I met my husband 7 years ago whilst travelling Europe. We hit it off straight away and have been inseparable ever since. We met in his home town where his family and business are based and so I decided to stay here. He always knew my plan was to never stay here forever (I love to travel) and we shared the same life ambitions.
Fast forward a few year and we have a beautiful baby boy together. But now I miss my home town and my family and friends more than ever. His family are VERY close and super controlling. If he buys me a gift I have to hide it because they don’t approve of it. When they come over to my home they tell me “very good, You’re house is clean” and they dictate our every move.
Whilst pregnant i tried to walk away from our relationship because his family wanted to decorate my babies nursery and when I refused they brought the cot around anyways. We struggled to conceive and so when we finally got pregnant, I thought they would be a little more understanding but I was wrong. The first person we told was his mum and she demanded we go tell his brother, and so we had to.
They don’t allow him to have 1 single day off from work (even though it’s his business) for 8 month straight. So I feel like I’ve been a single mum for a while. I’ve really struggled with not having my family and friends near by and whenever I ask for help off his family the answer is always no. I know deep down that he will never leave his home town. He can’t step aside from his business for 1 day never mind a life time. But I’m not sure I can carry on feeling (and knowing deep down) that I’m always going to come second to his family and business.
Now I completely understand he has to work and provide for his family. I love that about him and I support him in every way I can. But part of me also longs for my life back. I feel as though he has everything. The perfect home life, his family near and his job. Whereas I have nothing. I feel myself slowly losing myself. I’m not as bubbly, as jolly or as fun to be around because I feel as though I’m always alone. I’ve lost the part of myself that could go to a completely different country and feel content. I’ve always wanted to travel but now I’ve found myself settled in a country I never planned on staying in surrounded by people that aren’t my loved ones.
I have asked him before to just try living in my home town for a while but he point blank refuses. I’ve done it for 7 years, why can’t he? I feel as though Ive loved him enough to put my happiness second for 7 years so why can’t he just try? The truth is I love our relationship, and my family. But I cry each day just waiting on the next hoping it will be different. I don’t know what to do anymore. Part of me is terrified to leave because of the unknown but the other part just tells me to run.
