This is a very sensitive problem that has never been discussed outside the relationship. My wife has become more and more adverse to intimacy for the past 15 years of our 20 year marriage until now we have sex once every few months or so. I'm a person who really likes spending time being intimate. Sex is part of it, yes, but not all. I enjoy the closeness. I almost need it from time to time. Yet, she avoids it at all times. Any excuse to not have sex has been used. While the kids were in school we didn't have sex in the summer because they were home or might come home and find us. We have discussed it numerous times. She says it's not me its her. She feels fat and ugly. Despite my support and reasurance that I love her no matter what, it continues. The lack of romance and affection has begun to effect my work.
I supervise a young, beautiful single mom whom I've worked very closely with for over 9 years. She is the same age as my wife when we were married. She dresses very suductively and is a very pleasant person. Over the past few months I've begun to obsess about her. To the point
where I broke down and told her I believe I had fallen in love with her.
I knew as it left my mouth it was the wrong thing to say. There wasn't anyting I expected from her at the time. It almost didn't have anyting to do with what she thought. She was silent, and when pressed said she saw me as "the boss" and thats all. This was a blow to me, because I'd at least thought she would have said friends.
Seems my private life and work life are now unraveling and I'm losing my grip.
Any ideas?
jstme
