Grommet

That hits hard but you're right, if she had the money she'd have already moved out. She's not staying around because of me or we'd not be in this mess in the first place.

@SherrySher Thank you do much 🙂 its just good know that I'm not completely crazy for thinking this isn't right.

@SherrySherthat's a perfect way to put it, either way its going to suck so pick the solution that works out slightly less sucky

I keep getting this existential dread that its all over and that kills me and I don't really even know why. I think I know deep down that it is over but there's still apart of me that hopes we can fix it. But I definitely don't want to spend my life with someone that's unsure if they even want to be with me or not.

I want her to be well and feel some sort of contentment with her life. I hope that includes me but at the same time I'm slowly starting to feel like I can't just wait around for her to make up her mind.

I spoke to a counsellor in that first week, I booked myself an appointment to have a chat to see what I should be doing, I don't know how to deal with someone with depression. When I told her that I'd spoken to a counsellor about us and what they said she didn't take it very well at all. She viewed it as me trying to control her and wouldn't listen when I said that it was more about me then it was her. This whole thing has really taken it's toll on me and I've ended up going to therapy for myself and I'm currently taking Sertraline to help with anxiety. We've spoken about therapy a lot but she just doesn't seem to want to make that first step and I feel like I cant force her to do it because she'll view it as me being controlling again.

8 months, her plan was to find a house to rent locally but that turned out to be a lot harder then she was expecting.

@SherrySherYou're 100% correct it's not a healthy situation at all. We keep going around in circles, I try to back away from her and give myself some distance to start again but I slowly get pulled back in. We start talking all the time and hanging out. At some point I get my hopes up that maybe she's changed her mind so I talk to her about our relationship and I get the same answer, that she doesn't know and the cycle starts again.

Self diagnosed. We've spoken about her depression a lot over the years and we've talked about her going to the doctors or therapy and she always agreed that it would be a good idea but its not something she's ever explored any further.

She said that she felt trapped and controlled, she said that it wasn't anything specific just a general feeling. I said that I'd be more than happy to look into marriage therapy but she felt like it won't make a difference and that I would say all the right things in the sessions and nothing would change.

Hi everyone, I'm new here and I'm hoping someone might have some advice on what I can do because I just don't know what to do for the best. 8 Months ago my wife of 15 years told me she wanted to leave and get a divorce. We've got three kids together and lockdown had taken its toll on both of us. She'd been feeling really down for a while so I suggested that she had a break from everything and spent a bit of time with her parents, a week later she came back and told me she wanted to leave me. She has suffered from depression for a while and had come to the conclusion that I was the root cause of it all. Our relationship had been a bit stressful for a few years, I've always worked full time and she's been a full time mum and that has always caused a bit of tension between us even though it was a decision we both agreed on. But now that the kids are getting older she decided that she wanted to go back to university and become a teacher, so that was the plan. We had our issues like any marriage but nothing that I didn't think was normal, so this whole thing completely took me by surprise. She didn't want to stay and try to work it out and that night she left. She moved in with her parents but that didn't last long and after a big argument with her mum and dad she was back home within a week. So she moved into our old bedroom and I moved into the office and turned that into my bedroom. Because of financial issues she cant move out and get her own place so we've been living together like this ever since. We've always been really good friends and we still get on. She still wants to spend time together in the evening, we talk everyday, laugh and joke together, we'll share a bottle of wine, watch TV together and go to the shops etc. We're basically living as a married couple that just sleeps in separate bedrooms. I've spoken to her about our relationship a few times and I've asked her to stay with me and to try to work on our issues. She'll always say she'll think about it but can never come to a decision. She can't make up her mind, she says she still loves me but doesn't know if she still wants to be with me. But I can't live like this forever, it's slowly driving me crazy. At what point do I throw in the towel and say enough is enough. Do I wait for her to make up her mind on whether she will stay with me or not, or do I try to move on? I still love her but am I fighting a losing battle trying to get someone that doesn't want to be with me anymore to stay?