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makavelii

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  1. It is and I decided to go. She broke up.
  2. This first part was writen more than a month ago. Hello everybody. Lets begin by saying that last 3 weeks were happiest but also saddest in my life. Everything started when I met this girl at the party, we chated on instagram before and had an opportunity to meet up. At that party we vibed a lot and she told me that really she likes me. I said the same and we basically were extremely happy for the rest of the party which ended in 3 days. The problem was that she had a boyfriend and their relationship wasn’t that good. We decided to meet next day and talk sober. The next day I woke up and thought about it a lot and realized that what she was doing wasn’t right and againts my ideals ( when I think about it now, *** ideals). When we met I talked a lot about how it was not right what we were doing and pushed her a lot (which I regret now). She seemed really genuine but I refused to listen. After that day I talked a lot with many different people and started really regreting my words. I am not sure if it happened to any of you, but over time when I was thinking about her I started to miss her. Shen was that one perfect girl but I was too stupid to notice and now I think about her all day everyday. I occupied myself with many different activities but It’s not helping. After a week or so I couldn’t stand it and called her. I was going to say that I really liked her and wanted to ask her out on a date. When we started talking she mentioned that after our talk she went to her boyfriend to brake up, but they both got really emotional and they restarted their relationship. After those words my heart droped and I ended up wishing her good luck and saying goodbyes. Since that day I’m feeling extremely depressed ( started drinking more, but stoped now ). I basically can’t look at other girls anymore because they don’t look good enough. This feeling has been folowing me for weeks even until now. Few days ago, I got invited to this birthday party and I found out that she is attending it too. When I found I got really mixed emotions. No matter how hard I don’t want to go and forget her, somehow I can’t fight my heart which wants to see her on every possible opportunity. I’m extremely lost and still fighting depression which might get even stronger after that party. If she comes with boyfriend it will be even harder, I’m afraid that I might get aggressive and say too much. Also recently she told me that she found a job in different country and is soon leaving. What should I do? Should I ignore her? confess to her? Maybe not even go. It’s really hard to think and decide at this state. I will probably get drunk there and leave deppresed but I still want to know what you think. Update: Basically I didn’t go to that party where she was and we haven’t met since. Recently we got into argument and blocked each other, but yesterday was my birthday and she called me. We talked a little bit and are cool now. Today out of nowhere she messeged me and asked me to go with her on a trip around Europe. Should I go? Does this mean that she still likes me? I tried really hard to forget her but now this happend.
  3. I would like to add that I really appreciate your comments. They made me rethink a lot of things and even if I’ll still do some crazy sh*t, you helped me. I didn’t expect that.
  4. Yea I feel like being used as a rebound and that sucks man I’m really ***ed up. We talked today and she’s fine now with her bf ( I assume ) they are going away together so thats that. She is chating with me like old days and like nothing have ever happend. Also she told me thet she will be in my city with few friends and I should join party with them. After todays chat I think that I lost all hope which was keeping me going. Simple thing would be blocking her and leaving it like that but I know that I won’t do it and we will keep chating on occassions which will be killing me. I really liked every comment but I can’t explain what I’m thinking and I’m not sure what to do. I will take my time but at this state I can’t go back to my old life. I think I will meet her at those parties so I could get everything off my chest and finish it. I regret sticking to my ideals because we might have been together if not that and now I only got regrets and wishes that she will dissapear and I will forget her. I think that she is in her confort zone, first love and all that. She did try to brake up with him but gave him another chance. She liked me and I likes her but I could have done more because I was fighting inside. Only after everything I realized that if she wasn’t happy with her bf and we were really happy together why not look where it takes us. Well I was too late and I remember my last words being “ I just want you to be happy “ when she told me that they are trying again. I didn’t mean in and I wanted to say different things but I had no balls I guess. It is what it is. 3 incoming weeks will be hard.
  5. I get what you’re trying to say but after meeting her I just can’t look at other girls, they all don’t look good enough. I wouldn’t call myself outgoing but I’m usually pretty succesful at these things. Imagen having your brains try to forget her and ignore her, but your heart lives with hope on seeing her again. Also we still chat from time to time about random things which is killing me BUT simply blocking her doesnt seem right. Maybe if I look and act even better at this next party she will come to me again. It might sound weak but it is what it is. What I found out about her when we met up after is that she isn’t unloyal, just lost. She is 19, I’m 22 and basically what I think is that she is confussed. Her current boyfriend is 25 and at least for me looks like a bum. BUT they’ve been together for almost 2 years and its her first real boyfriend. I think that she simply can’t leave her comfort zone. By all means she is a good person but with problems like all of us.
  6. Hello everybody. Lets begin by saying that last 3 weeks were happiest but also saddest in my life. Everything started when I met this girl at the party, we chated on instagram before and had an opportunity to meet up. At that party we vibed a lot and she told me that really she likes me. I said the same and we basically were extremely happy for the rest of the party which ended in 3 days. The problem was that she had a boyfriend and their relationship wasn’t that good. We decided to meet next day and talk sober. The next day I woke up and thought about it a lot and realized that what she was doing wasn’t right and againts my ideals ( when I think about it now, *** ideals). When we met I talked a lot about how it was not right what we were doing and pushed her a lot (which I regret now). She seemed really genuine but I refused to listen. After that day I talked a lot with many different people and started really regreting my words. I am not sure if it happened to any of you, but over time when I was thinking about her I started to miss her. Shen was that one perfect girl but I was too stupid to notice and now I think about her all day everyday. I occupied myself with many different activities but It’s not helping. After a week or so I couldn’t stand it and called her. I was going to say that I really liked her and wanted to ask her out on a date. When we started talking she mentioned that after our talk she went to her boyfriend to brake up, but they both got really emotional and they restarted their relationship. After those words my heart droped and I ended up wishing her good luck and saying goodbyes. Since that day I’m feeling extremely depressed ( started drinking more, but stoped now ). I basically can’t look at other girls anymore because they don’t look good enough. This feeling has been folowing me for weeks even until now. Few days ago, I got invited to this birthday party and I found out that she is attending it too. When I found I got really mixed emotions. No matter how hard I don’t want to go and forget her, somehow I can’t fight my heart which wants to see her on every possible opportunity. I’m extremely lost and still fighting depression which might get even stronger after that party. If she comes with boyfriend it will be even harder, I’m afraid that I might get aggressive and say too much. Also recently she told me that she found a job in different country and is soon leaving. What should I do? Should I ignore her? confess to her? Maybe not even go. It’s really hard to think and decide at this state. I will probably get drunk there and leave deppresed but I still want to know what you think. Thanks❤️.
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