canitrustu

I hear y'all. I'm not going to proceed with the "test" and I haven't checked his tumblr these past couple days because just the thought of it gives me anxiety and I can't handle it. I've decided to give myself time to clear my head and I'm not pressuring myself to make any big decisions rn as in confronting him or leaving him.

I actually found his tumblr way before we started dating but back then I didn't care what he posted and I didn't think twice of it because I never gave it a close look. Just recently I randomly remembered about it and when I checked, that's when I found the disturbing content he likes/reposts. So no, he didn't give me any indication that he shouldn't be trusted or that he's doing sth shady. I wish I never looked it up again cause as they say IGNORANCE IS BLISS. You can't unknow what you already know, so I kinda screwed myself over and I keep digging myself deeper into this by thinking of other tests to put him through which also makes me toxic and deceitful, so I'm no better than him.... I don't wanna break up because I'm convincing myself that what he does isn't such a big deal as I'm making it to be and things could be worse... After all he takes care of me and gives me love and affection and I never would've thought he would do something to hurt me behind my back...this is why I think he doesn't even realize that this would hurt me in any way...he has a completely different view on this, to him it's probably like porn I guess... I don't know anymore...

Well, him saying he's single and engaging in a conversation...

Thank you all for the replies and advice you've given me. I appreciate it! The past few days he's been concerned about me because I'm a bit off and he can notice a difference in my behavior but he has no idea why and keeps asking me whats wrong... I haven't told him anything tho and don't plan on it. I believe I can get over it and we actually had a really nice day together today. I don't think this thing is worth breaking up with him. That's why I've also thought of doing another test on him. What if I anonymously send him a message on tumblr and say something along the lines of "hey, i think you're rly cute, are u single? :)" and see if he'd reply and what exactly. (He posts selfies sometimes so that's how I know it's his blog for sure). I think this would give me a better idea whether or not he's being deceitful. But I'm also scared of what his answer would be so I don't know if I'm going to do this. Also it makes me feel like maybe I'm the bad toxic one....

For me the bigger issue is the lying part, because I know once you're in a relationship it doesn't mean you stop finding other ppl attractive. Maybe he just prefers this over watching porn. I found out what his username is and checked his acc, I didn't actually go through his phone.

My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 months now and everything's been more than perfect. He treats me super well, gives me all the needed love and affection. However, recently I found his tumblr account. Turns out he often reblogs and likes explicit content, and nudes of other girls. Of course this made me super uncomfortable. I'd say our sex life is pretty good, we have sex a lot and I often send him nudes myself, so it's not like I don't satisfy him. I decided instead of confronting him about it, to test if he'd lie to me. So I waited for a good moment and started a convo about how I find it super disrespectful when a guy likes other girl's "sexy" photos online. I asked him if he does that and he said no. (I expected him to deny ofc and wasn't surpised). This sparked a long conversation tho and he started saying things like how there's always a line where the girl shouldn't cross to try and control her bf and brought up his ex and how she was controlling and would be mad at him for just saying hi to other girls or complimenting their outfits for example. Of course I agreed with him and said that's absurd and I wouldn't do that, but repeated that it's still disrespectful to like other girls' nudes online if you're in a relationship cus "you got food at home". He agreed and again said he doesn't do it and wouldn't do it to me. At this point I didn't want to be the crazy *** who stalked him so I didn't tell him that I know he does it. I decided to give him a chance and see if he will continue doing it. I thought maybe if I was in the same situation I'd deny it too to avoid conflict and not risk losing my partner over it and then I'd just stop doing it once I know my partner finds it disrespectful. However, I checked his tumblr again days later and turns out he still does it. I'm willing to forgive the lie about it at first, cus I thought maybe he'd feel guilty about it and stop doing it, but now I don't know how to feel. He completely disregarded my feelings about it because he thinks I'm never gonna find out. I know some people would say it's just like watching porn and that men are horny and that it means nothing, etc. but it makes me uncomfortable and even if I get over my insecurities about it, I don't know what to do about the trust issues I now have because I now know that he is capable of lying straight to my face with no remorse. What should I do? Do I confess that I know he lied or just try and forget about it and not check his tumblr anymore to keep myself sane???