For months now I’ve felt ambivalent about my relationship. There are times when things are great between us, but others that I feel deeply unhappy. For context he (35m) and I (36f) have been together for just over a year. I have always struggled with feeling confident in my choices and valid in the way that I feel, which doesn’t help the situation. I just don’t know whether the problems are worth working on, or whether they are a clear sign that we are incompatible as partners.
For one, our sex life has been an issue. With some exploration into this Ive discovered that my sexual attraction towards him has frazzled out pretty significantly. It’s definitely not my drive, it’s just with him. I never did want to ‘rip his clothes off’ but in those first few months I think the sex was new and exciting enough to overlook that. I am willing to work on this if I can, but also wonder whether it is something that can actually change or not.
Another thing is that I already have a child (who by the way he has been AMAZING with). He had expressed before that he really wanted children so at the very earlier stages of our relationship I had an upfront and honest conversation with him about the fact that I didn’t want any more. I gave him the opportunity to not pursue anything further but he decided that he still wanted to. Now I just can’t stop thinking he will end up regretting his decision and resenting me. I know I haven’t kept him prisoner and it’s his choice, but I’m finding it a struggle.
We have quite different perspectives on life. I am totally open to all beliefs that people have and respect them. But in a relationship, how much will this matter moving forward? I am quite into spirituality and am a pretty deep thinker. He is very much ‘why question anything, life is simple if you don’t think about it too much’. While he never specifically ‘mocks’ me about my interest in this area I’ve noticed he gets a little angry and frustrated about it which now means we never have those kind of conversations. With this being a big part of who I am, I wonder if it’s a big problem or not?
With there being some clear positives about our relationship I am willing to seek some kind of therapy/counselling together. I just wanted to get some opinions on whether the issues above are resolvable. Thanks
