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dave_1966

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Everything posted by dave_1966

  1. I don't think it's emotional abuse like cluster b, or gaslighting. He's just a common or garden @sshole.
  2. All sorts of stuff happens out there, his ex may have turned up again. It could be anything, just truck on.
  3. You should tell her folks about it in a discreet and sensitive fashion, they're her flesh and blood and you're not. You have already stated you'd like to leave her and I can guarantee that they would like to know what's going on. Ultimately, you're just a college boyfriend, nothing important in the scheme of things as relationships at your age are here one day and gone the next. You should tell them so they know what they're dealing with when the two of you most likely split up, then they'll know how to deal with her more knowledgeably. It's actually incredible that you place your practically teen relationship over the bond between her and her family, and if anything bad did happen you'll feel awful for many years for not having the balls and good grace to inform them. It's far more important they know about this than just putting it out to an Internet forum.
  4. 'I apologize if this isn't what you want to hear, but to fix this and remain your wife's husband, you have got to put your union with her over everything else. It doesn't have to be far ahead, but it does need to be on top.' I'm not sure about your advice, I would place my mental health and well being over placing the union over everything else. I'm not suggesting this guys wife has been playing away from home, but if you read enough posts here you will find out just how many of these situations are out of the OPs control because of extra-marital activity/extra relationship activity that they're completely unaware of until after things have broken down. Your post is also bordering on preaching/bible bashing and referring to ideals of marriage from two thousand years ago, something which I don't consider particularly helpful to the OP. OP, put yourself first. It sounds like you're doing all the right things with a counsellor that you're comfortable with. Good luck, and I hope you resolve things with professional help and not by prayer.
  5. I don't know if you're depressed or not, but perhaps you need to try new things that you haven't done before? A new hobby, gardening, life drawing classes, that sort of thing. If you do go to a doctor about it, be careful what they prescribe to you. Citalopram is great on one level for example, but crushes libido and will cause an entirely new dimension of problems in your life. The doctors and pharmaceutical companies don't promote that side of the drug widely.
  6. I have a handful of friends that go back years to Uni, they're really good quality. My ex had hundreds of friends, I couldn't even keep track of their names. They were all either neurotic or cluster b, or both. Go figure....
  7. You said you were downright rude to him, explain how? If someone was 'downright rude' to me I'm not sure I'd want to reconnect with them.
  8. Nobody is worth dying for, if you feel this bad go and see your doctor.
  9. So, how old are you and how old is your bf?
  10. Go the police, and have him cautioned.
  11. It's hardly a text out of the blue if she invited you to her beach house, is it?
  12. The dog responded to defend his pack mate when your gf raised her voice, he thought she was in distress. You won't be with your gf for long if you have her dog put down. However, it's REALLY important you go to your Doctor and have a tetanus jab.
  13. Perhaps she has personal things to talk about with her folks that she isn't comfortable discussing in front of you? I think if you carry on acting like this she'll finish with you.
  14. Paragraph 1 : ' (I'm a bad father) for putting my kids through this situation' Paragraph 2 : 'I've always been a responsible father to kids' So, in your heart of hearts, which one of the above is true in your opinion? You've got kids, if you lay off the weed you may be able to make better judgements in life.
  15. I would think about your exes feelings for a change, and leave her alone.
  16. I'd exchange a handful of emails, then throw her your number and say gimme a call if you fancy a drink. Let her chase you.
  17. Women initiate 75% of divorces, bear that for future reference. All the issues in your relationship were mulled over by her friends for months in advance, and she most likely left the relationship mentally a long time ago. There's also a good chance that there's another guy waiting in the wings for her, so please don't make a chump of yourself because I should imagine she's being less than honest with you right now. Just get all her stuff packed and ready to be taken away, then block her for at least a year and recover your emotional equilibrium.
  18. Difficult to say with a cheater, too many people's emotions to work out.
  19. 'hey, how's it going? I'm up the Eiffel Tower! Are you having a good day?' Or similar, you're thinking too deeply about it.
  20. You're 18, she's 18. Your folks know you're not going to be with each other forever. Inevitably one of you will cheat on the other and the whole thing will implode, so yeah, go get your rocks off. At your age it means nothing.
  21. At 21 girls are light years ahead of guys that age in terms of emotional maturity. They don't start evening out until post 25 in my opinion. He most likely wants to drink beers with his friends, get drunk, sleep around a bit, and have a laugh. This is because it's all he's capable of at this point in his life. You tried to inflict an adult relationship on him, he was too imature. Perhaps go for someone slightly older if you want a bit more depth?
  22. I'd be pleased to see the back of her if I were you, she's probably moved on with HER kids to the next meal ticket. If you miss the kids so much, I hope you meet a girl willing to give you some of your own.
  23. If badoo doesn't cost anything it will be full of cheaters, shaggers, and pond life. You have to pay a dating site to filter out the wasters.
  24. I dont agree with that, a college age person being dropped the way you suggest could do something silly like hurt themselves or worse. That's the last thing you want on your conscious at a young age. All the OP has to do is make sure that the 'friend' is never in a situation that could be misconstrued as romantic/intimate. Just keep her at arms length until her emotions subside, or she meets someone else. Treating her as a leper is not right.
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