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  1. Besides enjoying a good challenged, it was far from what I planned. I have tried romantic relationships, and lets just say they were shortly lived. I have friends that introduced me to BDSM a while ago, in the beginning I was naturally drawn towards masochists subs, the issues with that was myself control at the time, (keep in mind the only notion that I had was that I enjoyed causing pain). Things happened, and for some unexplained reason I ended up with a little. It is unbelievably the progression that this path had. Now we are here trying to figure out how in the world we make this work.
  2. Thank you for the straight answer, this is what I seek. It might appear to be simply, however, I am not able to perceive such things.
  3. Never really gave thought to having a mood disorder, I have always been pretty certain that something was off since I was twelve. Understandably, the brain is fully formed at 25, then it is possible to identify ASPD -accurately? I would say no. I might seek another specialist about mood disorder, or I might not. At this point I really do not see the reason, I am they way I am for some rather distasteful reasons, there is no changing the course. The reason I seek advice about relationships is so I can understand things that I do not comprehend, and learn something from them. For me as well, it is easier to communicate to unknown strangers, than to people that I know, because, even if they do want to help, they are incapable of understanding they way I see or proceed. I have to constantly pretend and filter my reactions and words in order to maintain them at my side. In these cases my aim is not to hurt of manipulate people for my benefit, but to shield them from my true self. For example, I enjoy my mothers company, she is a unique person. I would never tell her that I could careless about people and would be fine if she died tomorrow, I simply put up a faced and act like I perceived other do in relation to their parents. My lovely mind is a twisted place to be, in order to blend in I put up a "mask", I guess a deception of reality in which I act and live by. I appreciate the replies, even though you might not understand how helpful it is to me.
  4. We are in a BDSM relationship. That is slightly unrelated, I should have clarified that. My question a part would be about emotional attachment, I understand that I failed to communicate that.
  5. I should have specified earlier that he is a little. He is 25. I am not a big fan of psychiatrist or any others really, I did visit a few because my mother believed set and stone that I had depression, as it turns out Antisocial Personality Disorder is not a textbook medical diagnoses. They recommended therapy and medicine. Again, in my reality, as if that would help. Terms of agreement, Its kind of my job to be his "mommy". He copes with things differently, as I would guess regular people do, when things are too much to bear I am there to take the control and seize all the responsibility, allowing him to relax. "Protect my self", I guess to somewhat extent that is correct. He is my anchor, always keeping me from unraveling too far. He is able to stop me before things get to far, most occasions someone upset him, and when it comes to him, it does not take much to trigger my anger. Generally, I can control my temper pretty well, however, if someone hurt him I will seek revenge. He does not approve of my tactics, but will allow me to do as I please until he determines that they had enough. I am not really satisfied about leaving unfinished business, they way he makes me, but I will comply for him in this aspect because I desire to make this work.
  6. I am obsessed by him, I can't really explain why, but everything about him intrigues me. I just want to keep him safe, shield him from the world. For once, a reason not necessarily to benefit only myself. I can't tell the real reason for having him, just that I would not be calm if something was upsetting him.
  7. At this point I realize I am walking on thin ice, even so, I have a strong drive to protect him. What would be things that people do to show others they care? From what I seen the smallest gestures are the ones that make a long way.
  8. I have been in a relationship for 4 months with a male sub. He seems to want/need constant affection and reassurance, I want to understand why : The feeling of needing affection per se, and how I can properly fulfill his needs. Now my real problem you see, I was recently diagnosed as a sociopath, in which I suspect since I was 12. I learned how to read and mimic peoples emotions, however, I am not capable of understanding or caring for them. The reason I ask for advice is because I actually enjoy my relationship and I want to make my partner happy. In order for this to work, I have to understand how he function the way he does, he is a sensitive person and really enjoys cuddling. I enjoy protecting and caring for him. Now I would appreciate some insight in the need for reassurance.
  9. As a very...very...bored sociopath I find this situation very amusing...Now to the fun part: advice.. First, your husband deserves more than to be cheated on. Secondly, what is your drive? What made you want to reach out to your ex? Unhappiness in marriage? Unsatisfactory life ? Boredom? Prohibit desire? What kind of closure you desire? 6 months is a rush after ending a 4 year relationship. You just blindly dived into the dark to get in another relationship because your desire to be in a relationship was strong . What was the reason to rush and move on? On what terms you broke up? Why it ended? What made you run away and embedded in another one? For decency, your husband deserves to be with someone that is 100% with him, body and mind. Talk to him and figure out what you want. Do not destroy a good relationship for some foolish desire, you may not realize, but simple actions and words can easily tear people apart, and the worst thing is if you fail to communicate with your husband before other pieces fall into place. Now time is of essence. Good luck.
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