. But no i stopped begging i did it the first 2 weeks... it's gonna be 10 days without speaking to her again today ^^ i feel weak af, but i think that i won't reach out.

thank you for your reply and for the time you took to read me ! Yeah I can't be sure, when someone leave me, I have tendency to put this person on a pedestal and thinking that she is a princess and that I will never find someone like her again, I think I have a "fear of abandonment" . But of course I have some other exemples where she seemed to be a toxic person I have a "funny" habit when i go to the cinema, it's something I say since many many years when I go there with someone : When we buy popcorns, I always say "We don't eat popcorns before the movie start!" but I say it in a funny way, and often the girl i'm with or my friends will joke about it, they will try to eat the popcorns and we will laugh. But for her, it was very different lol, when I said that we have to wait to eat the popcorn, she took it bad, she said something like "***, i can't even do what I want, why do you want to control everything?" Something like that, I replied to her that it was a simple joke and that she could eat the popcorns anytime, I said eat it, I don't mind ! you can eat all the box if you want lol And when she left me, she talked about many things like i said, she told me : I don't show enough love, we always pay half/half at the restaurant, many things... that i agree with her. But she also said : "I can't even eat popcorns when I want". I had to tell her again : the Popcorn thing was just a simple joke, I don't mind if you eat the popcorn before the movie start, really... So yeah, something was weird about her personnality, I don't know exactly what, I don't feel I am the only one who had problems, but I agree that I didn't take care of her enough too and I regret it alot. I wish I could have another shot and maybe she would behave differently if I show more things and open myself to her more, I don't know... 😞 Like I said, I'm wondering if I have to reach out again or not, I think having self respect is more attractive than chasing someone, but she dumped me because I was not showing enough, it sounds counter productive... And I feel guilty and i'm full of regrets... I reached two times already... I think she knows that I care about her, but I'm always changing my mind, it depends the hours of the day, sometimes I will think that I did enough and a few hours later I will panic and want to reach again lol But yeah letting her go is difficult at the moment I can't stop thinking about her and i'm constantly wondering if she will reach out one day or not... But maybe like you said, she is a toxic person and that would not workout with me and her, but because I feel that i didn't do my best in the relationship, I feel guilty and itdoesn't help to let it go. 😞

Hello... I'm 34y old and I met a very cool and beautiful 31y old girl on a dating website, I really liked her a lot but I was emotionally unavailable due to my previous relationship, I was with a crazy person who were telling lies all the time, menacing me of suicide etc... I lost tons of weight, could not eat because of this bad person... So when I met this new girl, I let her know about the crazy relationship i had before, and I told her that I was feeling "empty" and needed time.. We started our relationship and It was awesome at first, we both loves anime, manga, movies etc... after a few months she even talked about our futur etc (and in my head I though It was kinda fast to talk about this). Well months passed but i still had some issues, "feeling empty" I wanted to be alone the week and wanted to see her only on week-end... (She didn't like that, and I agree with her). I was still feeling empty, and she was telling my stories that didn't help me like : "I got rid of my best friend because she said that and that, I got rid of this person too, My mother is lucky to be my mother because i'd like to get rid of her too, I got rid of the guy because he did that and that." She got also very angry at me one day because she was waiting for me in her car and i came 15mins late, she was really really upset that it almost killed our day. I was thinking to myself "wow, If I open myself too much, and she get rid of me..." Wasn't helping me AT ALL... And after 6 months, she decided to get rid of me lol ^^ We had an argument about a silly joke I made, I like to make jokes all the time and she said "too much jokes, not enough of love", saying jokes is sometimes a way to get closer to the people I appreciate, but it's another story. She said my jokes are getting annoying, I don't show enough and I don't see her enough, and we always pay half/half at the restaurant... I did my best to show her my regret, I told her I'll change, i bought her a gift, I said that I don't want to loose her, that I love her, I kissed her hands (I cried too, It's bad I know) but no... She said we should remain friends because she doesn't want to cut contact because she likes me... After 2 weeks chasing her, she didn't even want to see me in person she said she was not ready, so I said "ok I give up" she replied "ok 😞 sorry to be annoying, wish you the best" and she deleted me everywhere... I tried NC for 10 days and came back she replied to me but it was a bit cold, I tried NC again for 10 days more, came back, I just said that I was thinking about her and wanted to say hello she replied "oh 🙂 " "you can come saying hello anytime you want to", then we talked a bit, about some series on netflix, but it was just being polite, I was saying 3 sentences she was replying two words... So I stopped talking and i'm back in NC for 10 days now... and I feel bad again, I miss her... After all this chasing, i'm thinking myself that I should leave her alone and see if she decides to give another try with me later, but since she left because I was "neglecting" her, I always feel I should try to show my interest more and more... She is a military, and a VERY stubborn person, if many people tell her a movie is good she won't see it just to do the opposit of what people think lol If i still have a slim chance, what should i do ? trying again or let her go ? thanks...