candygirl

Sorry to come to you again, but I just talked to her about the situation vaguely but didn’t say anything outright yet. Waiting for a mutual response, you know? Now she’s saying that she’ll always be there for me, as if days ago she wasn’t blaming me for my problems. She tells me she loves me, but it feels… reactive. How do I do this? I know it’s a multi-day project, but I’m terrified as to what she might do to me, or worse, herself if I move too fast.

That’s my worry with everyone, really- people tiring of me in general. I didn’t voluntarily go out and find someone else, nor have I acted on anything or been the recipient of anything. When I tell my girlfriend I miss her, the responses she gives feel empty. I get lovebombs infrequently but I look forward to them every time. I just don’t know if it’s worth it to look forward to anything anymore. Thank you for your words.

Thank you for your words. I’m just scared, since she’s not exactly the most stable when it comes to change- like me, I guess. It’s why I was so devastated when I was still head over heels for her and felt like she was losing that feeling about me. I’ve never been the one to break things off, even if all of my past breakups have been fairly gentle and with no hard feelings at all. I’ve known this girl for four years, in real life and long distance both. It’s hard on everyone, I think.

In no way am I cheating physically or intentionally. Realizing that someone is inherently being kinder to me and attaching myself to them a little more isn’t the most terrible thing in the world, especially when my girlfriend only ever talks about the attractiveness of actors and characters and how she wishes she were with them. It’s rough seeing her affection only going to things that aren’t real when I’m right here. I’m tired of being the one to lead things. I just want to be the passive partner for once. I used to fawn over her left and right unprompted- is it so much to want something like that in return?

yes! we met in school- before the pandemic. i’ve known her for four years, dated for a little over two.

I just don’t know what to do. I’ve been with my girlfriend for over two years now, but nothing feels great anymore. It started in April or May or so of this year when she told me one of my harmless interests made her uncomfortable, myself resorting to public forums in order to talk about the thing I was interested in. It wasn’t anything jarring, just a game I liked. She wasn’t willing to explain to me why it made her uncomfortable, but I respected her decision and simply didn’t discuss it around her. I realized after finding more friends irl and online that I stopped talking to her as much every day, with myself dropping my position as the usual first good morning texter. We’ve been long distance since covid started, and it’s only gotten worse as I’ve moved to a different state for college. She doesn’t seem to care as much as I did, I don’t think. This might be jumping ahead in topic a little, but I don’t think she’s amused with me anymore. She used to think I was fun and interesting and pretty, but now rarely willingly goes into conversation with me that lasts for more than twenty minutes of active typing. We used to talk for hours before, but now it’s hard to get her to reply within a day’s time. I get it, school is difficult and makes it even harder to maintain friendships, but I wish she’d tell me she loved me without sounding like it was forced. Now, it doesn’t seem like she cares very much about me unless i’m very obviously asking for an opinion on myself or my work. I send a photo and she calls me pretty and sends the standard heart emojis, but it doesn’t feel genuine. It just feels so forced. Patterned, like learned behavior to make me happy. Sometimes I feel like one of those brainless mobile games that she visits regularly to get the tiniest amount of stimulation before forgetting about it for another day. Recently she’s been talking to me more because of the new Deltarune game. I like that too, so I thought maybe we could bond over that. Except, she seems more interested in just dumping about one of the characters and how she feels about them rather than actually talking about it. It’s incredibly one sided, and when I reply my reply goes practically unnoticed. Maybe an off handed comment about how what I said was cool or funny, but it’s always back to the same thing. I don’t know how to talk to her anymore. It feels like I don’t know her. It feels like we’re just two strangers who occasionally pass by and leave letters in each other’s mailboxes, replying out of pity. Perhaps it’s because it’s long distance. However, I’ve e-dated before and this hasn’t happened. I don’t want to break things off, but I do. I’ve recently found myself thinking about my best friend more than her, to the point of where I dream about this said friend frequently. I’ve never even met this friend in real life, but I know i’m in love with them to some degree. I’ve known for some time now. They make me feel so safe and loved, more than my girlfriend ever has. I told my girlfriend about someone at my school making me uncomfortable, hoping to start a dialogue of her comforting me in some way due to me not feeling safe in my current situation. All she really did was tell me to stay away from him, as if I had a choice (classmates, partner project, my hell). She even blamed me for interacting with him willingly (willingly as in me going to class and not telling him to shut up when he started talking to me). When I told my best friend about this, they comforted me the way my girlfriend should have. I thought about it for days. I thought I was the selfish one, the one who demanded affection and attention frequently, but it was only because I wasn’t being given it. I want to let go so badly, but I’m afraid of what’ll happen. She knows so much about me- I don’t know what she’d do. I’ve done so many things for her but I can’t remember the last time she did something for me. I feel like I have to walk on eggshells when talking to her, even if she’s never done anything. I’m really, really lost. Thanks for listening.