I had the most amazing relationship. We met each other as exhcange students in a different country and I waited half a year to tell him that I like him. He is the most funniest person I ever met.
In total we were together a bit more than 4 months.
We immediately became a couple the night I asked him, two weeks in he asked me if we are official. He told his parents, his grandfather, his friends.
I was his first girlfriend and he was a bit younger than me. He treated me really good. He remembered all the small things I told him, he listened to me, he showed me physical affection (in public and in front of friends) he gave me many compliments everytime we saw each other, he put me first, time was passing so quick whenever we saw each other (he said that too), we never ran out of things to talk, we didnt fight once, he brought me home almost everytime even if it was not on his way and also the sex was very good. I felt very very loved throughout this whole relationship.
He told me that his friends said he seemed more confident since he was together with me and I could feel myself being more confident as well.
After 1 month and a half out of nowhere he said we need to talk what happens when we go back to our home country (we live in neighbor countrys by the way)
He said he doesnt see himself in a long distance relationship and he said he likes me a lot but he is not in love with me. That was a really hard pill to swallow. We had a long and (for me) unsatisfying talk and I went home confused. two days later he texted me that he was too harsh and he wants to talk about it again if I am okay.
So we talked and this time it was better. He said he had the feeling that I maybe already have bigger plans for us and because he didnt know where it was going he didnt want to give me hope and he was that direct because he thought otherwise I would have hope. He said he missed me (because we didnt see each other for a week) and I told him we are just 1 month into our relationship and we should enjoy it and see what comes.
So we agreed on that.
We had many trips together after that, many cute moments and we grew really close in my opinion and even more affectionate towards each other. Also people from outside perceived it that way.
One week before leaving our exchange year country he asked to meet very late at night. I had a bad feeling because it was unusual since for the last two weeks we lived quite far and he had a curfew, but when we met he was like always, he kissed me, we fooled around for one or two hours and I was really relieved.
Also the day before we had booked a hotel for the two of us and he was normal during sex and talks. But then he said we should talk about what happens when we go back.
I told him my opinion didnt change and I want to try long distance, even if it doesnt work out in the end I want to try it and we dont live that far away from each other.
He said his point of view didnt change as well and he repeated the same things than last time. That he doesnt feel love for me.
For me that was really crushing, I thought, according to his behaviour that his mind changed or that I was at least worth trying.
I asked him if he ever was in love before and he said yes two times and that he doesnt have the same patterns with me than the other two girls, he doesnt feel his heart beating and the excitement he felt for the others.
I felt defeated, what else could I add when he says he doesnt love me?
So he asked to hug me because he could see I was feeling unwell, I cried a bit and suddenly he cried too
He said we can talk about it again if i want to
We did 4 days later, this time I was more prepared and I told him everything that I wanted to say and I made sure to tell him I'm not here to push him to change his mind and I said everything that I wanted to say.
That I dont really understand and that when I look back I feel loved and he behaved so much like he did and so on.
It didnt change anything. I asked him if we could stay in contact (because I couldnt bare the fact not to talk to him) he agreed and we even met one more evening to hang out as friends (which was nice but also hurtful, but it was my request)
After coming back home we texted like once a day but then one time he didnt reply for 3 days.
I felt crushed that I went from his priority to this in a matter of days...
I became a bit better but then when he texted me after 3 days I was sad again
So I told him in a nice way that It hurts me more than I thought to text him and that I need distance and he was very understand.
He was really understanding and told me he completely understands and I should take as much time as I need. After 10 days he texted me again regarding some pictures that I asked him to send. In those 10 days I was really miserable and only thought about him. So I texted him back and then he took another 10 days to reply.....after that we exchanged messages for a few days and now im being ignored again.
Its been 1 and 1/2 months now since the break up and I still cry about him, I really miss him and I cant really believe that he doesnt have feelings for me. I still want him back....we parted in good terms and our relationship wasnt toxic
Im slowly losing hope on what I can do...we are in different countries so theres not that much I can do
I wanna know how other people perceive my relationship and if you have any advice for me on what to do.
