Idk9898

In a sense she’s saying no by the way she’s behaving. But doesn’t want to be the bad guy and actually say “no”. I see it in that way. But I want my boyfriend to realize that I might not be over analyzing or overthinking, as he thinks I am.

She has never said “no”. She said it’s okay for me to move in and that my boyfriend and I would be paying rent since we are adults. But I know she is uncomfortable with the situation, although she agreed that I can move in. The issue is that she had an outburst when she was stressed and made it clear she was frustrated with my mother, who put my in such a position. So I now feel bad/uncomfortable with the idea of moving in with them. Because she’s obviously conflicted and is probably only allowing me to because she feels bad for me. I’m letting my boyfriend do so because he rather me stay with them. Rather than rent a room from someone I don’t know well. I do think it’s a better idea to give her space and find a roommate or rent a room from someone else. So I’m looking into it.

I don’t think this situation is worse than his last. You have set him free, he can learn to be emotionally independent once you break things off. You’ve already helped him. But you can’t do everything for this person, he’s draining your already very low social and emotional battery. You need to find people who you relate to more. Someone who is independent, as you are. For example, my grandparents are very different. They are married and in their late 70s. I don’t think they have anything in common. They are complete opposites. They live separately. My grandmother is unorganized and all over the place. My grandfather is calm, organized, enjoys being alone most of the time. They communicate often and hangout but cannot coexist completely. They are more like friends who help each other occasionally. You and this man remind me of them, but why would you put yourself in such a place when you can find someone who you have more in common with? Don’t rush into something because you are worried you’ll be alone. I repeat, do not. Look at where it got you. I believe you two could’ve remained friends rather than move it to a relationship. Maybe the contrast between the two of you excited you at first. Being around someone who had strong emotions might’ve fed you emotionally, maybe intrigued you. But now it’s overpowering? Take time and consider how you might tell him this. It isn’t fair that you don’t feel comfortable sharing how you feel. It’s a complete red flag if he won’t accept your feelings. Let us know what you choose to do.

You need to be accepting of your racial background. I’m sure it’s hard having gone through difficult experiences because of it but that does not mean you should withhold your identity from someone you’re close to. It’s apart of your identity, it has shaped the person you are now, so do not be ashamed— you can’t change what has happened to you. Also, you don’t have to prove anything to someone who is that ignorant. She’s coming off as colorist and it’s so vulgar. I’m mixed myself, and she reminds me of the kids that would tease me in school. She’s acting immature to say the least. You should move on from this, it’s just another lesson. Learn from it. As mentioned above from another commentator, it sounds like you are ashamed of your heritage. You need to work on that issue. Be more accepting of what’s happened to you in the past. You can’t control what others think, If she didn’t believe you— move on. You didn’t need to show anyone your birth certificate.

I’ll definitely look into it further. I’ve only now started considering searching. I’m visiting a friend who might have an available room today, I’m going to talk to her about it. Maybe she might know someone who’s searching for a roommate. Thanks for helping.

So I saw her briefly yesterday and she explained that she didn’t want me to be there because she didn’t tell the landlord (her friend) that I would be moving in with them. I also let my partner know that he should talk to her about me when I’m not there. Ask her what she actually thinks about. Explain to her that I can now afford to rent a room with my new job. That will be today, so I’ll let you guys know.

Yes, I work full time and attend college full time. There are no campus dormitories and I support myself. My parents are hours away, I stay at extended family members places. So I’m also, in your words, imposing on them as well. No matter where I go I’ll be imposing. Until I can afford to rent a place of my own.

I was considering relocating to where my mother is but I would most likely loose my job— it’s definitely my last option. I would share the living room with one of my uncles and I honestly felt more uncomfortable there then when I stayed with my boyfriend and his mother. I don’t feel like it’s put any pressure on us, I just feel like a burden for his mother. I think I’ll feel like a burden everywhere I go until I’m fully independent... honestly.

I explained to him that I want him to have a thorough conversation with her, informing her that with my new job I can afford renting a room with someone...etc. He told me that she’s angry at my mother for putting me in this situation, and that it’s not my fault... but I don’t want to intrude.

They either already have roommates or are living comfortably with their family. Most have a significant other they are living with.

I’m have severe anxiety and exhibited similar behavior towards people I’m very close to. When I wasn’t able to make clear my emotions I would lash out on those around me. I only recently began openly talking about my triggers with my partner and it has helped. I’m more sensitive and comfortable around him. It was not always like this though, I would occasionally do the same to my partner. I would sabotage relationships because of paranoia and the fear of being left or betrayed. I don’t know what might help her personally but it took me years to finally understand my emotions and when I might become irritable and frustrated. Even with people I’m close with but don’t share my emotions with I still get this way, because I don’t feel comfortable enough to tell them what’s wrong with me.

I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost three years. I’m turning 18 years old soon and have a full-time job while I attend college full-time. But when I was in my last year of high school my single parent moved hours away to help my brother and sister-in-law with their first born. I decided not to move in the middle of nowhere with them and began staying at my grandparents. I stayed there for a month, staying in the living room, until one of my uncles began crashing there as well. There wasn’t enough space so I decided I would start staying at my boyfriends (with his and his mother’s permission) a few nights out of the week— it slowly became every night of week. My boyfriends single mother decided that we would both began paying rent. Which is more than fair. Then we had to move because the lease was up. She’s expressed how she doesn’t think we should be living together at such a young age... I agree. But in my culture it isn’t as shameful to. She also said “ I didn’t want her to move in, but her f****** mother left her” when my boyfriend brought up moving out with me, which wasn’t my idea at all. I walked away and began to cry, she apologized but it hurt me deeply. Especially since my boyfriend didn’t defend me. That situation has affected me deeply. I don’t want to move in with them because of it but my boyfriend insist I still do. She also excludes me often. For example, we are finally moving into the new place this weekend, but she told my boyfriend that she just wants him and her to start to. Making me feel excluded, like It’s not going to be my home as well. So I’ll be staying at a family members house while they stay at the house during the weekend and move things in. I want to move in with my boyfriend but I feel uncomfortable with how his mother feels and behaves towards me. I know I’m unwanted by her and can feel it, but my boyfriend insist that’s not true. I need advice, I’m young and dumb. I’m probably being inconsiderate or overly sensitive, but I want to hear from others on the situation. I know it was my decision to stay but moving away when I already had a job, applied for the local college, and in a relationship would be devastating.