barryttt

Hi thanks for the reply. I am not sure what my next move should be. I am a bit scared to stay in contact in case things dont go as planned. I made NC yesterday nearly sent a text but didnt. I dont want to seem needy and weak. Another thing i forgot to tell you was that when she was texting me the day before she did seem to get more angry when i didnt respond back right away to her text messages and then i think that was why she started to call. She is just trying to figure out her next move, thinking of reason to contact me again. Also do you think she is also fishing, what i mean trying to find out what iam thinking about her. Do you think its best she contacts me, and i respond and keep it upbeat making sound like i might move on from her so she has to play her hand quick. As i said i am not sure what shes thinking at the moment, but dont want to ask as i feel i will be handing my control back over to her.

Hi guys thanks for your advice, think I know she is playin a game. The funny thing is, is that she has contacted me a few times. Not sure if she was looking for a reason to contact me about her friend. You see her friend who I know and my ex had a bit of an argument. I sort of knew somethink about it and she texted me asking what I knew. I didnt really know much and told her that in my reply. Again I have been keeping my head up when I have saw her and said hello and smiled nothing more really. Yesterday was a bit strange. I went the pub after work again my two friends came from work. One male and one female. The female was also at the work party and I chatted to her most of the night and as far as I can tell we didnt display any of the your my new girl signs. Nobody else thinks where going out but I am sure my ex does. Anyway she came over the pub with her friend, they seemed to be talking now and sat with us. I was friendly to my ex and really talked to everybody not showing any signs of weakness. I even bought my ex a drink. Me and friends left. Later in the night my ex texted me saying she and her friend are ok now. I didnt reply. She then calls and I just left it. Then she starts to ask why am i ignoring her. I just didnt see the point where not together and I dont want to be set back by us staying in contact. She then asks am i with this girl, she says it clear the way we where acting in the pub and we didnt do anything, nobody else thinks it so why is she. I did speak to her after her calling me a few times and I told her we werent, she then says iam not bothered but why are you lying about it, i just though it was funny and i did tell her i wasnt. We did have a friendly chat and i made her laugh a few times but didnt stay on the phone too long. Normal i would stay on the phone for ages but it was me for the first time ended the call. This was the first voice call since i start NC, and it has been her contacting me. Still no hint of want she wants from me, but i remained friendly on the phone. Do i stay in NC mode, i do want her back but she has too do all the work, and if she doesnt then i move on. The days are getting better for me but I am trying not too jump the gun and get my hopes up.

Hi I posted my story, but to cut it ex dumped me about 1 1/2 months ago. Think she still hadnt recovered from her last relationship and she had a few other problems. I tried to be there but ended up getting hurt and had the normal I hate you and you did this too me etc etc. Since then she had been out with 1 other guy which lasted about a week and think she was meeting another guy and not sure whats happening with that one. We seem to have a cycle, she would contact me about somethink and I guess I took this as a good sign but nothing would become of it. It normal ended with me getting upset and asking her to get back with me. This wouldnt happen of course and we ended up not speaking to each other (she working next to me so we do see each other everyday). So 2 weeks ago I just though f@#k it and did what you guys advice people here. NC and I changed my mobile number. I didnt want her contacting me and wanted to move on. Been keeping busy and going out with work friends. Got some new clothes and started to go the gym. I do feel better and think other girls are looking interested, might just be wishful thinks but it feels good. A few people have said I look happier and think I do. When I see my ex I just smile and say hello and nothing more. Before this I just looked sad and when I saw her just looked at the ground and walked past. Well 2 days ago my work had a party (I asked for advice as she was going, but did know what she would be like). I guessed she would get drunk and try to kiss everybody in the place. A friend helped alot and drilled me before I went. Told me to look happy and if she speaks to you dont be nasty and be polite. Got there and of course she was there and you know what I just forgot about her after a few drinks. She called me over and said she didnt want to argue tonight and I was nice and offered her to buy her drink she said thanks and I got her one and returned to my group of mates. A girlfriend of mine has just split up with partner and I was talking to her alot. There where other people with us and it didnt look like anything just a guy and girl talking like friends. My group of friends left for some food. Now when I got in i had 2 text messages on my new number from my ex. Not sure how she go it but it would not had difficult. One was sent during the party see knows another girl is after me work and made it into a joke. She knows I wouldnt go out with this ever so nothing of importance there. Then another sent after I left and this is what is troubling me. It said R U with some please answer me. I didnt respond. The next day I get another text message ask me about somethink again not important, I didnt respond and then she called my phone later that night. I didnt answer. I did send a reply, it was about a friend she wanted to know somethink. Just answered her question and said goodnight at the end. Ive saw her since and have maintained my feel good look happy attitude, smiled and said hello how are and then went into work. I do feel better and still love her but not sure whats she up too. Whats going on, please help guys. My first post is here: link removed

Hi guys this forum along with other people has really helped. I am just getting my feelings out today before I face my ex who I work with. We split up after being together for 6 months. She has had a bad time what with an ex boyfriend chasing and other stuff. If I went into them I would be here all day so keeping it short. They needed to stay in contact because of a major problem but thats been sorted now so we didnt have any other problems. She would split up with me during the first 4 months telling me to walk away that there was too many problems and she didnt want me to get hurt. I did but she would get back in. It was a really messed up time for us both. Not sure if we where in a relationship or just good friends. We started to go out again about 2 months ago but it seemed she hasnt heeled from the past problems and pushed me away. It was her that split up with me and after a few days got with somebody else. They last about 2 weeks I guess he was a rebound. I did feel so hurt as we argued when I contacted her she seemed to be rubbing her new man in my face saying she was in love I was a mistake etc etc. I was stupid enough to argue back with her trying to hurt her but I go nowhere. This when on for about a week and I just stopped. I just was getting on with it but it was hard as we work together. But we didnt talk in work and we where getting different shifts. This was giving me time to heel and I was getting better each day. I started to pay more attention to myself and gave myself a new look. I did get a couple of text's nothing about us getting back togther or anything they seemed just like a reason to contact me or find out what I was doing but just deleted them. Then NC for 3 weeks. I started to go out with other people from work and starting to feel really good about myself and it showed. They where just friends a mixed group of girls and guys. I was smiling alot more in work. We did start getting some shifts together in work we had abit of small talk that was it. She made contact with me through a text and we decided we needed a talk. We did and she seemed very sorry saying it was her who was messed up and she said and did nasty things to get me out of her head. She still was hurting from the past and needed to just do what she needed to do. She said she still cared for me and was really sorry I deserve better and she wants me to be happy and that would not happen with her. She just said she hurts people and she doesnt want to hurt me any longer etc etc etc. I didnt know what to make of it, was she just trying to make herself feel better. I guess so, but needed to just let go of her. I took her home. She said I could still call her and text her. I didnt and just got on with it no NC and not really speaking to her in work. This was working. It started to go wrong when I went for a few drinks after work. Just 3 of my work friends after work 1 girl 2 guys. After a while my ex came over with another work friend, now I know they went out in the past about a year ago and have been a bit friendly lately. But this work guy has a girlfriend and 2 kids. She sort of knew I was wary of him as I knew he still liked her but I dont think any thing was going on. I played pool and just got off I did say goodbye to everyone including her. I got a text asking me why I was being funny about 11pm that night again I made NC. A couple of days later I had a family problem which upset me and went I went into work I didnt really speak to anyone. I did tell a work friend so was just given small jobs to do. I still wasnt really speaking fully with my ex and I was in the middle of doing something and she was explaining something and she just flipped out and worked off. She went out after work and came back really drunk wanting to speak to me asking why I didnt speak to her in work, she also said she had been hurting as well and that I was just messing with her head. I just didnt make sense of it. Her work friend got her to leave. She sent me a message saying sorry the next day. In work was normal no bad feelings or anything and it was ok. She got that guy she came over the pub with that time to drop her off. Now I get another message on the sat at 3.30am saying did I follow her home she thinks she had seen my car. Again NC. Now she texts me on sun asking me somethink about work and then calls. I answer the phone then we start to get into a convertsation about our past, asking questions about this and that old stuff really, I got upset as I was feeling down about all the games she seemed to playing which was a bit mistake. She wanted to know did I have feeling and I said yes and then says she wants me to be happy and she couldnt do that she is now with somebody else which again upset more. I lost it a bit and was just crying. I feel so fed up and hurt I was getting stronger day by day and she just seems to want to keep hurting me. I do still have feeling for her and think I did love her but not after telling me that. I didnt need to know it. Can somebody help how do I deal with her now. She has somebody else and told me, says she still cares but doesnt. I was doing so well before all this and now feel back to square 1.

Hi mate you are even the same age as me and my ex is 21 so not far off. Look at it this way there is a game being played you are playing it as well as I have with my ex. I think your ex just was a reaction from you. I think she needs to know you still have feels for her but I dont know if they are strong enough to want to get back with you. I had somethink happen with ex about 2 nights ago. I went over to a local pub facing my work with a couple of work friends. Now my ex comes over knowing I would be there with a work friend of her's who she had a bit of a fling with about a 1 year ago. I knew this guy still liked her. Now she knew I knew that he still liked her aswell. Now I ask why did she come over with him. To get a reaction from me. remember she broke up with me. She just playin games, and your ex is as well. Well away way I had one drink played some pool and said goodbye in a friendly way to everybody including her. We did speak and I only stayed for about 15 mins, and I did do anything wrong or look at her in a funny way. I was not going to give her the time to push my buttons. So at about 11.30pm I get a text message this is after NC for 2 weeks. Saying 'this is xxxx i just wanted to know what was goin on with u in the pub today' then she sends another one saying i though we where over all that. Now why even text me. Because by showing her Ive not been arse'd by what she does and games she plays is getting to her. You ex is doing the same. Now I dont know what my next move should be but I am not going to show her it is getting to me even though it does inside and this must be how your feeling. I love this girl and she has done some nasty stuff aswell. You most show her how strong you are. Ive started going the gym and got a new look and a few other girls at work are taking notice and my ex knows this. She needs to know you still have feels for her and my ex is doing this aswell. It just somethink stupid that girls do and I cant explain why. A girl mate told me about this, she tried to explain it too me but I was got lost. They just do it she said, even if they dumped you. You need to do this as well. If she contacts you DONT be nasty or play games or let her know that she is playin games just be cool and reply with very small replies to her texts or if she calls make it very short and tell her you have to go. She will be wondering whats going on. Just leave it for a while. I will keep up NC and so will you. We will see who's ex contacts us first LOL. It will be over somethink stupid and she will just be fishing to see what your thinking KEEP it short or dont even get back to her. Let me know mate.

Hi mate I know the pain you are going through. Your story is almost the same as mine that it's weird. I see my ex everyday at work and this is the killer. She is at the stage where she is doing things to get a reaction from me. She's done the same stuff as yours: 'Why you calling me' 'Stop texting' 'Why you speaking to my friends' etc etc this sound the same. Ive had all that. I think its to make her feel better and in control. Ive just start to talk to one of my ex's close friends and she says it's to try and get you out of there heads' I took this as meaning they still or you ex still has feelings. Look at it this way if they didnt why be angry back. It does look like she and you are playing games. This is the same with me, and as I said my story is nearly the same as your's. The only thing Ive done is not contact my ex and every time she see's me show her how happy Iam. I work with alot of girls at work and they gave me some inside information. Some girls when they end a relationship even if's it's them want you to be unhappy and keep chasing, also they dont want you to be with anybody as well. I know it all sounds weird but I think it says that they still have feelings but want to hate. Keep your chin up mate I am. I see this is getting to my ex by being happy as I know they look like they but deep down there not not.