Pooffster

Reading through 98 pages has really given me some hope during my difficult break up that happened 1 month ago. Here's a few reconciliation stories from my end: 1. Friends of mine. Guy and girl were high school classmates, dated for a year or two. Broke up and went separate ways in different countries. They went on to date different people, with the guy moving in with a new girlfriend for 2-3 years. They broke up when the new gf migrated. The guy went back to his highschool gf, who's always shared similar circle of friends and they have since been married . 2. Friends of my ex. Guy and girl met in university, with girl helping him out a lot with school work, basically being a real rock in the relationship. They were planning on a marriage. Somehow the guy met another girl, broke off with the university girlfriend. I think they went into NC. The guy eventually planned to marry the new gf, even had prewedding photos taken. But just a few months before, he found some huge disparity with her living habits and her spending his money freely and finally chased the girl out. He went back with his university girlfriend, and they are now happily married with 2 children. 3. Another friend of my ex, serial dater. Had a young gf, all went well for 1 year but he suddenly dumped her, went LC. He met another girl from church and dated very briefly for a few months, but eventually broke up. He said he still loved the young gf more, and managed to win her back again. They have been together for the past few years. So if both parties have had personal growth, and are willing to work out fundamental problems in the relationship, the relationship is reparable. 4. Now for my own reconciliation story. We met when I was 22F and him 26M. I was in uni and he was already working. He came into the relationship dating to marry. LDR for the next 3 years, things were really great, we were committed, same values and had a lot of fun. Transitioned into working life. I grew personally after working and wasn't as fun anymore. But we were still committed. Somehow I wasn't sure of the relationship as it was my first serious one, and wasn't ready for marriage and we broke up after being together for 4 years. I regretted. Worked on myself and tried to dissect what went wrong with the relationship so it doesn't happen again. He is a wonderful partner. We've been together almost 6 years now, and I had some serious communication issues, unable to discuss marriage openly as I wasn't ready for a family. Marriage to me was being able to start a family, while it meant stability for him, family or not. I've always known he'll be my life partner, but couldn't decide on when to settle down. My workload is horrendous as I'm a hospital based healthcare provider. We've been through another LDR for 2 years, and then another one now. But the pandemic and travel restrictions made it too difficult, and it's too tiring for him to keep waiting for me. Some depression on my end also made me quite unkind to him for the past 3 years. He eventually lost interest. I finally decided I was ready for the whole marriage package. But it was too late for him. So we broke up in Aug 2021. He was the dumper. Devastating. Sigh. Working on myself now, finally engaging in weekly therapy, giving us some space. I'm not sure what the future holds. I hope to become better for myself and my future relationships. I'd wish he'd be in the picture again, as I know we can work well for a future together, if he's willing. Nothing but a clean slate can work for us now. Yes. Reconciliations do happen, but you'll need a lot of work to ask yourselves, what can be different this time, what work you've done and if your goals align in the future. Set practical deadlines and work together. Past baggages need to be forgotten or forgiven as well, otherwise they become resounding resentment. All the best to those who are going through this. 2nd time 3rd time together is not impossible.